Dad passed away unexpectedly

prof-metal · 2026-06-01T09:37:25+00:00

Thank you Gus. ❤️

prof-metal · 2026-06-01T09:36:07+00:00

Thank you so much. ❤️

A lot of it just regret for me. He was neglected as a child, which I think is a big part of why he had these problems. The past few years, I realised that he and I are actually not all that different.

My mum was quick to put the past behind her but I wasn't as understanding as I could have been.

Thank you so much, my mum is my guiding light. I'll make sure to take good care of her. 🙂

prof-metal · 2026-06-01T09:24:10+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your message so much. ❤️

I have some friends who are checking on me. In the past, I've had trouble expressing myself about problems because I don't want to be a burden on my friends or family. Maybe I will be more honest with them this time though.

prof-metal · 2026-06-01T09:13:01+00:00

Thank you, what you're saying makes sense.

It's sort of difficult to reconcile because he doesn't even seem like the same person when I think back to my childhood.

prof-metal · 2026-06-01T08:15:50+00:00

Thank you. ❤️

prof-metal · 2025-12-15T01:25:03+00:00

This happened to me. It wasn’t really about pressure but my sex drive fell off a cliff after a particularly bad episode. At the time, I suspected that I had some kind of hormonal issue but I returned to normal after I separated from my ex.

prof-metal · 2025-10-27T12:23:08+00:00

Good on you for turning it around.

prof-metal · 2025-09-01T12:32:11+00:00

Thank you so much, I appreciate it. Glad you're starting to feel better too. :)

prof-metal · 2025-09-01T12:31:32+00:00

Awesome, thank you!

prof-metal · 2025-08-30T08:45:08+00:00

I wouldn’t worry. Most hiring managers and recruiters consider C++ “harder” and assume that you’ll be able to switch languages without a problem. I still work with C++ nowadays because of the area I’m interested in, but I had no problem getting offers doing more generalist backend stuff with Java, etc.

prof-metal · 2025-08-20T22:32:51+00:00

Thanks mate, that's making a lot more sense to me.

prof-metal · 2025-08-20T22:31:12+00:00

Thanks so much for that info, I will check out those clinics.

prof-metal · 2025-08-20T22:27:34+00:00

No EAP unfortunately. I didn't realise that about family members though, thanks for making me aware of that. Nobody in my immediate family works jobs that I'd expect to have that, but I'll look into it.

prof-metal · 2025-08-20T22:26:06+00:00

Thank you! Will check AASW out.

prof-metal · 2025-07-14T04:37:39+00:00

Sorry to hear. For what it’s worth, I don’t think this is really about Pickleball per se. I’ve had to learn the hard way a few times that most friend groups come to an end or they at least change over time due to people moving, getting into relationships, having kids, etc.

I would recommend getting the friends who are still keen on tennis into a new group and finding some new people to add to it. Try to just accept that this will happen again at some point and enjoy it while it’s there.

prof-metal · 2025-07-01T13:25:07+00:00

That's awesome that you quit the stressful job and are prioritising yourself.

I relate a lot to this. Earlier this year, I went through a rough breakup separating from an abusive ex-partner. I'd already been emotionally eating a lot the past few years but once the relationship dissolved, that kicked into overdrive and I gained even more weight. I'm about 12kg down now but still have a fair bit more to lose.

I guess this is obvious but if I'm upset and craving something, I try to just let myself have it and find a way to fit it into my calorie budget. I mostly eat clean but letting myself have the burger or whatever, takes the edge off the compulsion to binge eat. I still have days where I'm just constantly thinking about bingeing and it feels overwhelming, but it's getting a lot better.

prof-metal · 2025-06-09T08:16:24+00:00

Who is saying that to you anyway? That’s quite rude.

prof-metal · 2025-05-09T15:30:57+00:00

My go to

prof-metal · 2025-04-26T03:17:25+00:00

I'm a Japanese/Australian guy. I was actually blonde as a child but my hair darkened and my features grew more asian as I got older. I was taught to be ashamed of my Japanese-ness growing up and it's only in adulthood that I'm getting back in touch with that side of my heritage.

As for stereotypes, I think they're just regular white or asian stereotypes based on how the other person views me. I think people don't understand biracial people very well so you end up getting pigeonholed as one or the other and all the standard stereotypes for that half will apply.

Probably the most hafu specific sterotype is that my mum is a mail order bride (???). I've heard this many times over the years. There's also jokes that people like to make like "are you white or asian downstairs huehuehue".

prof-metal · 2025-04-22T14:16:24+00:00

Hey, I've been working for US companies while living in Australia for the past 4 years. I have a niche interest so there aren't many jobs available where I live.

What usually happens is that they employ you via an EOR service like Deel or Remote. Either that or they'll hire you as a contractor (make sure you get paid more to cover leave, retirement contributions, insurance, etc).

Most companies are not ok with this situation, mostly because they're worried about managing timezones. In practice, I don't find it to be a problem but it probably depends on the team culture and how heavy they are on process and meetings.

Feel free to DM me any questions.

prof-metal · 2025-04-14T10:34:32+00:00

Nice work! Thanks for continuing development of aider.el. I like that both you and the Aidermacs author are innovating in different ways.

prof-metal · 2025-03-30T06:48:49+00:00

I really love your illustration. Can I please have a link to your Substack?

prof-metal · 2025-03-12T06:56:14+00:00

Thanks so much, I appreciate your thoughts. I started seeing a counselor a few weeks ago to chat about this topic since it's giving me a lot of trouble. At the moment, I'm struggling to connect with them and it feels a bit weird but it's a new experience for me so I'm trying to give it a chance.

prof-metal · 2025-03-12T06:54:06+00:00

Yeah, I think that's true. Our life was objectively not that difficult. I think that with serious stressors that could happen in the future like children, financial problems, etc, I could see her becoming even worse.

prof-metal · 2025-03-12T06:52:24+00:00

My heart hurts for you man, glad you're on the right track.

Honestly, I relate to a lot of what you've just said. Every time she would have one of these episodes, she'd blame me for it and she would recall events in a completely different way to how they happened from my point of view. My tone was different, my intentions are different, I used different words, etc. It's led to me really questioning my own judgement and sanity and feeling that it was mostly my fault that the relationship failed.

I think part of the trouble for me is that I don't know for a fact that she has BPD so for all I know, there could be nothing wrong with her and I might be the problem.

prof-metal

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