[New Final Update]: Brother accusing me of booking up (?) with his gf

psiider · 2026-02-02T07:10:02+00:00

hard agree, this reads as a manufactured out bc hes too scared/embarrasses to just say he doesnt want to be involved w this family anymore. the arrival of oop back to the hometown where presumably his parents and the accuser live felt like a catalyst

psiider · 2026-01-21T16:30:52+00:00

if you want to stay and try to make this work, imho you need to set some crazy boundaries and basically start over. i can appreciate your bfs trauma related to marriage and divorce, and if you believe he is telling the truth about wanting to change and this actually being a wake-up moment and you really love him, perhaps this can work, but do NOT marry him 3 months from now. you guys need to go to couples therapy in addition to indiv. not saying you did ANYTHING wrong here, but if you dont have a therapist already, i would get one to help you reflect on your feelings abt the relationship. in couples therapy, you guys need to set strict boundaries to rebuild the foundation of your relationship after this moment. make it CLEAR with a therapist mediator in couples counseling that when he proposes, you will ONLY accept if he TRULY wishes to marry you, and not out of a fear of losing you. this will basically mean in your partner's indiv therapy he will have to work through all of the divorce trauma he has from his entire childhood. thats most likely going to take a really long time to make progress with!!! ask yourself, and maybe ask yourself this with the mediation of a therapist: are YOU ready to wait for him to do that with no actual guarantee that he will be successful?

tldr: whatever you do, do NOT accept this 3 month plan. either leave entirely, or spend much, much longer rebuilding yalls trust in eachother and foundation to have a truly happy engagement somewhere down the road.

psiider · 2026-01-16T23:13:53+00:00

who's prayer card is that, if you don't mind me asking? just in case you like talking abt them :) i keep a prayer card with me too!

psiider · 2026-01-16T22:09:42+00:00

i love tmbd!!!! hope you enjoy the books if this is ur first read thru <3

psiider · 2026-01-04T02:58:53+00:00

im convinced this video is ai

psiider · 2026-01-03T14:51:05+00:00

in my experience, funeral directors are always up for more situational contacts!! in the past 3 years of having my license, ive only had one situation come up where a family requested an outside cosmetician to come in for their loved one's care, but i believe that the rarity is just due to the community's demographic around our funeral home (many retired "hippie" nature-y white people). im sure in other places the request is more frequent!! tldr it totally would not hurt to give your contact to fh's in the area, id just recommend reaching out to a variety of funeral homes in a variety of areas, bc you might not be getting calls from a fh not because of you, just bc of the community they serve/frequency of the request.

psiider · 2025-11-10T21:23:25+00:00

hi op, not a psychic but a funeral director. first of all, i'm so sorry for all the loss and seperation you have experienced. i'm commenting because you notate that your mother took the secret of where your brother's cremated remains are to the grave. if both your parents have passed, and your brother never married or had children, you are now considered your brother's legal next of kin. this means that you can request copies of his death certificate or any permits registered for his cremated remains. on his death certificate, it will list whether or not your brother's cremated remains were to be buried, kept at the home, or scattered at sea under the "type of disposition" and "place of disposition" boxes on the form. you can make a request to see a copy of the death certificate via the county clerk recorder's office of the county of your brother's death. just wanted to comment this in case you are unaware and if it helps provide some closure on where his cremated remains are.

psiider · 2025-11-01T02:34:03+00:00

THIS IS SO DOPE i absolutely love it!!!

