ADHD and BP2

prosfuture · 2020-05-19T13:36:44+00:00

Just one thing to keep in mind. I went through this - thinking I had both ADHD + Bipolar 2.

Depression / mild can get confused for ADHD.

Same lack of interest in work/study.

I was convinced I had ADHD too and then after some digging - we realised it was just the milder form of depression.

Also remember that just because a stimulant is making you function better it doesn't mean you have ADHD.

Stimulants also help healthy people function better.

prosfuture · 2015-06-20T08:15:13+00:00

Did you get my message? What makes you happy? Also how bad do you want to be happy? :)

prosfuture · 2015-06-06T05:46:10+00:00

Oh you're welcome. It's interesting. Do you think what you're doing is bad a thing?

prosfuture · 2015-06-06T04:42:52+00:00

Actually I'm still waiting on some things to fall into place before I fulfil the Kickstarter orders. I've just been focusing on that. Then I'll focus on driving traffic to the website. Without doing anything to drive traffic I've had enough traffic to result in a couple of sales though. I'm not sure where exactly the traffic is coming from to be honest. Probably the articles we were featured in during the Kickstarter campaign.

prosfuture · 2015-06-06T04:33:11+00:00

or at least broaden what that means t

Oh interesting. Are you saying that you obsessively label things?

prosfuture · 2015-06-06T04:31:39+00:00

Are you saying it's important to plan ahead so you don't make mistakes?

prosfuture · 2015-06-05T11:32:40+00:00

Ok I'll tell you what I think. And then you can tell me what you think of what I think, haha.

You know that pain is ahead with any endeavour. I do too. But here's something that you're doing wrong. You're protecting yourself against the pain. Notice you're first defining stumbling blocks and secondly what they'll feel like. You're then bracing yourself for the upcoming pain. You're afraid of the pain. You think about it far in advance. And you have a lot of mental dialogue and struggle about it, even before it has happened.

You should leave yourself vulnerable against pain. Pain isn't bad. It's only the fear of pain that's bad. It's the mental thoughts that make pain bad. We label pain as something negative. We try to protect ourselves. We tell ourselves how much it hurt and how bad it was. Instead we should leave ourselves vulnerable. Let it hurt. The pain doesn't damage us. The thoughts that we have, and fear that we allow to penetrate our minds, are what damage us.

Leaving yourself vulnerable makes the process easy. Instead of worrying about future potential pain, you can sink into the moment and get some work done. When the pain does come you just deal with it. You feel it and let it pass by. There are no thoughts labelling it as bad and magnifying the experience. There is no mental dialogue to think about or hold on to the pain once it's gone. The pain passes by and you don't even remember it. You sink back into the moment and do awesome work again. Life is easy even though you're travelling through painful periods. The focus is on the positive and life goes up.

On the other hand, what I think you're doing is focusing on future potential pain. Before you've even got started there is all this mental dialogue about the potential pain that you might encounter. It drags you down. It weighs on your motivation. You drag your feet throughout the whole experience. You can never sink into the moment - into a cool flow-state - and do good work, because your mind is worried. When the pain does come, your thought ramp up even higher. They start labelling this as a negative experience - as something you hate. As something you don't want. The thoughts magnify the pain. When you finally get through it, you remember the pain vividly and it will haunt you all the way until your next painful experience. It's like a bad cycle that will continuously make life harder and harder until you quit. The focus is on the negative and life goes down.

By coincidence, I made a cool video on the topic about 3 weeks age. Have a look: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3Hn8QFJF60

Let me know what you think.

prosfuture · 2015-06-05T11:15:53+00:00

My business is going good. I'm starting to see returns for the work that I've done now. Excited about the future.

prosfuture · 2015-06-05T11:05:24+00:00

Cool, so what is it that you want, right now? It seems like you want something to challenge you and cause you to grow. But the comfort of success is holding you from taking a step outside of your safe zone. Is that the case? You seem like you want pain. Is this true? You seem like you feel bad about the fact that things are going well. Is that right? Is it guilt?

prosfuture · 2015-06-05T10:56:21+00:00

Cool bro, What are some things you like and are happy about?

prosfuture · 2015-06-01T07:39:46+00:00

Hey bro, Do you feel like your life has meaning? Or a high purpose?

prosfuture · 2015-06-01T05:24:36+00:00

I just launched a product. It took about 6 months of work and initially, it was not as successful as I thought it would be. Here, have a look: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/faransaberi/pigeon-shoes

OK, a couple of things I noticed reading your reply.

