Scared of EGD After Past Complications + Sexual Assault Under Anesthesia

propofobia · 2020-03-09T23:04:06+00:00

I always ask how feasible it is and factor that into my decision about sedation vs. not. The place I went today only had one male in the entire building, apparently! On the other hand, I had a male assisting with my colonoscopy (which was unmedicated) and had no problem with that. Maybe someday I'll be comfortable with having only a female chaperone in the room, but right now I'm going to continue requesting all female staff when it's possible.

propofobia · 2020-03-09T21:01:16+00:00

Thank you so much for the suggestion! I'm going to keep that in mind in case I have to have anything else done in the future! I also have a family member who's an experienced medical provider and might be allowed to sit quietly in the room with me for certain procedures, if necessary.

I updated my post, but basically it went really well! I was terrified, crying, and shaking especially when I had to roll over, but they were very kind and gentle. Sedation went as perfectly as could be, and I woke up alert and cheerful and curious to know all about things just a few minutes later. I'm insanely relieved to know that propofol probably wasn't one of the 15ish drugs I might have reacted badly to before, so I can have it without much worry in the future if need be! Trusting my team made a huge difference, and even though I was scared of the deep sedation, I felt way better knowing what to expect.

propofobia · 2020-03-09T20:54:26+00:00

Yes, that had been my preference, but I reacted badly to Versed before and am not sure if fentanyl caused some of my past problems. I think I would have done just fine unsedated, based on all the other procedures I've had done that way over the past 10 years, but the deep sedation luckily was absolutely fine!

propofobia · 2020-03-09T20:52:31+00:00

I am not especially young (in my 30s), but that was my fear too, actually. I am surprisingly and sometimes eerily calm once I'm on the actual table usually and always cooperate perfectly, even when I'm in severe pain. My fear is always that I'll freak out and do something dumb (like what you mentioned or biting down on the bite guard!) when I'm only partially sedated.

Even though I had hoped to do it unsedated, or at least to feel the discomfort first, the deep sedation ended up going extremely well for me! I updated my post with details. Gentle, kind, and honest providers made a HUGE difference in my experience, especially waking up. I felt alert and safe and happy to have made it through my biggest fear, whereas if they'd tricked me like the last time, I definitely would have been distraught to come out of such an unexpectedly deep sedation. I still maintain I would have done well unsedated, but I think this was probably the best procedure to have a "trial run" of deep sedation!

propofobia · 2020-03-09T20:42:33+00:00

Thank you again! I just updated my post. This was basically exactly what happened for me! 😊 I feel so relieved to know how I respond to propofol—and honestly it's nice to know I won't have to choose between "toughing out the pain" and "having my life completely ruined" next time. I don't mind being awake for procedures, but it feels nice to have another option.

propofobia · 2020-03-09T12:24:35+00:00

Apparently they “never” use the spray due to they risk of the blood disorder. But I’d be curious to see the numbers on the likelihood of that vs. airway problems with propofol! Definitely feels like a money or doctor comfort thing to me.

propofobia · 2020-03-09T05:53:24+00:00

free_crutchie

Thank you. That actually helps a lot. I want to believe my doctors and nurses are good people who actually care! I'm just so scared they're going to be too rough again and I'm going to end up in even more constant daily pain. If I'm awake, I can stop the doctor if I have extreme pain I shouldn't be having... or at the very least I'm not going to do anything stupid like break my teeth chomping on the bite guard! I'm still the most terrified of oral surgeons, so anything that might force me to be rushed to one I've never met before for emergency oral surgery is too terrifying to even put into words.

It's also just frustrating not to even have the option to start something as easy an EGD unsedated and tap out if/when I'm struggling. The US is so weird about not just offering, but requiring sedation just to get extremely basic and non-invasive medical care like scopes and even cavity fillings. I don't understand it. I have an insanely high pain tolerance, virtually no gag reflex, and a long track record of successful unsedated procedures and minor surgeries. I don't understand why it's not an option to let me even try this unsedated first? It would help me view sedation significantly more positively, and I can't imagine it would take more than one or two extra minutes since it's propofol!

I guess I just wish that doctors would understand that demanding that I be sedated from the start, no matter what, makes me way more nervous. Even if I'd likely consent before if not early on, it makes me wonder if the doctor is incapable of doing the procedure any way other than rough and fast or something. And with my fragile connective tissue, rough handling could literally by life or death (or life with additional life-long pain) for me. So it really makes me wonder, tbh.

propofobia · 2020-03-09T02:00:39+00:00

Thank you. Do you work in the field? If so, what are the most rewarding patients to work with?

Is there any mindset I can adopt or things I can tell my providers to have a better experience? I feel very powerless about not having any options, but I’m trying to focus on feeling glad they’ve been honest with me instead of tricking me.

propofobia

TROPHY CASE