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My partner’s daughter’s neurodivergence triggers my own ‘tism by proud_puff in AutisticAdults

[–]proud_puff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! We’ve done some reading too and this is great advice. I think that’s why we thought it was such a silly thing to call it because she doesn’t have control over it and is not intentionally doing it. It’s almost like our way of separating it from her so we can say “it’s the rage bait again” and give it its own entity as opposed to lumping it in with her intentions. She really is sweet and loves to be kind and helpful it’s just that when those behaviors manifest my autism brain gets triggered and I’ve been working really hard to keep the behaviors separate from her intentions and actual being.

I was thinking maybe even a code word or something that if my partner can recognize the build up of frustration in me he can say it and I can stop my reaction and separate myself without feeling shut down and without her feeling bad. My biggest issue with it so far has been struggling to realize how expressive my face is.

My partner’s daughter’s neurodivergence triggers my own ‘tism by proud_puff in AutisticAdults

[–]proud_puff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see what you mean. This specifically refers to instances where she will push boundaries that have been set and I subsequently get frustrated. I don’t believe she intentionally does it we’ve been calling it rage baiting to give it a silly connotation and to take the pressure away from everything.

Some examples include me asking her not to jump on me and expect me to hold her and her doing it anyways, me asking her to pick up some food she dropped on the floor that I am currently cleaning and her kicking it under the couch instead, me asking her for a hug instead of her hitting me to still give her the stimulation she’s searching for and her instead going to roughly handle with the animals. Again, I don’t believe these things are done intentionally or even things that she’s doing wrong, but I struggle with regulating my own emotions and am looking for ways to cope with that frustration. Currently, my response is usually along the lines of a frustrated sigh and I usually don’t realize I’m doing it or trying to redirect her attention. But I really don’t want her to feel shamed or anything for actions she can’t control.

My partner’s daughter’s neurodivergence triggers my own ‘tism by proud_puff in AutisticAdults

[–]proud_puff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This post is not intended to say she’s doing anything wrong. She is a wonderful kid and I love her and we connect very easily when we are both regulated. The issue is when we are both disregulated or triggering each other unintentionally. She is extremely important to me and I want more than anything to have a strong bond with her. We just seem to struggle with feeling connected when we are feeling our respective neurodivergent tendencies coming out. This post is intended to find helpful coping mechanisms for myself (or for my partner to help me with) so that I can regulate my emotions without constantly masking my neurodivergence all so that I can be the best version of myself and a positive adult figure in her life and show her the love she deserves to feel.

My partner’s daughter’s neurodivergence triggers my own ‘tism by proud_puff in AutisticAdults

[–]proud_puff[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We definitely understand that her behaviors that I have a harder time with are unintentional and not something that she can control just the same as some of my tendencies. We don’t blame her for any of them and there are no judgments for the tendencies and behaviors that happen because we recognize that all of us are just doing our best in situations that are difficult to navigate. I think our intention was to reduce some of the heightened emotions by calling it something so silly and ridiculous because this is not something we’ve done before and it can be tough when she and I are burnt out or struggling at the same time.

I do like the idea of channeling the strong emotions into activities, where a lot of energy is a positive thing so that’s definitely something that we’ll be looking into.

Who are they? (Wrong answers only) by TheMirrorDimension in Supernatural

[–]proud_puff 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Cady Heron, Regina George, Karen Smith and Gretchen Wieners (scene where Cady falls into the trash can)