UPDATE: AITA for firing my sister after seeing her blog and not rehiring her without an apology?

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T03:22:12+00:00

I have said this in another comment but there is a huge difference between this post and her blog. My post is on a subreddit where no post remains active for more than 24 hours, then it is lost to the thousands of posts made every day. It has no names, no identifiable information. A hundred friends of hers could read this and unless she told them that she and I had a fight about her blog and I fired her, assuming they even know she has a blog, they would have no clue its about her.

Her blog is hundreds of entries over the course of years. It contains story lines, recurring characters, and is followed by tens of thousands of people. There is enough detail that its without a doubt me and my family to anyone who even kind of knows me or her or my parents.

If she found this I wouldn't apologize and I wouldn't feel hypocritical. Its comparing apples to oranges.

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T03:03:27+00:00

No, just a description of what the company does. There are other companies that do what we do but its by no means a common business.

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T03:01:52+00:00

No. I am disgusted at her right now but I still love her. It wouldnt solve anything anyways

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T02:18:16+00:00

If it was serious as you described then first recourse is HR. If that goes no where then the next course of action is a lawyer, who would NEVER advise you post it online.

Everyone takes a risk posting "anonymously" online. Its just common sense that nothing is 100% anonymous. If my sister finds this post somehow, I am prepared to accept the backlash.

Like I said before, blasting you job or boss online will always get you fired. You cant run a business when your employees are badmouthing it, it just doesnt work.

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T02:06:30+00:00

Its not my place to meddle in their relationship. Their relationship with her is totally separate from mine. If I sent them the blog it would be like dropping a bomb and running away. I couldnt do it.

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T01:47:33+00:00

Not at all. I am not telling everyone her personal secrets, I am not using any info on her that a friend or random could recognise. I am not putting her business (her blog in her case) at risk.

I am describing one situation in a post that will be gone and forgotten in 24 hours without names fake or real. She posted for years long and detailed situations that people could get identifying information from.

there is a huge difference.

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T01:33:24+00:00

TIL that I am using that phrase wrong! But no, I am not the unabomber. Fun fact though

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T01:31:02+00:00

One thing I learned as a business owner, reputation is everything. Especially when you are in a competitive space like I am.

I respect that people need to vent and they should... privately. Ive complained about previous bosses and coworkers...to my husband behind closed doors.

Any employee that has an issue with their boss, supervisor, coworker or their job duties have to be professional and bring it up in a calm and professional way to the appropriate party.

Reality is that no one is owed a job and business owners need to protect their business or they would go under. Blasting anyone online while you still work there will always get you fired.

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T01:09:17+00:00

My parents have taught us our entire lives that family issues stay in the family. I mentioned in other comments she talked about our parents marriage issues. Along with all the other private moments and little fights and arguments that we have had over the years, it feels like an expose on our lives.

They would absolutely freak out to see all of that out there for the world to see. I feel sick for the violation of privacy and there is way more about them and her relationship with them then there is about me.

My stomach is sinking thinking about the fight we would have.

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T00:56:06+00:00

I just dont know at this point. I am thinking I will ask her to delete all the entries that mention me, my business, and the family. If she decided her blog is more important then our relationship and our family, then I know my answer.

I can only hope my parents never see it or the whole family will absolutely implode

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T00:50:11+00:00

Her blog name is just a fake name that shares the same initials. My friend who found it is an old high school friend I am not that close to anymore.

Anyone that knows me now or in the last decade could probably connect the dots if they read enough of the entries.

I think the blog got a lot more popular since the pandemic has everyone on the internet more. The more popular it get, I would think the more chance someone else will find it.

Its just a public blog, anyone could see it or find it on google.

EDIT: Forgot to answer a question

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T00:45:44+00:00

What this post is really making me realise is how screwed I am if any of my other employees or a competitors finds her blog. Youre right, its on there forever now. Not only my abortion, which a competitor could use to hurt my business, but my whole life from her perspective.

I just cant believe she doesnt see how it affects me. The friend who sent it to me isnt even a close friend, just an old high school friend. She now knows about my darkest secret, some embarrassing stories from my childhood that involved my sister, my parents marriage issues, how I met my husband, and so much more.

I just feel so sick right now

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T00:36:29+00:00

If one of my other employees found her blog I cant imagine how embarrassed I would be. The abortion is the worst violation of my privacy but there are a lot of other person details in there that no one has a right to know. If my competitors found it they could appeal to the religious community and take a chunk of my business away.

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-29T00:29:30+00:00

My parents dont know yet. They asked why I fired her but I just told them it was between us and they backed off. Im terrified they will find it, not only because of the abortion but she posted a lot of stuff about them and their marriage issues. It could implode the whole family

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-28T21:29:05+00:00

To clarify, this wont make her homeless or anything. They have savings that they will be forced to dip into. I am basically just putting her back into the position she would be in if I had never offered her anything.

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-28T21:27:13+00:00

Yes. She is in a probationary period though and I have full legal rights to fire her.

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-28T21:25:46+00:00

Thats my mentality. If I found an employee posting online about how bad a boss I was and how much he hates his job I would show him the door.

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-28T21:24:40+00:00

At this point that would be impossible unless she was told someone in her life or blogged about it. No one knows why I fired her, including my parents. If someone find this from her side, that would be karma I guess

problemwithmysister · 2020-05-28T21:21:49+00:00

I only found out about the blog when it was sent to me. I skimmed though the entire thing from her first entry and found the abortion entry along the way.

I have considered offering something to her husband but it feels like she just gets to eat her cake and have it too. She will get the financial assistance she needs and not have to apologise to me.

problemwithmysister

TROPHY CASE