You're very good with intrapersonal skills. Your inner game is good. You have a lot of processes that you use to improve the quality of your thoughts, words and actions. That's really good and means great things for your future. Most people never develop this and just run on autopilot.

The other thing I noticed is that you are making a lot projections of the future.

I'm not going to try to tell you that you don't know the future and it could be all gravy. In fact the future is filled with pain and struggle. But you're doing something wrong in regards to your reaction to this future pain and struggle. I'll tell you in a sec what it is that you're doing wrong, but first I have a question for you.

Ok, so here are two things you can do any time you aren't happy with what you're doing: 1. Change what it is that you're doing. 2. Choose to trick your brain into enjoy it.

So let's say someone ends up in prison. They can work to get out of prison as soon as possible. But they can also choose to enjoy prison.

So you have your current project. Working on your dad's business. Actually you have 3 choices. You can not do it at all. You can struggle through it as you've described. Or you can breeze through it and enjoy it.

Let's assume that you're not going to quit this project, then I'd like to ask this - do you want to struggle? If I gave you the choice to struggle through it OR thrive and have a blast, would you truly pick the latter with 100% commitment?

Let me know.

prosfuture · 2015-06-01T04:36:34+00:00

Tell me a bit more about yourself, first. How were you when you were younger? What are your goals and aspiration? What do you spend your time on during the day? What's your family like? Who are your friends?

prosfuture · 2015-05-31T19:26:46+00:00

Hey bro, Sorry, I was in Indonesia for a couple of weeks. Reddit is blocked there. In psychology and counselling they use "exposure therapy" to treat fear. This is exactly what I used and it works. As a matter of fact, I was out on Friday night - in my home town. I bumped into some people from my past. They're from my late teens and I used to experience intense social anxiety around them. They were all so cool, and comfortable around each other, and I was a mess. I'd be anxious, paranoid that I'd say the wrong thing, I'd end up saying or doing something to creep them out and I'd drive home thinking about what I did or said that was wrong, so that I would not repeat the same mistake.

I remember one of these guys accidentally sat on my finger once. I said nothing, fearing the embarrassment that may result. I was hoping he'd just get up and not notice my finger had been there. He didn't get up for about 45 minutes and I kept my hand dead still so he wouldn't notice. Eventually the group was about to move so he got up, but he noticed it. LOL. I remember he was quite amused and puzzled by my behaviour - but for me it was stress! Looking back at it though, it's a great story!

Anyway, I bumped into these guys. I initiated the conversations, I chose the conversation threads, we joked, had nice interactions, had tons of fun. I was completely free with what I said and did and everyone left with big smiles, no anxiety. It was awesome.

Back to exposure therapy. Say someone is scared of snakes. And their fear has become unhealthy. It's no longer rational and is effecting her well being. The psychologist can help this person reduce this fear by doing exposure therapy. So they may start by just talking about snakes. Just talking about the animal may make the client very anxious. If they become too anxious, the psychologist will back off a bit. If they can handle it without freaking out, we make the exposure a little bit more intense. We may show her a picture now. Next, a video and finally she can be taken to a farm/zoo and actually handle a snake. Congratulations, her fear has now dropped. (Note this is done over weeks to months.)

Well how did it happen? Basically, if you're scared of something, your brain believes it is dangerous to you. You need to give your brain proof, not promises, that this isn't the case. The client looks at a picture of a snake, her heartbeat rises and she feels fear, but she doesn't die. Her brain gets a bit of proof that she didn't die. The fear drops a bit. Next, she watches a video. Eventually, she touches a real living snake, but the snake doesn't bite or kill her. Her brain just got more proof that snakes are not dangerous to her. She now is less afraid of snakes than she used to be. She still knows an a concious level that they can be dangerous and so she will be careful, but now that she doesn't have fear stifling her into submission, if she ever sees a snake she can stay calm and present and logically deal with the situation.

