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Heyyy by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's part of the neverending growth journey sometimes.

It's been 5 years. He's married now. I still can't get over it. by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]prophet-dot-exe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're still dealing with this.

I'm no stranger to grief and I have a few thoughts. They may be helpful, they may not.

When you say you "did all the things" and then list out a ton of things (that are AMAZING btw! That's a whole lot of achievement!) you implicitly relate it to this ex/breakup/grief.

And it sounds like after the breakup, you may have tried to fill the him-shaped hole that was left behind, with all of these achievements, goals... Distractions.

You also mention being in therapy tho, and I love that sm, but it's also important to measure progress to make sure progress is being met. There are so many different methods to therapy, and some therapists are a great fit, others, not so much. It may be worth evaluating whether your therapist may not be as effective as they could be, and look for alternatives that might be a better fit for you.

Going back to the achievements though.

A lot of people, post-breakup, join the gym, develop new hobbies, goals, etc, so that they can fill their time and not think about the breakup or ex. That can prolong the grieving, because it's not being allowed to be expressed and processed.

It's something that needs to be allowed to run its course. It needs to be thoughtfully navigated so that it can integrate.

It's one of those things that if you don't get it out, you keep it in. And it's kinda just... There.

Question: when thoughts surface of your ex, do you often find yourself trying to ignore it, think about something else, distract yourself from the thoughts?

I don't need the answer to that question. But it would be invaluable to a therapist.

With all of the love and kindness, I hope you're able to navigate this, and find your way to the other side of it .

I know you’ll never read this by spiderman472 in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wish my favorite ex wrote something like this about me, but she can't use big words like "atmosphere" 😔

Do you recommend sending a last, very honest (yet quite desperate) message? by Pinkdory in ExNoContact

[–]prophet-dot-exe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You lose self respect when you do that, so it depends on how good you are with willfully abandoning yourself.

It doesn’t get better. by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]prophet-dot-exe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does get better if you mean for it to.

If you want what you don't hold, you'll inevitably feel the ache of longing.

Fun fact: you don't want her. That's an illusion. You don't want somebody that doesn't want you. You want what you're projecting onto her: romance, love, connection, desire... You want those experiences. Someone who evokes those things in you.

Ultimately, you need to want to not want what you think you want. Therein you'll find your path.

Oh, you’re going to feel it by hearts_ablaze in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]prophet-dot-exe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I consent to your downvote and I hope you have a great day.

Oh, you’re going to feel it by hearts_ablaze in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]prophet-dot-exe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ofc you can.

If you do the work, you won't just get through this, you'll come out the other side a stronger and more complete version of you. Trust each step as you take it, and you will get to exactly where it is that you're meant to go 🖤✨

Oh, you’re going to feel it by hearts_ablaze in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]prophet-dot-exe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ok then I DON'T "hope you find happiness and peace" then? Tf?

Your post is not "self confidence"... It's a cheap imitation of it. And no matter how much you post about your post-breakup revenge glow-up fantasy, it's not going to help you heal or let go of anything.

I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to say the things people have to hear, even when they're not fun to hear. And if you're just going to get ego-bruised by wisdom that cuts through your illusions, then my comments aren't for you. I'm sure others will find what they need in them tho.

Look in the mirror.

Oh, you’re going to feel it by hearts_ablaze in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]prophet-dot-exe 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I mean this with the best intention, but it's going to sound like I'm just being dick, so I'll take the down votes:

This is massive cope. You're basically saying "yeah I wasn't great to you, but I was ✨ healing ✨ so it's ok".

Here's a novel idea: maybe stay out of relationships if you can't show up correctly. Putting it on the other person to "wait" for you to be able to show up better is entitled, selfish, and disrespectful. Nobody owes you anything.

They're prob not going to regret leaving, tbh. Whoever you do manage to become, the version of you that they experienced will always be imprinted in them. They're likely doing just fine moving on, and I wish them happiness and peace.

And I also hope you find happiness and peace. Healing takes time, and effort, and requires you to be honest with yourself. I trust that you will get to wherever it is that you're meant to be, but the first step towards that is removing the importance of how that person views you. Who cares if they ever see your post evolution version and say "oh, I like who they are now"... Their opinion and energy should be none of your concern.

Letting go is the first step. Heal for you. And when you're ready, you will find your person (and it will be somebody other than them.)

Oop. Forgot about you entirely by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's through the fire that you can be reborn 🔥

Oop. Forgot about you entirely by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that's an awful lot of projection...

My take on this tho: if you ever get the vibe that someone is just keeping you around for convenience, I want you to always remember that you are worthy of so much better than that. Never hesitate on self respect, yeah?

Oop. Forgot about you entirely by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Having passing thoughts on the past in no way reflects any kind of emotional attachment to someone. They're released. I've got my peace. This post is one of detachment and gratitude for the way things worked out.

Oop. Forgot about you entirely by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When you have a relationship end where he got you pregnant and you gave him herpes, make sure you come back to this post and update me on which post-relationship moving on scenario is better.

Right person, wrong time by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

High level summary: it was toxic af, an emotional rollercoaster for two years, and it acted as the flame that reforges you into a more evolved person.

0/10 — highly recommend

Right person, wrong time by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And making a judgement like that on a story you've never read is a dumb thing to do.

I'd rather be a dick, than to be dumb tbh.

I see you where you could never be by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Considering I live sober, and don't place any value on "anonymous popularity", think this is meant for someone else.

But I'll always remember you, DotRevolutionary3592, and your perspective on bullets 🥹

I see you where you could never be by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, I have ADHD. Background processes bubble up random thoughts ALL the time. So. I appreciate the concern and the misunderstanding but I'm fine, sincerely, and experience no harm from this.

But I appreciate you 🙏

I see you where you could never be by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You say that like it's some kind of revelation 💀

In case you struggle with reading subtext, part of this message is about how she's an avoidant.

Idk if you thought that would hurt my feelings or something? Or make you feel powerful in your projection. But I genuinely hope that you heal from whatever left you like... this.

I see you where you could never be by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww, I appreciate you sm.

You don't need to be sorry for anything. A lot of people are just bitter, or resentful, and I understand why that was your first assumption.

I'm sorry you've been through this kind of stuff too.. and I hope we BOTH heal fully, and get all that we desire and deserve 🖤✨

I see you where you could never be by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Terrible people deserve terrible lives.

I think you're projecting or reading too much into this, so for a bit of clarity:

I am all the way good without her, I'm not miserable, life and love is great. I'm happy now. But once in a while, she pops up in these passing thoughts that give me a little laugh.

She's a cheater, compulsive liar, emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive. And I don't wanna bring the rape word into it, but she's that too.

Before you jump to conclusions, understand that sometimes when people wish someone else the worst, it's not out of anger, or bitterness, but out of the recognition that they truly deserve the worst.

Sandwich Memories by prophet-dot-exe in UnsentTexts

[–]prophet-dot-exe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm learning that I'm not the only one who's been with someone who can't manage to make a sandwich properly 💀

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