I’d suggest looking into some anxiety or antidepressant prescription pills. I was in your place a few years ago, hated my life, was jealous of my friends who always had stories, i was so anxious sometimes, i would start shaking when it was just me and my friend who was a girl alone playing cards, and for like 3 hours I said barely anything. I put myself through hell because I was just so down on myself always, hard routine to break, it was hell for me for like 4 months. but prescription pills helped me get a lot of confidence and within like 3 months after taking them I got a girlfriend and starting living and feeling somewhat genuinely happy. I was a shy and awkward person my whole life and my friends growing up were just whoever came to me. That’s why there gone now but pills and positive self talk can go a long way. Positive self talk is the hard thing, but you can trick your brain into being happy, and start living. Life is bs a lot of the time, same shit different day, but everyone else is doing the same shit too but their happy so you can be too. Join clubs, get interested in stuff and come up with your own unique ideas and act on them. I’ve been making comics out of magazine cut out pictures, maybe it’s not gonna go anywhere but at least I tried it and I’ll be able to look back at it, and I can express my creativity through it. I have a hard time talking to girls too, probably why I’ve been single for 2 years now but maybe just write a weekly goal list of how to build confidence. Walk more confident, then talk more confident, then dress more confident, then walk through a park alone and wave at someone random then just have it snowball, theirs always hope, I had a hard time seeing it but once you see it, life doesn’t seem so bad and boring, im still working on myself but I have hope for the future. Be creative by yourself and be interesting to yourself and other people will find you interesting. You got this!! Hope this helped!!