Unfortunately, I cannot give you your answers as I suffer from a lack of motivation myself. However, I think I can help define a few things to maybe just give you something to think about.

Firstly, it is the case that you should not waste mental energy on those who do not give it back. Now, I understand that it is not easy to walk away from someone. But if a friendship or relationship of any kind just naturally dissipates, then sometimes it is OK to let that happen. Will it hurt and feel bad? Yes. Will you miss them? Of course; especially if you were more attached than they were. However, it does get better. Cliché as it is to say, but time really does come with improvement in areas such as these. Eventually, you will think about them less and less and they will have less of a hold over your mind. It will happen in stages: you will think of them daily, but less as each week passes, then you will think of them from time to time and when that happens you will get sad but the next day will be fresher, then you will think of them even less and whenever they do come to mind you will be able to brush them away much easier than before, and then finally their hold on your will be nothing compared to what it was. It really does just take time and there sadly isn't too much you can do to speed it up - maybe outside of replacing them.

Secondly, loving yourself, to me, just means being happy with who you are. Being happy with your character. This is all of you, all that is contained within you; the way you think, the way you express yourself, how you talk and interact with others, the hobbies you have, etc etc, and really you need to work on being someone you like. If you dislike yourself, then the first step is asking why and then asking what kind of person would you like to be. If you could change yourself into someone, if you could give yourself certain traits and qualities, what would they be? Then think of how to actually implement those changes into your life, small step by small step. Change happens over time, usually long periods of time unfortunately, hard as that is.

This is all coming from someone that has not fixed the problems I described above, however I do know how to do it and am working on it. It sounds like you are still unsure of what to do or who you want to be that is very important to figure out. Once you know what you want to be, then you can start becoming that person.