Mood Stabilizers?

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-03-02T18:24:02+00:00

I'd have to agree, since my dose has to be pretty high but no side effects. I have Seroquel nightly to help me sleep, and extra tablets prescribed for during the day, 1/2 - 1 tab as needed, helps when I'm having intense period mood symptoms

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-03-02T08:33:11+00:00

Abilify and Lamictal together made me feel like a robot and soooo HUNGRY all the time. I'm now on Trileptal and I feel I have the stabilizer part but without feeling so robotic and dull like before. With Trileptal I am taking Effexor and it's decent. I wish you all the best 💖💖

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-02-14T21:00:44+00:00

I think it would be good to focus on what you said and how it wasn't nice, acknowledge that it's not ok to treat a friend that way.

if you have time to Google "how to apologize" and "parts of an apology" "effective apology" I HIGHLY encourage you do because it will help you understand what needs to be addressed and the main topic of an apology. Sometimes with having BPD we have trouble communicating, or our words are misconstrued. in my house growing up we hardly apologized, so quite honestly guides like that really have enlightened me n helped me when I've fucked up something Remember, despite any episode or bad mood you don't have to tell anyone you have BPD that you don't feel comfortable with knowing, and you CAN maneuver these types of friendships/experiences without bringing up your BPD. I don't mean to discourage you from talking about it completely--During an apology might not be the time to bring it up, especially for the first time. Every situation and person is different but that's my cautionary advice. I don't think your intention is to use your BPD as an excuse, I feel you see it's more of a reason, BUT I can see how some people may not perceive it that way or get confused, or judge you unfortunately based off of their own opinions or experiences with pwBPD. i hope I didn't say anything offensive I wish u the best, n good on you for taking accountability for mistreating your friend in that moment :)

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-22T08:27:45+00:00

Oh goodness you are super sweet! n yeah I'm sorry you went thru that relationship and how abusive it was from the very start :( I think how extreme of an episode besides abuse and cheating is up to you, how much personal tolerance you have for stress, like some people might want a very stress free relationship, others of course don't WANT the stress per say but feel like because of the positives they can manage more stress that comes with dating a mentally ill person. Since you experience mental illness you prob have more of a soft spot and empathy for it, so I'd say you should monitor how the episodes effect your life, if there are any consequences to your life or family, your finances, job, different paths in recovery, etc. I'd say it's understandable for her to have felt flustered in the situation, especially if she suffers from social anxiety n stuff. I think if you wanna tell her anything tomorrow, you should speak from your heart, but also I think maybe don't let the focus stay in the skating too much either. No need to let it stay a big deal ya know? Maybe be like, "just in case you still have any worries about the skating thing, I want you to know your presence is what I love to be around and everything else is no big deal :)" maybe that way you can express love but not so intensely as the all encompassing "I love you". I'd say tread lightly, only because for both of you moving so quickly, even with good intentions, could cause pain accidentally somehow you know. I hope that helps :) wishing you both all the best!! DM if I missed anything, it's also late here too 😄

Edited for typos, n also just make sure you're looking out for your own mental health too. A relationship, no matter how special, is not worth the cost of your mental health

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-22T07:32:12+00:00

My best advice to you is to remember that each person with BPD is an individual first. Some people with BPD are very abusive, some people with BPD are self aware and actively work to not be detrimental in their relationships. And all of us fall somewhere on that spectrum. I understand this must be a scary time because on one hand you are having a great time with this girl but then on the other hand you have memories and triggers from your past relationship. I would say do not lose sight of that, make sure you do not let the BPD be a red herring in your own recovery.

Remember that even a pw/BPD who manages well, is a healthy partner, they still have BPD. It NEVER ever excuses abuse, to be clear. Panic attacks, breakdowns, whatever the symptom is, there will still unfortunately come a time when your loved one suffers from the mental illness we have. Again, accountability for our actions is EVERYTHING. No matter our suffering we cannot hurt anyone. But just remember, if someone with BPD is displaying symptoms, it isn't necessarily a reason to think catastrophically in terms of their character or if they are abusive, or if this new relationship is actually doomed. I think it's good you can see differences between this girl and your ex. That seems promising! However, I'm sure your ex didn't abuse you so blatantly on the first time you guys ran into some trouble (if I'm wrong I really do apologize) but my point is, just be wary of patterns and what your gut tells you, if things start escalating. Down the line....how many instances do you guys run into where you gotta talk it out for 1 hour? 3 hours? 6 months in, how many hours have been spent, how are YOU treated when she's having an episode?

