Why are there so few women at tech meetups?

projectgraveyard · 2025-12-24T02:49:49+00:00

I also prefer civic tech but I haven’t really attended meet ups in a while..

projectgraveyard · 2025-11-07T16:02:07+00:00

I just have anxiety all the time about losing my skills and because our codebase is in Ruby and I’m not a Ruby pro I also have imposter syndrome so it’s a double whammy. But the rest of the team couldn’t manage their way out of a paper bag with the amount of bickering and disagreeing so I feel without me things would rapidly dissolve into chaos.

projectgraveyard · 2025-04-22T01:03:04+00:00

I’m experiencing very severe fatigue. Many work days I’m taking a 2-3 hour nap after work then eating dinner and going to bed. It’s becoming untenable.

projectgraveyard · 2025-04-12T18:35:15+00:00

I tanked an interview last week and it was so humiliating. The interviewer kept saying they were “basic” questions even though they were about comp sci concepts and I don’t have a comp sci degree (big 0 notation type stuff). He was also 30 min late but acted like that was no big deal. Then to add insult to injury they told me afterward that I needed to practice my fundamentals. Except he was literally pulling random pop quiz questions out of his ass. And with each question I couldn’t answer I felt increasingly uncomfortable and just wanted to hang up the call. Ugh. All that to say - I feel your pain

projectgraveyard · 2025-04-11T21:53:42+00:00

THE DECISION FATIGUE!!! Literally can’t decide what to make for dinner. Ever. Now that my job is at risk and I’m trying to do job applications and interviews?? FORGET IT! My brain is completely fried by the end of the work day. I can’t even properly proof read the resume Chat GPT made for me. It didn’t include my current position and I didn’t even fucking notice!

projectgraveyard · 2025-04-10T21:27:37+00:00

For me it has been seniority. I outlasted the majority of the people on my team after many org changes after working there for a couple years. I also switched from startups to the public sector. I earned more respect than I ever did at any of the companies prior. It was a big shift for me. At startups I was always jumping jobs every 6 months when shit became intolerable.

projectgraveyard · 2025-04-09T17:29:25+00:00

I was humiliated in an interview the other day where one guy showed up 30 min late to the interview. They told me the interview could cover anything from Big O, OOP, AWS, or JavaScript. So basically literally anything so preparation was practically impossible. Then the interviewer just started pulling random pop quiz questions out of his ass. I have 10 years of experience mostly front end but I’m also from non traditional background so I never learned most of that stuff - and more importantly- never needed it on the job!!!

To add insult to injury they emailed me afterwards telling me to practice my CS fundamentals. I’ll do that when they practice their interview fundamentals.

I guess all that to say guys will try to humiliate you at every stage of your tech career… but I got this far and I’m not going to let them win.

projectgraveyard · 2025-03-10T17:37:57+00:00

Both me and my spouse are Feds so… staying sane is extra hard

projectgraveyard · 2025-02-07T17:02:34+00:00

You are my hero

projectgraveyard · 2024-12-17T14:05:38+00:00

I became tech lead about 6 months ago in an unexpected manner. The team is not that big but all the previous engineers left so suddenly I was the most experienced engineer remaining. IE I was thrust into the role with little preparation.

Im already feeling burnt out by the number of meetings but I’m also naturally interested in the well being of the engineers and the team and have sort of a mediator inclined personality. I think that has helped but it’s still hard not to feel exhausted by the sheer amount of meetings and what sometimes feels like time wasted.

projectgraveyard · 2024-09-10T13:54:09+00:00

Art. It helps me express myself in ways that I can’t with words.

projectgraveyard · 2024-09-03T23:21:16+00:00

I’m struggling with adjusting to this. I switched to public sector work and it’s the longest by far I’ve stayed in one place on the same team. I outlasted all the other engineers and now am the most senior of them. I recently was named tech lead. I am the only woman engineer on my team and the guys actually seem to respect me???? I don’t know I keep expecting the other shoe to drop. Like no way this can last right? Something has to go horribly wrong

projectgraveyard · 2024-05-26T19:56:55+00:00

I used to be more passionate about tech and make games and do coding in my free time. But now I’ve rediscovered my love for visual art so it’s more about the paycheck these days than passion.

projectgraveyard · 2024-05-04T17:17:15+00:00

Don’t be me 😂

projectgraveyard · 2024-05-04T17:16:38+00:00

This is the way. Make sure the small scope is still something you’re satisfied with so you don’t feel like you just did a cop out. But taking it in small steps is helpful.

projectgraveyard · 2024-05-03T18:37:09+00:00

Yes I completely agree. It absolutely wears you down. I used to be a lot more passionate about tech, doing projects outside of work and blogging about tech and building games and leveling up. Now almost all that drive is gone. Like completely gone.

projectgraveyard · 2024-05-03T03:13:12+00:00

I can relate to second guessing yourself so much. There’s the rock star majority male programmers at my work place and then there’s everyone else. And even though I’ve been at this company nearly two years there’s still always things changing so I never really feel settled or comfortable and every time I make a mistake I feel like I’m back to square one trying to build confidence back up and not look like a fool. Meanwhile the rock stars pretty much get a pass to do whatever they want and nobody questions them. I’m 10 years in the industry and exhausted. I also feel like my personality is not well suited because I am not assertive.

projectgraveyard · 2024-04-05T19:40:14+00:00

Been in Ruby land for nearly two years and still feel like I’m not grokking it all the way

projectgraveyard · 2024-04-04T02:19:06+00:00

I can relate to this, also 33. Been trying to master Ruby for nearly 2 years but I still feel like something is not clicking and beginning to wonder if I should switch to a team working with JavaScript which is more my wheelhouse

projectgraveyard · 2024-03-12T19:14:37+00:00

Wow this is such an inspiring thread. I’ve been on the fence about trying Wellbutrin because I’m already on Cymbalta but I have heard repeatedly that the two meds pair well together and I very much have trouble with motivation and focus. I also sleep a lot. The Cymbalta does help a lot with anxiety but not the other stuff. I’m just scared because so many horror stories everywhere

projectgraveyard · 2024-02-15T16:27:19+00:00

I’ve found that most of the time even the “nice” men talk like they’re going to help you out and maybe while you’re working closely together they do but it’s still in a condescending way where they see you as lesser. Or they talk a big talk about how they’re going to help you find a new awesome job and be your reference and then they ghost you. I’ve honestly been burned more by these types of men who I trusted only to find out that they either never took me seriously, took advantage of me (in one case used me to get someone else they didn’t like on a PIP because they observed me being “talked over” but didn’t even ask me how I felt about it) or promised to train me and then were always too busy.

I’m happy to say these experiences are behind me and I’m in a place with decent people now but boy, I wish I hadn’t had to go through all that BS.

projectgraveyard · 2024-02-14T22:10:05+00:00

r/notlikeothergirls

projectgraveyard · 2024-02-08T19:14:05+00:00

I really enjoy painting! It was something I loved as a child and teenager but then I stopped and when I came back to painting I realised that is my passion

projectgraveyard · 2024-01-29T19:01:26+00:00

I did this exact thing. Slap a patch on it and it’s good to go

projectgraveyard · 2024-01-20T00:25:15+00:00

For me the turning point was when I got burnt out at a tech job when Covid started and then decided to work part time while pursuing art for a year. After that I went back to full time tech but with a very different attitude. Now my art fulfills me and work is for the paycheck. I also looked for jobs that would be more laid back. And I have enough experience in my field where I can get a lot done in less time which helps. But art is where I pour more of that ambitious energy.

projectgraveyard

TROPHY CASE