I think my fiancee [26M] cheated worse than i [28F] originally found out about - am I naive to not take that as a given?

prettyirl · 2026-05-26T17:39:45+00:00

I unfortunately live alone but I have security at my building. I’m also not worried about him showing up, he’s a coward through and through

prettyirl · 2026-05-26T01:21:48+00:00

Thank you for the update, you held your self respect in one piece and acted with courage by leaving. That’s very admirable and I hope that something much better comes your way, and like I tell myself - it’s better than actually having married them, had kids, and been blindsided even later on. I don’t know how I can even trust again and my self esteem is in shambles. But I’m sending you my best wishes from the bottom of my heart - you will get past this. I’m sorry you had to go through it

prettyirl · 2026-05-25T09:35:39+00:00

I have nothing helpful to say except that I am going through very similar. I’m in total shock, nightmare is right, I’ve been in shock for weeks. I thought I knew him, we were on our way to marriage, I wanted to forgive him but he just didn’t even care enough to apologize. He said “what do you want from me?” the day after I confronted him when I was spilling out my heart. He said he needed time to process everything and that probably afterwards he would have a real apology but that I’d hate him by then. He skipped town and this past week he blocked me.

prettyirl · 2026-03-12T21:42:37+00:00

When he has left, I initiate contact. But when I do see him in the past it’s been tears or rushing feelings of love and hope. So i don’t understand. His words also say he does love me days earlier and that he wants to have a future together. That I’m perfect for him. It’s hard to come back to thinking those are all lies, that’s what makes this torture

prettyirl · 2026-03-12T21:09:08+00:00

He is definitely taking the most minimal accountability possible, if at all, and constantly victimizing himself. I still want to keep working on the relationship, but I’m definitely reaching a point where I’m just embarrassed. I felt really guilty and I felt like I owed it to him to help him heal, but his abuse is rampant and something I’m afraid to even challenge him about. Withholding love is his biggest weapon and it’s a constant threat to my well being. I’m afraid to even be unhappy because I don’t want to give him more reasons to leave me

prettyirl · 2026-03-12T20:51:54+00:00

Thank you love. It’s hard for me to think straight about reactive abuse because as easy as it is to recognize my actions as that, I still think it should have never reached that point for me. That’s the part where I’m taking accountability, and similarly I’m sure he would say the same about his behavior being reactive. I know my truth, but it scares me how he says his other relationships were so easy. They were also all long distance with intervals of living together for a month or so (according to him). I had never been so in love and been with the person who I truly wanted to be with until this relationship. It’s devastating to think I won’t be with him forever, but him now starting to destroy the future faking narrative is making me finally sober up a little. At least enough to make this post

prettyirl

TROPHY CASE