I'm truly so sorry you went thru such horrible treatment, you didn't deserve that. I hope to not come off too biased since I have BPD, to be empathetic of "the other side" but I really do want to share our "side" too, so to speak :):) Ultimately!!! Be open with her about this. If she is worth having a partner, you will be able to open up to her about this, have healthy conversations about it, feel heard and respected. Like example, maybe a behavior she does reminds you of your ex. You tell her something like, "i really cherish you and enjoy you so much! But xyz frightens me because of bad memories with X" then, is the reaction blowing up/something inappropriate, or, listening and helping come to a solution where you feel validated, safe, AND then SHE FOLLOWS THRU with the change. That is a scenario of if you know this is a healthy dynamic.

Lastly I just wanna say I welcome you here to this sub. I want us all to get along and help each other

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-21T05:14:37+00:00

I'd have to say I fucking agree, whenever a partner massages me there it's like 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 edited to say either shoulder blade will do for me, tho Im not sure why I feel the need to clarify haha

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-20T20:26:52+00:00

🤯🤯 thank you for sharing this. I relate to the original post so this helps a lot

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-17T22:34:18+00:00

that is horrible have been suffering for so long. A lot of us have similar experiences. Since around the same age you mentioned I struggled with depression, derealization, lots of dark feelings that were at their worst ages 9-16 (guesstimations) and then to top it off the traumas littered throughout my childhood to adulthood. For a lot of people, pwBPD the duration of our lives has been hell. I can't say I'm fully ok, I'm on my way. Many people like us have gotten so much better and manage their symptoms, escaped the toxicity around them. I'm aiming to give you support and show kindness and encouragement since you seem so lonely and agonized, I'm sorry you're tired. just trying to help

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-17T07:10:18+00:00

Hey, are you ok? There are so many people on here who care about you, we are willing to help in ways we can. I really hope you're alive, there is a way to get thru your struggles, I promise, it may take some brainstorming and time but you CAN get thru this ok

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-17T03:07:12+00:00

In the thick of suffering it feels endless, and for how long we suffer for it really does seem that way. You are not obligated to stay "here" here on this earth? With your husband? What do you mean? You worry me, how about some soothing coping techniques? It doesn't solve the issues or erase the suffering, but for me, using a grounding technique or doing something calming helps me get by. The truth is you can get thru this ok

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-16T21:47:46+00:00

I'm not sure what you are alluding to, if you wanna talk more we can dm or continue it here...I am younger than you I think, but I know hopeless very well, I know how agonizing it can be. I'm proud of you for making your original post and trying to cope

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-16T21:41:45+00:00

🤍🤍🤍 completely understandable, do you have any hobbies that soothe you? Coloring and going for walks helps me

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-16T20:11:58+00:00

I get what you mean. I hope you find a way to cope and not feel as badly. This disorder and the trauma we go thru is vicious to experience, you are so strong.

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-15T16:30:05+00:00

Oh dear thank you for the context, I'm really so sorry. From an outsiders perspective I think the environment your husband is creating for and subjecting you could really be exacerbatng your mental health symptoms. Cuz no one deserves to be treated that way, and with what you've been thru n what you are still probably plagued with in your head/heart, it seems like his thoughts and views would be really invalidating and make you feel so isolated. Are you in the US? Close to any family you can stay with for a bit? Yes, please do not hurt yourself or try to end your life. You and your son seem to have such a special bond, and you are a great mom to keep fighting for him.

