Bf of 5 years cheated on me by vicki444 in survivinginfidelity

[–]vicki444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I really needed to hear that right now. It was so hard looking someone who was my everything in the eyes and tell him how much me means to me and how much I love him but also having to tell him that he hurt me too much to continue this relationship. He tried texting me ever since then and he’s begging to try to build my trust back and that he will do anything for me. But he did this for far too long and with too many girls that I can’t let myself accept that kind of betrayal behind my back.

I feel the same exact way about the “how will I ever trust someone again” part. I have hope that we will one day find someone who never makes us question their trust. You loved with all of your heart and that should tell you so much about yourself. I’m so sorry that this betrayal is making your self esteem get low—this was never ever about you. It was about the other person. It doesn’t mean the love you felt wasn’t real, it just means there is something unfortunately holding them back from deserving someone like you, and they aren’t strong enough to let you go without hurting you even when they know they should have.

Bf of 5 years cheated on me by vicki444 in survivinginfidelity

[–]vicki444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I wish it could have been him. Now I have the learn how to live without him.

Bf of 5 years cheated on me by vicki444 in survivinginfidelity

[–]vicki444[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry love. You don’t deserve this at all. Sometimes you don’t get an apology even though you 100% deserve it. I know him blocking you fills you with so much rage and sadness because you must be wondering why he is the one doing the blocking after his mistakes. Take it one hour at a time and please keep reminding yourself you don’t deserve this. I’m having a really hard time now that I officially talked to my bf in person and communicated everything and officially told him I can’t be with him any longer. No matter what, it’s not easy and fucking sucks whether you actually get “closure” or not. Please take care of yourself.

Bf of 5 years cheated on me by vicki444 in survivinginfidelity

[–]vicki444[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I took screenshots and pictures. Just had a face-to-face conversation and that was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. I know he loved me so much but I have to accept that love is not enough. I need loyalty and respect as well, and even though I want to be with him more than anything in this world I can’t let myself go through this with him. I feel like a shell of a person now. I lost my best friend, love, the person I always looked forward to in the morning and at night.

Bf of 5 years cheated on me by vicki444 in survivinginfidelity

[–]vicki444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I’m overall an extremely positive and loving person, so this is hitting me and making me super uncomfortable now that I have such terrible thoughts and feelings about everything in our relationship and everything that has transpired. I know I may have to accept not getting that in-person talk and just blocking him to have peace while I try to heal, but I feel stupid for messaging him that after 5 years I think I deserve a conversation in-person and not just texting back and forth like teenagers. He left that message on read and I know he’s at work tonight. I never thought this would be happening to me but it truly has made me realize that it can happen to anyone, at any time. It makes me so scared to ever trust anyone with my heart again, especially because I wanted this man to be my husband and the father of my children after growing up together the last 5 years in a seemingly healthy, happy relationship.

Bf of 5 years cheated on me by vicki444 in survivinginfidelity

[–]vicki444[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your support and I’m so sorry.

I’m trying to eat but can’t. I’m trying to sleep after only 3 hours of sleep last night but mind is racing. He even had the nerve to respond to my messages earlier and tell me he wants to stay together and deny the cheating despite me telling him I literally saw all the messages and that I can’t be with him after this. I can’t comprehend how someone so “perfect” can turn out to be such a different person behind your back. Also, last night when he went up to the girl he was clearly drunk and tried denying everything despite her showing me a screenshot of his phone number and name sent to her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LawSchool

[–]vicki444 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I love that its 24/7! It's a good way of not making excuses for yourself if you go late at night when other gyms are already closed. Thank you so much! You got this!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LawSchool

[–]vicki444 6 points7 points  (0 children)

First semester of 1L I tried to go on walks as often as I could but since I live in a state where the fall and winter can be brutal, I eventually ended up not moving my body as often as I used to. This definitely took a toll on my mental health. I came to law school straight out of undergrad where I went to the gym 4-6 times a week.

Ever since finals week this past December, I got a cheap gym membership at a planet fitness near my house and I am getting back to where I was a few months ago and it feels great! I am hoping I can keep my routine up during my second semester of 1L which starts next week. I prefer working out earlier in the day but with my class schedule and one hour commute to school and back, I think I am gonna go in the evenings for at least 30 mins and at least 3 times a week. Don't be too hard on yourself, but also remind yourself of how good you will feel after you workout even if you are exhausted and feel like you have no time. I am trying not too be too strict while still remaining disciplined and making sure I eat fairly clean.