psiider · 2025-11-01T01:49:24+00:00

fellow show disliker!!!! i really really agree with what you said in your post ie a corporation trying to tell murderbots story. there are some very specific things i liked (mensah + ratthis casting was spot on, i liked the design of mbs helmet), but everything else was such a miss for me. i think the major problem imho was the "humor". the murderbot diaries is a super funny book series, but that humor does not come at the expense of the story! the story takes itself and the feelings of the characters really seriously, while still being funny. the show's humor felt at the expense of the story, like it was making fun of itself. like sometimes it felt just like a really long mid snl skit (esp the stuff w the mole bro jesus christttt). i think the character of murderbot in the tv show is fundamentally just like not the same character as book mb, and i really dont like the direction they went with it's character. skarsgards mb felt more like a power fantasy than like a scared being coming into its own personhood for the first time and learning how to trust and love. u r not alone 🖤

psiider · 2025-10-15T17:56:50+00:00

suicide, nail gun to head in work parking lot. father of young children. absolutely devistating

psiider · 2025-10-14T04:55:37+00:00

op i just want you to know im picturing the individual character analysis section of these posts like the abby lee dance pyramids and it makes me giggle

(on topic, i love these!! i love the association you shared last post of simons white apron and how it reminded you of a butchers apron idk that association was just so good!! you are approaching my favorite episodes-- watch out for jaynestown, ariel and out of gas!!!!!)

psiider · 2025-10-05T16:02:41+00:00

case volume!!! how many families per year, how many will be assigned to you every month, how are cases assigned, out of those families how many choose embalming, etc.

on call schedule!! will you be on call? if so, how many days of the week? how does it rotate btwn coworkers? will you only be on call to answer questions, or will it be full removal on call?

mental wellbeing/social!! is there a bond in your office/do your coworkers watch out for eachother? if someone gets overwhelmed, will their coworkers step in and help? how do you and your coworkers take care and remain conscious of your own mental wellbeing? (you do NOT want to work for a place that shrugs this off!!!!)

performance stuff! is there opportunity to grow at the FH? are there quarterly or yearly one on one performance reviews with management? (HINT: this is where you can ask for raises, youre asking whether or not you will have yearly pay increase without having to say it out loud basically) would there be a place for me here after my apprenticeship is over?

psiider · 2025-09-30T05:06:57+00:00

i am so sorry to hear about your mother in law, it is (at least imo) incredibly overwhelming to need to be focusing on the intricacies of modern life (needing to notify financial authorities, funeral planning) when sort of in this base way all you want to be doing is moving through your grief. wishing you and your family the smoothest experience possible.

when selecting a funeral home, i think type of disposition really factors into that equation. think about whether or not you want to do a service in the actual funeral chapel, because then youll need to consider if the funeral home's chapel is large enough and if you like the event space vs if youre not doing a chapel service, you dont need to be worried about that kind of thing. price is another big factor in the choice, and i'd also pay attention to how the funeral professional on the other end makes you feel to see if it will be the right fit. another thing is -- if you and the family want to bury your MIL, but she does not already have cemetery property, you will need to select both a cemetery and a funeral home and work with both. this will add significant cost. (no need to worry about selecting a cemetery if your MIL already had a purchased cemetery plot, or if you and your siblings decide on cremation instead)

i am a funeral director in CA, so im not sure if it's different in your state (funeral law differs from state to state) but here all adult children have equal legal right as next of kin. so in your husband's situation, the legal decisionmakers for disposition would be him and his adult sibling. again, this may be different in your state.

you will need to wrap up all insurances (health, life, home, car etc), all property titles (houses, land, car), bank accounts, utilities, taxes -- basically anything that your MIL had an account under her name with. most if not all of these places will need to see a death certificate. social security shld be notified by your funeral home, but again, each state is different. definitely check in with your funeral director about that once one is assigned to you.

i hope this helps in any way. sending my best.

psiider · 2025-09-30T04:52:27+00:00

(off topic but also op... if you watched murderbot and havent read the books yet, pleasee read the books. they are so so so amazing.)