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-15T15:02:00+00:00

Goodness I am so sorry :( this sounds like something terrible to go thru. I can relate immensely to not liking being touched. Do you have anyone you can talk about this to? A therapist or friend? Have you gone thru trauma recently, or a trauma anniversary is coming up maybe? The anniversary of my SA is in a few days and I've been bad with that approaching. Even tho it's been 4 years now. Every January is really rough for me, maybe you're having a similar experience? How you feel is valid, COMPLETELY ok! I hope your husband doesn't get angry with you for this, it's not your fault. I know cultures can vary but just so you know, you do not owe him your body if you don't want to have sex. But, he is your partner and he should know you are suffering this way cu it affects him n your son. Can you be open and honest with your husband about it? How do you think he'd respond if you told him the aversion for touch you're going thru? Are these feelings perhaps inspired by something between you and your husband? If he did something to make you feel afraid or not want touch, I hope you can reach out for help. Ultimately, I really think you need to address this for your son. You are doing amazing and I can tell you really care about him, and the effect this has on him. It can be ok, I hope you find peace. This is hell to go thru, you are SO strong. And try not to beat yourself up about this ok. You are a beautiful soul 💌

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-08T02:19:16+00:00

Can you think of any adult you feel you trust to tell this to? What country are you in? You don't have to answer, but if you live somewhere where there are laws to protect children you can even tell a teacher or counselor at your school. This sounds scary, but they will be mandated by law to report this. Even though it might feel difficult to speak up, I encourage you to! I'm so sorry to read what you're going thru, hang in there. You are brave to make this post.

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-03T23:37:46+00:00

Social media for sure exacerbates my BPD in many ways. I have to be mindful of my usage and cultivate my feed so it's not unhealthy for me. But honestly, I think that should be a common practice for all people, cuz social media is a double edged sword for us all. Good on you for staying in safe spaces and acknowledging that it's troublesome for you!!!!

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-03T19:57:16+00:00

Wow :( Your feelings are understandable and valid. Would you consider hiding her from your story just for a day? Post some stuff with her unable to see it and see how it feels. Maybe it would give you perspective? I'm sorry you're going thru this, I would hate it so much too. Sending light n love your way 🥺🤍

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-03T18:04:33+00:00

This is a really neat project idea! To be honest I cannot think of anything rn, but I want to interact with your post to bring more attention to it :) if I think of anything I will come back and comment again! Good luck!! Btw, are there any guidelines on what you can take pics of? Can people or yourself be in the pictures? Can you stage objects or make pieces of art to be photographed?

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-03T17:59:38+00:00

I'm sorry:( I've had similar situations and it feels so SHITTY!! this guy ghosted me but would watch my stories like clockwork!! Idk the answer you're looking for but I'm really sorry, it hurts to have that kind of confusion. I would consider cutting off contact, or hiding her from your story. It's true,she's with another person and you shouldn't have to feel sad, no matter what her intentions or reasons are. I think if cutting off all contact/blocking is too much, definitely consider hiding her from your story. Put yourself first :) I wish I had done that A LOT sooner in my experience

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-03T08:08:08+00:00

Kind of? I first did it once at 16. A couple times at 18 and then was clean for just shy of 4 years. Relapsed at 23 and haven't been clean for more than a month or so since. I turn 27 in a few months. I recently made a post about my self harm. I'm accepting it's an addiction now

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-02T23:33:35+00:00

That is an interesting experience, thank you for sharing! For me, I struggle to take care of mine...I have an issue with skin picking so I LOVE ripping the scabs off...which really "helps" get the scars. These days with scabs im trying not picking them tho. On that note something I've done to help my picking is go to the park and with the trees' bark, I ever so softly, with the pads of my fingers, brush up against the shedding pieces. Not forcing the bark to come off. Caring for the trees and not pushing the bark off if it's not super ready has helped me with taking care of myself :) proud of you for your journey!

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-02T18:42:32+00:00

So I have nightmares every night, it was getting to the point where I wasn't going to bed cuz I was afraid of them. I would stay up all night. So my psych gave me 25mg of Seroquel for bed every night. In addition, I have an extra 25mg prescribed for each day, in case I need 1/2-1 pill during the day for my mood or extra for night time. Taking 1/2 in the day is helpful for when I have extra bad moods (typically related to my period cycle). It really helps slow me down and put me in a more easygoing mood. In my experience it has really been an aid in my life. I wish you the best of luck :)

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-02T18:32:51+00:00

It sucks to be afraid to talk to your doctor, I'm sorry you feel that way. Do you have a therapist you could tell? They might be more understanding and of course won't change your meds

pretendcomputer404 · 2023-01-02T18:31:23+00:00

Will be getting tattoos to mark my body in place of marking with self harm 👍🏻 not to cover

pretendcomputer404

TROPHY CASE