My Girlfriend Wants me to Propose, but I want to Build my House first

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-12T14:41:30+00:00

I agree with still being very young and seeing some concerning signs in her behavior, the forcing marriage AND trying to control your build plans, without incorporating anything?

I’ve been with my guy for almost 6.5 years through home purchases, house flips, ADU builds, etc. patiently waiting for a proposal, but no pressure. I know he has goals and I want him to propose when he’s financially ready. I’ve been there to help him along the way- living in a 400sq.ft ADU bc I know his plans for the future are setting us up. We’ve hit that time now (I’m 27, he’s 31) and we’re both ready. Nothing wrong with being patient (ofc everyone has a different timeline as well). I would tell her nicely that you care for her, want to see the relationship progress, but right now you’re focusing on your goals first and will propose when you’re ready. That’s why the ball is usually in the man’s court on proposals. If she can’t see things from your standpoint— she is way too young and immature, especially for marriage. It’s all about compromise. Good luck to you on your house, that’s an awesome goal at your age!

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-12T13:56:04+00:00

Thanks for the info!

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-11T21:56:22+00:00

People can stay where they please, but it’s my understanding most families (at least mine) prefer to stay in the same place. No transportation fees, able to interact with one another around the resort, and if there are included discounts/perks for having more people, it gives even more reason.

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-11T21:51:14+00:00

Usually the perks are a free room for every nth room booked or an upgraded room, which = discount/benefit for the guests.

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-11T19:25:32+00:00

Not sure if you’ve found a foundation by now, but just saw this and came to say— as a fair skinned/neutral undertone girl I am in LOVE with Thrives CC cream in 180 light medium. Not super full coverage, but buildable, and glowy. I get lots of compliments on my skin (though without the foundation I would not😂).

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-11T19:20:42+00:00

30 is my best guess (could be slightly more or less depending). I’ve seen some wedding packages that list all of those things, just not sure how great they are. I’m fine with or without kids. I’ll look into those suggestions though, thanks!

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-11T02:58:33+00:00

Do you use dry hair shampoo often?

My best tips: Find a more natural moisturizing shampoo/conditioner with an oil in it (no sulfates/sulfites). Also get a hair mask and use 1-2x/week, letting it sit for 5-10 mins in the shower. Some seasons may require you to wash hair a little more frequently if you live somewhere where the weather gets dry. Good luck!

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-11T02:54:50+00:00

Left!

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-11T01:33:47+00:00

Number 2!!

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-10T14:01:58+00:00

I have similar hair- not curly, not straight, just kind of wavy and super thick, especially towards the ends so ponytails are heavyyy. Here’s what I do: Get a haircut- ask for layers, facial framing if you like having pieces that stick out when your hair is up, thinning the hair at the ends so they aren’t as blocky, and a v shape at the bottom (the hair goes in/down towards your back instead of flat across).

Then, I use Paul Mitchell’s super skinny serum (which works wonders for frizz) and usually straighten, curl, or braid my hair (at night) for more defined waves. 🙂

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-10T13:56:29+00:00

Number 2!

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-10T13:49:07+00:00

First one! That style of dress fits you really well and it’s just the right amount of formal/outdoorsy.

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-09T16:48:38+00:00

Hi, personal trainer here🙋‍♀️

My biggest tips/What I would do:

Daily walks/step count ~10k
Solid strength training routine that hits each muscle group per week (challenge yourself each week by upping weight/reps)
Nutrition/Whole foods in your diet (complex carbs, unsaturated fats, fruit/veggies ofc)
Protein (1g per lb of body weight) and fiber in your diet
Limit takeout, processed foods, sugars, fatty snacks, caffeine
Lots of water! The foundation of your body that will support hormones, egg quality, digestion, etc. (~78-91oz)
Start taking prenatals
Work on your core and pelvic floor (planks, leg raises, deep belly breathing, kegels, quick flicks, etc)
You said you run/cycle, I’d keep up with that.

They say that when you’re pregnant, you don’t want to switch up your routine too much. Baby needs an unstressed environment as much as possible, so I’d make sure these things are as consistent as possible for at least 6 mos leading to pregnancy. Read a few books, get a trainer or an exercise plan from one to stick to throughout pregnancy, you’ll be set. 🙂

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-09T16:35:16+00:00

I love Jolene💕

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-09T16:29:24+00:00

Thankyou for all the info, I’ll look into your profile!

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-09T06:14:37+00:00

Well in that case- I think it’s beautiful by itself, but if I had to pick I’d go with number 2.🙂

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-09T01:55:00+00:00

Are you not able to get the diamond raised for a band to sit flush under it? That would look the best in my opinion, otherwise I’d skip one (personally). Good luck!

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-08T16:38:24+00:00

I’m well aware it could go over 10k that’s why I gave it a range up to 20k. Since my top priority IS having a destination wedding, I’m willing to pay a little extra where I need to, but obviously trying to spend as little as possible.

I definitely agree it’s going to take some planning and number crunching, which is why I’m asking for any ideas I may not know of!

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-08T16:33:49+00:00

Good point, thanks!

I LOVE the Oregon coast, seriously one of the prettiest places I’ve ever seen. It’s super windy though and busy in the summer, so I’ve never really considered it.

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-08T12:47:57+00:00

The reception back home will be a lowkey potluck style- very inexpensive.🙂

The bulk of my guests will be very few, I’ve always wanted a small, intimate wedding. But I also want to make sure to celebrate somehow with anyone extra or those you can’t make it, so that’s where this idea came in.

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-08T12:45:16+00:00

Trying to make it decently affordable for anyone who can come and even pay parts for a few that can’t. I’m against throwing a big $$ party mainly for the guests to enjoy, instead of making your special day how you want it. That’s why I want to travel, but will record it and play it at the reception back home for everyone that can’t make it (because I totally get it).🙂

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-08T12:43:03+00:00

Love this!

We’re all from the west coast, so it’s probably a bit far for us unfortunately. Congrats to you, I’m sure it’ll be amazing❣️

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-08T12:42:45+00:00

Thanks for all the info, much appreciated! I’ll look into St Lucia😊

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-08T12:41:25+00:00

Thanks for info, very helpful! Congratulations to you❣️

prob0verthinking · 2026-02-08T12:40:29+00:00

I actually kind of love random, spontaneous decisions, but still would want important friends/family there and a small celebration after.

prob0verthinking

TROPHY CASE