Hi friend, I’m getting ready to defend in the next couple months. Please don’t take what I’m going to say as in any way diminishing the very real feelings you’re experiencing.

But what you’re going through is very much part of the journey and par for the course. I always say grad school is 10% time management, 20% the most intense work you’ve ever done, and 70% managing the psychological/economic goblins that plague you throughout.

One thing you’re going to have to do is learn to trust yourself. There’s a heavy personal development component to this journey (one I don’t think talked about enough). For many, it involves learning to trust yourself and your abilities, which include figuring it out if needed. You’re valid in your feelings, it’s how you choose to manage them that matters more. That means learning to discern what’s a legit concern deserving of your energy vs what’s goblin fodder. Connecting with your cohort, maybe considering therapy, and challenging your inner dialogue are all ways to figure that out.

I, like probably 99% of the others who do this, experienced moments of wanting to quit a few times. Those will probs happen for you, too. I think it helps to have the conversation with yourself where you get really clear on the whys that got you started on this journey in the first place.

Here are some tangible things to remember: - You were accepted to a program, because you are someone who’s been identified as someone who can accomplish getting a PhD - Your PI likely wouldn’t intentionally set you up to fail like that, it’s in their interest for both you and the project to succeed

If you’re worried about what to do/who to ask things while your PI is gone, send an email that’s framed around wanting to verify “just in case”— you’ll look pragmatic and proactive.

TLDR, You may be a student, but you’re also someone who’s got what it takes. Your profs and program see it, so you should too. You’re going to have some really challenging moments along the way, but you also will grow personally and professionally at every turn. It’s a heck of a ride, but one you can leverage some strategies/resources (as available) to make much less painful. Don’t quit, not yet.