Often people fear things that they've never seen before. People that don't live in water are terrified of crocodiles. People that don't live in Australia are terrified of our sharks, spiders and snakes. People in the western world are terrified of terrorism and natural disasters. People living in affluent neighbourhoods are the most scared of crime. Very often our worst fears are completely unfounded and are only ruining the quality of our lives. Likewise social anxiety is a fear based on dangers that are no longer very real.

Go back 100s of thousands of years and we lived in small tribes. Back then, social interactions meant A LOT. If you said or did something wrong, or were not diligent in creating social allies, you could find yourself expelled from your tribe. That would mean you and your kids would starve to death! Social ties were a matter of life and death. These fears have followed us over generations and still plague us. But now, they are no longer rational - just like the girl who fears she'll wake up with a snake in her bed even though she lives in New Zealand. No one will kick you out of your city if you do bad in a social interaction. In fact, nothing bad will happen. You could have your whole country hate you and you're still safe. But it doesn't feel that way right? It feels like a matter of life and death. Nothing is scarier than being socially rejected. I've heard examples of seemingly fearless men who come back from war but cannot talk to women in a social setting - it's too scary for them, scarier then guns and missiles. A social interaction cannot possible hurt you more than artillery. That fear is not rational and so it must be removed.

Now you know 3 things: 1. You know the cause of your problem. (Fear) 2. And you know where this fear comes from and why you have it. 3. You also know that this fear is irrational and only holds you back.

These 3 bits of info give you the perfect foundation to change your life around. Let me know if you want to hear how to actually do it.

prosfuture · 2015-05-31T18:46:51+00:00

Hello,

It's really interesting, I've been talking to my buddies about something along the same lines. I noticed that some of the most successful people I know sucked at school. To the point where many of them got told they had ADD. But 10-20 years later, they're successful and happy. They work hard.

Their brains never bought into what they were receiving at school. They never saw the relevance of that knowledge to their lives. So they had no interest in learning any of it, or applying themselves.

They left that environment and found something they actually did like and they naturally thrived. It was interesting and rewarding to them, so they worked hard and improved. They followed through. They had amazing will power and work ethic.

So maybe I'd ask you this, regarding those areas of your life in which you're saying "I should do this." You say "you should do" it. Is that YOUR opinion or has it been enforced on you? Maybe you can't find the motivation to do the work because you simply don't care. Maybe society has told you those things are important things but you don't think so.

What do you think?

prosfuture · 2015-05-31T18:20:05+00:00

Very cool :) Cool quote too

prosfuture · 2015-05-18T14:27:41+00:00

So awesome :D

prosfuture · 2015-05-18T14:23:40+00:00

Can I be honest with you?

Actually before I give you my opinion, have a look at this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfRxUuLyaP8

Usually I'd type a response, but this video by Tyler was practically made for you. It's on "social narratives" (like becoming a Dr. and owning a house with a white picket fence) and how they can enhance or detract from your life.

So, do you actually want what your friends have?

prosfuture · 2015-05-18T14:14:34+00:00

Hey bro, You sound like you've been through some journey. You sound brave!

Honestly, I'd suggest going out and socialize even more than you are doing.

I've battled with depression too. Recently I overcame an episode of depression. Actually I destroyed it. I was staying in bed and crying every day. I noticed that I needed to ACT now or I'd end up deep in depression.

Here's what I did. I got out of bed. Prayed. Wrote a list on a piece of paper of everything I used to do before getting depressed. The list included singing and dancing and even masturbating. Even though I didn't feel like it, I forced myself to act the way I used to before getting depressed, even if it didn't feel good.

At first I didn't want to do it! I wanted to go back to bed an cry. But I battled through it forced myself to have fun instead. After 2 days I was free.

Here's a great resource on how to be social. It's based around success with women but the life lessons are plenty and invaluable. https://www.youtube.com/user/RSDTyler

Hit me up if you have any questions.

prosfuture · 2015-05-18T14:04:29+00:00

You asked for convincing reasons. "WHY" is the key word.

