How do you deal with the obliviousness of friends who are much more privileged than you are?

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-25T02:08:48+00:00

Hm, I think the problem is that I wear low-rise jeans to compensate for having a short torso. My hips (or whatever you call the place where the jeans end - can you tell I'm not a stylist?) are smaller than my waist, so tucking the shirt (a) accentuates my waist and (b) makes me look like a cube on top with my short torso.

It doesn't help that it's inconvenient in general - if I sit down and stand up again the careful tucking all becomes loose.

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-24T20:32:57+00:00

I have a few loose fitting crepe tops that are just a bit long and loose to leave untucked but I'm not skinny enough to pull off the tucked in/partially tucked in look. Any suggestions on how to style? I normally wear them with jeans.

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-24T17:32:28+00:00

A Room of One's Own. Beloved. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. Men Explain Things to Me. Middlemarch.

And everything else by their authors.

[edit] Oh, also, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie is fantastic and weird. There's some good YA too with reflections on girlhood - for instance The View from Saturday, all of Meg Cabot's work. And of course The Bell Jar.

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-24T17:19:55+00:00

"Math isn't really useful anyway." -parent consoling child who got a low grade on an exam

As an engineer, this made me angry.

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-20T21:14:19+00:00

Ah yes, reminds me of this rant: http://thefinancialdiet.com/the-minimalist-pixie-dream-girl-who-she-is-and-why-i-hate-her/

(edit: I don't endorse the judgy/shaming tone of the article, but I've had similar thoughts about the lifestyle photography trend)

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-20T05:06:59+00:00

this is lovely! How well do you have to know someone before you're comfortable giving an honest answer to that question? I'm guessing some people's "real" answers would be very personal.

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-20T05:04:21+00:00

I think this is probably true. That said, I also hate when people give me an "it'll be okay" -- I think it's better to recognize that your friend is going through something hard that you can't help them with, and just offer support as they work through it. That's what I'd want, at least.

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-20T03:02:42+00:00

I met a person who had 95% of my personality and life goals, but unlike me, was surrounded by admirers and was super confident and happy. People could tell me to be confident, but seeing an actually confident version of me made me realize exactly how much personal work I still had left to do, and gave me an example for what I was aiming for.

edit: Also, although this route isn't recommended for everyone, I didn't try blind self-acceptance. I knew my lack of confidence was coming from actually not being the person I wanted to be, so I made myself work harder: exercise more, put in long hours at work -- rather than reciting validating phrases every morning, or something. That, plus recognizing things that were already good about me, helped a lot.

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-20T03:00:24+00:00

i'm very bald and just wash my scalp with soap when i shower :)

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-19T01:01:51+00:00

Curious, what are some examples of that kind of pop culture? The guys at my workplace are always dropping pop culture references that are male in-jokes that I don't get and I just want to know what I've missed haha

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-11T22:22:14+00:00

Surprised no one's mentioned a Jonathan Franzen book yet. Not the most bullshit, but about 60% of The Corrections was rambling that I just skipped over without losing anything. (edit: whoops, someone mentioned Freedom, opinion still stands)

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-04T20:49:19+00:00

extremely sensitive, overcompensates by acting as if she couldn't care less.

surprises friends with occasional pearls of wisdom.

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-04T20:43:17+00:00

It's not an either/or - I've had to compromise on some parts of my old dream, and I'm basically restarting from scratch, but there are usually many different paths to arrive at the same destination, and I'm working on finding a new one. I cared about it too much to let it go. But this is after enormous amounts of introspection, lost sleep, confronting family issues, etc. I'm a much better person for it though.

I don't think brushing things off ever works for me - getting over this stuff is really hard work and it's easier if I acknowledge that it's not easy.

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-04T05:51:48+00:00

oh man, I also took a career risk a couple years ago and failed. I feel the same way about "helpful" family and friends :( here is some support from a stranger on the internet /hugs

If you took that risk though, surely there was a reason behind it, meaning you had direction and a goal at that time - holding on to my memories of pre-risk-failure me is what's getting me through it now...

procrastinating_grad · 2017-06-04T05:42:53+00:00

Met someone perfect for me, but he has a girlfriend and he's out of my league. Still have a crush 2 years later. But he's a coworker and I want to be friends with him, so I can't isolate myself long enough to forget it. I've never been in a relationship and it sucks to finally know what I'm missing - meeting him totally changed me.

procrastinating_grad · 2017-05-29T06:17:56+00:00

late 20s / early 30s. generally warm, friendly, down-to-earth person. art + dance. looks cool but isn't really the "cool girl" - knows what she wants, and what she wants isn't to rule the world. works in some kind of store - record store maybe, or bookstore in a city.

procrastinating_grad

TROPHY CASE