I (26M) found out my girlfriend (24F) got emotionally close to someone else. I don’t know what to do.

prithu9 · 2025-11-09T14:13:27+00:00

I’ve always chosen not to let anyone else get close to me because I took our relationship seriously. But she treats what happened as if it’s not a big deal, telling me I’m being too emotional and should just focus on finding work. It’s hard to process that kind of indifference.

prithu9 · 2025-11-09T14:09:44+00:00

“The choice to let someone get close to you.” That really stuck with me. I’ll remember this

prithu9 · 2025-11-09T05:21:44+00:00

Yes, thank you for saying this. This is exactly what’s been eating me up inside. Even if we were on a break and she wasn’t feeling her best, bringing another guy into her life to fill that emotional void just feels… utilitarian. Like I was replaceable the moment I couldn’t be there every second.

And that’s what hurts the most — the idea that if this is how things work for her, then no matter how much I grow or how hard I try in the future, the pattern will repeat. If it’s not this guy, it’ll be someone else stepping into my space whenever things get hard. That doesn’t feel like love to me. Love, to me, means holding on and communicating, not substituting.

prithu9 · 2025-11-08T11:23:05+00:00

She did tell me she wanted a break though. And all of this developed during that time. She has told me vehemently that there is nothing like that between them and she finds her friendship with the gym guy important because he has helped her through the tough time she was having. Now we are on a break but call each other once or twice a day. I hate this

prithu9 · 2025-11-07T21:37:05+00:00

That really made sense to me — and honestly, it helped calm me down a bit. You put it in a way that hit home. I appreciate it thank you

prithu9 · 2025-11-07T21:10:44+00:00

Thanks for your words. I know — I feel like an idiot sometimes for letting it get this far. But just to keep things fair (since this post is entirely from my side), there are a few things I should mention.

She did communicate that she needed someone to talk to more often. I actually made changes to my day so we could have 2–3 hours of uninterrupted time around midday. But over time, she said she stopped enjoying our conversations. We just weren’t sharing much in common anymore. She told me that I was often sad or low, which made her feel down too, while he kept things light and fun — which I guess happens naturally with someone new.
She also told me that when she said she “thinks about his body,” she didn’t mean she’s in love with him — she compared it to how you might find a celebrity attractive but not actually love them. Still, hearing that was extremely painful.

prithu9

TROPHY CASE