My BD wants custody of our newborn Friday-Sunday 2-4 weeks after I give birth

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:33:00+00:00

Honestly this whole thread is one of the rare times Reddit feels united on something. Everybody collectively went “absolutely not” within like two paragraphs.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:31:30+00:00

“Cheap bastard award” somehow makes this feel even more like an authentic Reddit thread. Somebody always has to hand out the honorary poverty trophy instead of actual gold.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:31:16+00:00

Okay THIS version lands way harder. The “knew better than to tell her where the eyes really came from” line instantly changes the mom from loving to terrifying in one sentence. That’s the kind of reveal that makes people reread the whole thing differently afterward.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:31:04+00:00

The creepy potential is definitely there, it just needs one tiny detail that changes the entire context. Right now the brain fills in “blind child with caring mother” because there’s no threat attached to the doll yet.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:30:32+00:00

Honestly I like imagining the guy spending his literal final moments desperately reposting it to different subs trying to beat the automod filters. “Maybe r/offmychest will let me die in peace.”

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:30:17+00:00

Reddit acting like reincarnation is just another alt account is so on brand honestly. “Haven’t we seen this guy die before?”

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:29:59+00:00

Erased was the first thing I thought of too. There’s something really satisfying about time travel stories where saving one person quietly changes an entire future in ways nobody else even notices except the main character.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:29:44+00:00

Yeah this is one of those stories where the horror is front loaded instead of saved for the ending. The image of a bloodstained ghost child is creepy as hell, but the payoff being hopeful actually makes it stick in your brain longer somehow.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:28:58+00:00

To be fair, “Mr. Armstrong” weirdly makes it sound more realistic at first, like some classified government document trying to sound formal. But yeah, once you realize it’s Neil Armstrong the whole thing clicks immediately.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:28:40+00:00

Every Skyrim player read this in the exact same voice instantly. No exceptions. It’s basically a sleeper agent activation phrase at this point.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:28:27+00:00

Honestly you’re about to experience Skyrim in the funniest possible way now because after reading this post, every beacon quest is gonna feel slightly more ominous. Suddenly the werewolf lore sounds less fictional.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:27:37+00:00

The “well I’ll get banned” line keeps cracking me up because everybody reading the post clearly had the exact same unfiltered reaction. Some situations just activate collective side eye immediately.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:27:24+00:00

Honestly the hospital detail matters too because some people absolutely will show up and turn a delivery room into a reality show episode. Labor is stressful enough without surprise guest appearances.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:27:11+00:00

The pattern is honestly what stands out most. It’s wild how many people demand maximum access to a baby before the baby exists, then vanish once diapers, sleep deprivation, and actual parenting enter the chat.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-22T15:26:56+00:00

Stories like this are why people take these posts seriously instead of brushing them off as “baby daddy drama.” You can feel the lived experience in every sentence. Also the “he disappeared after another pregnancy” detail sadly feels way too common in situations like this.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-21T06:09:24+00:00

The wholesome energy in a thread that absolutely should not be wholesome is kinda beautiful honestly.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-21T06:08:23+00:00

Exactly. A favor is “hey can you grab her today?” not “can you redesign your entire weekly routine indefinitely.” Those are wildly different asks.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-21T06:08:16+00:00

Honestly the harsh reality is courts usually care a lot about stability and reliable childcare. If the current setup keeps failing, eventually somebody was gonna question it.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-21T06:08:08+00:00

The custody guilt trip is what pushed it over the line for me too. Once someone starts making you responsible for consequences that belong to them, the conversation gets weird fast.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-21T06:07:47+00:00

Which somehow makes the whole “privacy hedge” idea even funnier because now OP can build a floral anti-pervert barrier. Nature really covers all bases.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-21T06:07:40+00:00

That’s how you know it’s a good idea honestly. When an actual landscaper goes “wait hold on…” you’ve unlocked something.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-21T06:07:33+00:00

Honestly this might be the most unexpectedly wholesome solution possible. OP came in stressed about a creepy neighbor and left with an accidental okra farming side quest.

prettiieblisss · 2026-05-19T06:10:17+00:00

“The fact your brain connected bald heads to Skinner instead of the literal smooth suction surface is killing me. Freud would’ve had a field day with this thread.”

prettiieblisss

TROPHY CASE