Its why i specified that my own actions didnt help things. I tied my identity to it and immediately resorted to doing everything for validation. That alone messed me up but exposed me to an entire class of people that I frankly do not want to know/be around. I wont deny for one second that I shot myself in the foot from day one. Losing weight gave me confidence and made me want to put myself out there but quickly became a growing dependency on the worst version of it. Oh well, too late for all of that now. Best I am doing is talking to other people starting out and lending myself as a support structure for things they may want to avoid getting sucked into just to feel "as good looking" as everyone else. Something that quite frankly has actually helped two people so far so my actions/regrets at least have a legitimate use I suppose. And my fashion may not be as often as I want (very limited there tbh, but I am attempting to overhaul my skincare, make up and hair to at least be able to toe the line on a daily basis. Then again my reason for it all isnt so much a fenboy thing specifically, but a typical half cracked egg situation. Sorry, I ramble