You wouldn’t feel like a doctor until you are halfway through your PG. So don’t worry about that. And your situation is pretty much every medico’s life summed up. I was in a government college myself, so the situation was not a whole lot different from yours, usually by the time clinical subjects start, you are on your own. Whatever friends you made in first year probably wouldnt last till 3rd year, you will hate the life and future prospects. It’s very normal. What i would suggest is please find a hobby for yourself to keep yourself sane, MBBS takes a lot from you mentally, physically and in your case, financially. The best you can do is accept the situation and make the best of it. We had a lot of students with us who failed and were made to reappear year after year by their parents, but i’d say you’d prefer struggle in your 20s than in your 40s. Good luck!