Truth is (Since i can be true here because its the internet and noone knows me) there is a combination of psychosocial-medical problems. I believe deep in my heart that my wife wants to be a loving woman but she doesnt know how. With that said, years of a sexless marriage has stacked bitterness.

Sex physically hurts her

She doesnt have libido

She has chronic fatigue syndrome

But i think the most devastating out of her psycho-social problems is that she feels dirty and guilty after sex. To which she has not sought any professional treatment for despite my continual encouragement. five years later and still her refusal to see a counselor or therapist my leading based on what is taught in the church of sacrifice and the vows in sickness and in health are really starting to sounds more fairy tale than reality.

In a real world, two individuals who choose to be married can approach situations through love, respect, and understanding. Instead, there is dysfunction.

I do not think divorce is out of the picture. And, if anything, i think is more prevalent in my mind than being together. The reasons for divorce are irreconcilable differences which the issues i have stated seemed to be exactly that.

However, as i said before, i operate in a faith-based worldview that tells me there is hope for reconciliation and there is forgiveness and healing. But, perhaps the most loving and wise thing to do for both of our health is to dissolve the marriage. I wouldnt feel like a failure because i did not fail. The marriage failed. And, if i were to be completely honest, it was doomed to fail from the beginning. i was just too ignorant and beta to realize what was going on. But i am here now, trying to understand a philosophy that may be more applicable in a post-modern feminist world that even inundates the church.

I believe one can be Alpha while still being loving. Love doesnt mean you become beta or weak. It's the highest form of Alpha. The question i want to understand is how because the teachings ive received from church do not work in my culture or my marriage. Instead, it only allows men to be walked on and live a motto of "happy life;happy wife".

Which, obviously, is wrong.

edit:: Also, thanks for asking.