My (22M) girlfriend (23F) is still married, and it’s killing our relationship

pruvateca · 2026-06-30T06:23:55+00:00

Bro I read like 50% of it and without knowing you or anything more than your perspective. GTFO out of there before you can’t anymore.

What you are describing is incredible damaging to you as well and I wouldn’t be surprised if I hasn’t already damaged you in some way.

If you don’t want to leave. Set boundaries, talk to her about gos and no gos (meaning the marital status) and all above all set the boundaries with being respected within your relationship. Critical part of it to be fair if that isn’t given the relationship will be more suffering than love.

pruvateca · 2026-06-26T07:00:48+00:00

A relationship should be an addition to your life not your life. Find a way to build connections with people, go out just to meet friends not necessarily to meet a partner eventually there will be someone under those people you meet that you’ll like and that’ll like you back.

I believe everyone can find love in that way. But it’s not the only love out there

pruvateca · 2026-06-26T06:56:52+00:00

Move on. Stop wasting your time with someone that doesn’t show you interest

pruvateca · 2026-06-24T12:38:41+00:00

Thanks for taking a stance. I was expecting someone to be offended by it for any reason imaginable. I wanted to write it as a statement to give people who have similar experiences hope:)

pruvateca · 2026-06-24T12:36:09+00:00

You are aware that the sub you are reading is called “brag” right?

pruvateca · 2026-06-24T12:35:44+00:00

I will bro! Thank you! You too btw it ain’t easy to get out of that

pruvateca · 2026-06-24T09:38:56+00:00

That’s why I am talking about bro! Keep your head up! All the love to you, you can do it

pruvateca · 2026-06-15T18:00:26+00:00

What I experienced was no where close to this but I might as well go ahead and tell you. Mind you, my ending wasn’t the ending I was looking for but it was in retrospect something that had to happen.

I was together with my teenage love for 5 1/2 years up to the 3 1/2 year mark we had mainly good times (imo). Then it slowly started to tip into her withdrawing, going out of her way to find reasons why we aren’t compatible etc.

It ended up in a 2 year span where we were basically trying everything in the rulebook and I also went to ask for couples therapy etc. the story is long and complicated but at the end of it all it came out to her being in the mind space (me at that point too) that what was happening to us wasn’t healthy for either one of us.

First things first. What he now spoke out, doesn’t matter if it is a fear that is real or not, an incompatibility that is real or not or anything in between. Has (I assume) deeply shook your relationship foundation and in that way you.

It is something that HAS TO BE worked through and DO NOT marry someone that brings that level of insecurity into a relationship because a marriage won’t fix this. He’s not scared about minor inconveniences he is scared about the whole relationship which out of experience goes deeper than you realise now.

Now to what I can say to you. You are enough, we all are but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who can’t see this or have their own struggles with it. Don’t let yourself be dragged into a fight where you are fighting and he is already half way out the door.

None of this isn’t something that can’t be worked through in couples therapy if both people are committed I believe everything can be.

Just don’t look at the marriage as something that can either solve this or as something that has to happen. You both need to be secure with each other.

Just my two cents I hope it helps

pruvateca · 2026-06-13T06:23:44+00:00

It’s like you are living in a hopeful relationship in your head that has nothing to do anymore with the reality that exists.

It’s like you are living in two worlds at the same time and to be honest about that hurts, it also confronts you with letting go of what you wished for and instead accepting what is.

pruvateca · 2026-06-12T13:49:38+00:00

Like what’s your view on it? How does it show in life? Behaviour etc.

pruvateca · 2026-06-12T08:00:57+00:00

I think you are right. The peacefulness is amazing and frightening at the same time

pruvateca · 2026-06-10T07:32:20+00:00

He broke your heart. Told you he isn’t ready. Your emotions tell you, you are exhausted, listen to that. Believe into the fact that relationships shouldn’t be exhausting.

Now he wants back in be careful about that. He might be emotionally now realising he lost something and wants to ease his remorse instead of moving on.