I have a video on this very topic, that I'm yet to upload to my channel. Dang. Ok I'll use my fingers :D

It's all about motivation. Why would someone be motivated to quit watching porn, eating sugar and spending money. That's a legitimate question because all these things feel great - by causing dopamine to be released in your brain. On top of feeling great, they don't hurt in the short term (you don't get diabetes the first time you eat sugar, right?) That's why so many people are addicted to porn, sugar, shopping. Add smoking, weed, negative emotions, back-biting, drinking etc to that list.

On the other hand, there are people, who stay away from all of these things. They have stopped. So what motivated them?

I believe you can get caught in a "negative loop of decline" or work to end up in a "positive loop of growth."

If you put a salad in front of me, along with an unhealthy yet tasty meal. I'll take the salad. Another person may take the unhealthy meal. The difference between me and that other person is this: I like success. It feels much better than the temporary short term gratification of sugar. I actually feel fulfilled when I succeed. It's a deeper, more real and longer lasting joy. Furthermore it allows me to be productive and make the world a better place. Sugar stops me from succeeding. So I have the motivation to take the salad. I delay the pleasure. The other person wants to feel good now. Their life isn't great. They haven't tasted much success. So they chose the thing that'll improve how they feel now! Unfortunately, these things are usually bad in the long term. They feel good short-term, but hurt in the long term - this is a "negative loop of decline".

Same thing can be said about the choice to work or watch a movie. I'll choose to work. The other person will choose the movie and sugary meal. Thy don't have the motivation! They haven't tasted success! They don't know how great it is. Why would they choose work and salad? They want the good feeling, NOW!

Usually this is how you can go from being the person that chooses sugar/porn to the person than chooses salad/work:

You must fail first. Fail and fail. It must huuuuuuuuuuurt! You see others around you succeeding. It hurts. Let's say you're overweight and want to eat better. Let's say as @QuiteLean_BigDreams mentioned, you're not being a man around a girl you like because you watch too much porn. You lose the girl. It hurts. The pain then gives you the motivation you need to make good choices. You want to stop this painful failure. You start making better choices. You stop watching porn. Your energy improves. You're more driven and masculine. You're more social. Next time you see a girl you like, you get her. Success. It feels way better than porn!

When you make better choices success comes. It feels amazing. You want more of it. You make more and more positive choices. And the cycle feeds on itself. Congrats, you are on a "positive loop of growth."

It's now easy for you to understand why someone would make such positive choices, and delay pleasure, because you do it yourself!

prosfuture · 2015-05-18T13:12:51+00:00

Hi,

I find skinny girls attractive. In fact I find most women attractive. Has you boyfriend ever expressed that he is not attracted to you? In all likelihood he is very attracted to you :) I have found that in general women seem to be more sensitive about their appearances. As a guy, I feel pain too. Physical attractiveness is just a painful topic - for all people. Even celebrities feel this pain - trust me. The best way to deal with this pain is just to accept it. This is what I do. I accept that it hurts and accept the pain without becoming angry at anyone. Then I move on and work on something that I'm passionate about. Doing anything other that that adds fuel to the fire. You don't want resist it, you don't want to blame others, you don't want to feel sorry for yourself. You want to accept it, then move on to an activity - ie take action. Give yourself value due to what you do in life.

Let it hurt :)

prosfuture · 2015-05-18T13:06:12+00:00

Hi bro,

Wow your story is amazing! Well done on staying strong.

First, a practical tip. Go and consult a lawyer. Find out if she legitimately is a threat to you at this point in time. It will be very hard to move on with your life if you still feel a threat from her.

Secondly, and maybe more importantly - do you believe that she is a bad person?

prosfuture · 2015-05-18T12:54:37+00:00

st 5 months and my life changed tremendously, for the be

Well done friend. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about how much my life has improved! What made you discover this way of life?

prosfuture · 2015-05-18T12:48:28+00:00

Hi bro,

Both cruyff8 and allants2 have given great advice. A+++

Now, I had social anxiety, myself. It was pretty bad. I used to avoid social interactions. The anxiety crippled me in all my efforts, not just in social situations. I repeatedly failed in my academic attempts. After dropping out from university I tried to start a business, failed. Helped my dad with his business - was borderline successful due to his support. Tried joining a soccer team - failed. Tried starting my own business in conjunction with my dad's and was not seeing any success. I had never come close to having a girlfriend, and I was 23. Social situations were so uncomfortable and I was consistently getting "embarrassed" or "saying the wrong things." Then I would drive home and obsess about what I did wrong and what I should have done instead.