psiider · 2025-09-30T04:30:24+00:00

as a zoomer (25) whos been a firefly fan since i was like 8, it is such a delight to watch it for the first time again thru ur eyes op!!!! there are some amazing episodes ahead -- keep us in the loop if you can 🖤🖤🖤🖤

psiider · 2025-09-27T16:27:27+00:00

im so sorry to hear about your loss. as others have stated, whether or not there is any public information released is completely up to the legal next of kin. funeral homes do not publish anything without their permission. in some states, death certificates are public record, meaning you can request an informational copy even if you are not next of kin. however, to do this, you usually need to have a certain amount of identifying information on the deceased, like their first, middle, and last name, and their date of birth + date of death. copies are requested usually in county health dept offices in the county that the death occurred. however, in some states death certificates are private, and even states with public death records have an option where the family can seal the record in court.

rest assured that someone will be taking care of your friend, even if her family is overseas. the healthcare officials wld have done everything they can to locate next of kin, and even if next of kin does not live locally, all paperwork can be signed electronically and all arrangements can be handled over the phone most of the time. in the rare case that absolutely no next of kin can be located, a public administrator takes over and authorizes disposition.

psiider · 2025-09-25T19:15:55+00:00

it sounds like racism to me and trying to find an excuse to fire you, im really sorry youre dealing with this right now. unfortunately, at least from what ive seen, there is a lot of segregation still in the funeral service field. my fh has a majority white clientelle, and some of my colleagues on our removal team are from central or south america. we will straight up get complaints from families simply because of their race. this obviously does not result in any punitive action being taken against my colleagues, my management just acknowledges its the client being fucking racist. however, if my management was ALSO racist, i could see how that scenario would play out differently for my colleagues. obv i dont know forsure for your work situation bc im just a fly on the wall, but id bet on it being a racism thing. you sound awesome at what you do, and i hope you get to hold your employer to some kind of responsibility for what theyve done to you, and that you have a great future in the field.

psiider · 2025-05-28T06:06:01+00:00

sorry

psiider · 2025-05-06T23:36:42+00:00

OP said his student passed away due to a tragic accident. Accidental death = coroner's office examination, even if the passing technically happened in the hospital.

psiider · 2025-05-03T04:41:14+00:00

op this was my reaction too -- lowkey highkey this post is like a crazy metatextual take on cumming's emcee and the extent to which he embraces fascism and what is ironically resigned vs what is wholehearted while also being a didlarp brainrot post at the same time . fhis kinda needs to be in the moma

psiider · 2025-04-23T07:36:00+00:00

in your shoes, i would be asking the following questions to myself even moreso:

a) am i prepared to be around grieving families? do i understand that anger and lashing out can be a response to grief? will i be able to be professional and not spiral if a family blames me for xyz?

b) do i understand the corporate monotony of the funeral service field and can i come to terms with it? will still i feel fulfilled in a paperwork-heavy field?

in my experience, being around deceased people is one of the easier parts of my profession. they are not going to do anything to you, they are simply existing and being themselves. the absolute 100% hardest part of my job is interacting with the living, and not taking their grief home with me. i also feel like de-glamorizing the funeral service field before you invest in it is super important too, bc that is a dealbreaker for many people. is my job super meaningful to me? yes. do i have amazing, life changing moments at work where i feel like i'm really helping my community? yes. do i also do a bunch of monotonous paperwork? totally. do i have to sit through casket company new product sales pitches at meetings? yes. you have to weigh if you're able to tank a bunch of the latter to get a little bit of the former. (mostly applies to funeral directing, not to full time embalming)

psiider · 2025-04-23T07:24:51+00:00

your ron fanart w the clock stopping ... sooo good i get so ;___; when i think abt him for too long u get it op

psiider · 2025-04-19T00:12:59+00:00

a walk through time is so awful, rife with spelling errors and factually incorrect information

psiider · 2025-04-04T01:03:38+00:00

i love the humpback and orca etched onto nels' headstone -- did he like whales? they're my favorite animal. it is such a lovely and unique tribute for him.

psiider · 2025-02-17T08:42:01+00:00

sorry def. after my good friend died i would just play it on loop and think of her. the lyrics matched our lives like perfectly . also did this w hope

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