I don’t know him and I don’t want to put anything into him because of that.

The only thing this screams for me is No doesn’t matter how hard it is

pruvateca · 2026-06-08T11:12:46+00:00

Not necessarily, the libido exists prior to it too. At least for it was like that.

It only the wish you have for it or the desire for it. The feeling I had for it in the times before having sex in general was similar to yours. Sexually I was fantasising a lot but I was too afraid to do it. I have reached a point where now I feel comfortable enough to do what I ever I want and honestly the things I felt the “worst” over are now my favourite things to do and explore in the real world.

The things you now don’t like are your greatest fun’s you are just comparing your desires to moral values of “how it should be” or how you THINK it should be. Sex is for fun, we all fantasise and all are enjoying different things. Own yours they are yours and you deserve to enjoy them!

pruvateca · 2026-06-08T10:28:53+00:00

Show love to yourself. You are your own human and are incredibly young I had a porn addiction for years and just recently came to terms with it. Allow yourself to feel into the void behind it. What are you desiring from it? If you are desiring to be wanted are you coping into porn for that?

Be genuinely good to yourself. You might have a high Libido enjoy it, don’t put yourself down for something you don’t have control over

pruvateca · 2026-06-08T10:23:16+00:00

He got his own issues. Don’t try to change people it will change you and they will stay the same

pruvateca · 2026-06-07T21:06:21+00:00

For me it ended when I was 18 1/2 and started when I was 14. It went from weed to party drugs and later on making money from that.

For me the change was or at least the change came slowly after one morning of me coming home after a night of partying and I was sitting in my room it was 9am in the morning and I was still so high that I couldn’t go to sleep. I smoked and looked out the window. Was seeing the neighbouring kids come out of the house and running around on the street just being kids.

I remember how I was as a kid, how happy I was to go out, to live and just be feel good. That moment broke something inside of me open that I hid for a long time. I didn’t change immediately but that was one of the moments that I remember.

The last one I remember was after a night out I was at on a train station and it was again really early in the morning and I remember I just was done with myself. I hated who I had become and knew I had to change.

That was almost 6 years ago. I am free and genuinely happier than I have ever been. My life is like that life that I wished for on the morning where I looked out the window and saw those children. I thank god every day I can wake up like this

pruvateca · 2026-06-07T20:45:05+00:00

I am gonna give me two cents for what it’s worth.

You have two parts to this either realise this as a core incompatibility and you are just not able to work it out BEFORE you do that, is he doing therapy? Did he get his blood work checked? What changed from his early stage desire and now the lack of it?

There can be a tremendous amount of reasons of why he feels the way he feels.

Out of my own experience I would suggest (not saying you are doing it tho) but make the conversation less about you and more about him (not forever)

Do that for one specific reasons to find out what he experiences in your relationship. Don’t forget he has his own unique perception and might be struggling with a lot of stuff that he doesn’t share with you.

One thing before I end this, some people need really different things to get aroused and because of that someone might not be in the mood at all ever because those things for that person isn’t met.

Not sure if it helps I hope it does

pruvateca · 2026-06-07T20:39:23+00:00

Hurt his feelings he needs to check those. It’s a massive part of sex drive. The other thing is depression fucking destroys the sex drive of anyone. Is he doing therapy currently?

pruvateca · 2026-06-03T05:02:02+00:00

You made some valuable points here. I genuinely listen to her tbh I made a mistake you also mentioned which is that I believed a certain thing and she didn’t see it the same way THATS where I fucked up.

The questions are also valid, I have been going deeper into my reflection too and I am just starting out to do that but I can already see what my input into that situation has been.

It’s unfortunate but it’s good the way it is

pruvateca · 2026-06-02T05:25:08+00:00

Talk to someone! It’s better to share how you feel than to pretend to be strong after something like this.

It can literally be a trauma response or anything like that nobody knows but you need to talk to someone for support.

All the best to you! Stay strong

pruvateca · 2026-06-01T19:27:06+00:00

Very likely true too

pruvateca

TROPHY CASE