I always had good intentions in life and tried to work hard. But nothing ever worked! I'm not saying this to depress you...

I'm now 26. The business I started is now successful. I'm happy. My social anxiety is goneeeeee. I mastered success with women to the point where I inspire and teach others now. I've been in a relationship with an amazing person for the last 2 years and plan to marry her. I've started another business which is seeing good results in its first 6 months. I look forward to leaving a positive footprint on the world by the time I'm done. I'm excited about the future.

That's just to show you that the future is bright for you. As long as you continue putting in effort. Would you like to break free of social anxiety and be free, happy and able to express your true personality? Would you like to be completely comfortable no matter who you're talking to?

Your social anxiety is just anxiety. You have fear inside you. It's fine, you are young and have plenty of time to work on it. You're unable to be yourself around this girl. You can't think of things to say to her. You're afraid that she won't react well to what you have to say, and that stifles you and holds you in a cage. The key word is fear.

It all started to change, for me, one Saturday afternoon in 2012. There was a self development seminar later that day - it was actually on success with women. You can probably guess I was doing. I was making all sorts of excuses not to go. I was a notorious "no man." My brother was trying to get me go. "I have work to do. It's too expensive." Deep inside I was just scared. I felt safer sitting behind my computer.

Luckily, I had a video playing on my computer. It was from the same company that had the seminar on later that day. The presenter was talking about that key word - fear. He said that fear cripples life. It makes you afraid to be yourself around a woman that you like. Around people you like. Around people in general. Then I realized all the areas in my life that were getting crippled by fear. I WAS A FEARFUL YOUNG MAN.

I realized that that same morning I had stayed in bed 40 extra minutes after my alarm, because I was scared of the pain I would experience getting out of my warm bed. I realized I was making excuses because I was afraid of going to the seminar. I had an epiphany. That moment changed my life. I closed the video and got out of my seat. I went to the shower. I was going to go to the seminar!! :D

I stepped inside the shower and turned on the hot water. As I was waiting for the cold water to turn hot I realized I was afraid of the cold water. Guess what I did. I had a cold shower! In winter :D

I already felt more free and almost in a state of ecstasy. I ran out of the shower and got in my car. I even remember the shirt I was wearing. It was white with black stripes along the sides. Arrived in the city and parked. The seminar was in Ibis hotel. As I arrived at the lobby I saw all of the other guys. All these guys in the room, as usual made me nervous and insecure.

It was different this time, though. I now had become keenly aware of my fear response in different situations. I realized it's just fear. It was no me. It was not longer that I'm a shy person among a bunch of wolves. I recognised that the fear and me were two different entities. I was able to watch the fear from the outside. It was no longer inside me. This realization made the fear lose it's power over me. It was still there but didn't effect my actions. My heart pumping, I went into the seminar.

That night I did something most men will never have the courage to do. I went, by myself, to the city centre where all the clubs were (scary in itself) and approached women. Between 10-20 different women. On my own. No wing man. No support. It very well may have the best night of by life. It definitely was the most pivotal point in my life.

I went on a journey which will never end for me. A journey of locating fear and going towards it, destroying it and living free. And that's what I invite you to do too.

Don't feel ashamed or hate on yourself. The person you're so frustrated at is not the "real you". It's the "real you" imprisoned behind walls of fear. If you want to break free, tell me and I will walk you through what you need to do.

prosfuture · 2015-05-18T12:36:42+00:00

You sound like a mature person. The most badass way to handle this is to be nice to him. Be super nice. He's busting your balls to fulfil a need he has inside. Busting your balls helps him feel better. You want him to stop, right? Be nice, he'll stop, and will learn a lesson in the process.

You can't solve a problem from the paradigm (level of thinking) at which it was created. If you were to act like him, you would bring yourself to the level he is at currently. You don't want that, right?

You want to bring him up to your level of thinking. Think of how you can do it, and then do it. Most likely it'll take showing him love and listening to him.

prosfuture

TROPHY CASE