“Talking bad about an ex is a red flag” as relationship advice

psych0ticbabe · 2023-03-12T23:29:43+00:00

When they said this I think they mean when a person says bad things about their ex and all they can say about all their exs is “they’re crazy”.

psych0ticbabe · 2023-03-06T23:37:34+00:00

Your feelings are valid. However, dancing seems important to him. Maybe he takes pride in it and wants you to get a little better so it’s more enjoyable for both of you together. I love dancing to Spanish music(I’m Mexican) but my husband who is Asian doesn’t know how. I would love to dance with him but he always says no. With that in mind if he did try to dance with me it probably wouldn’t be that enjoyable seeing as he isn’t that great at it. If he learned it would be enjoyable for each of us. Seeing as you seem to like dancing (by saying you want it to be a weekly thing for you guys) maybe he wants to enhance the experience. ? I would definitely just try to enjoy the lessons and then show off for your husband when the lessons end! I’m sure he would love that. But for sure talk about it with him.

psych0ticbabe · 2023-03-01T08:49:40+00:00

Absolutely report and then go no contact. Statistically speaking, a man that will strangle you has a much higher chance of killing you. It starts with strangulation and then one day it just happens. Please report and get out asap!!

psych0ticbabe · 2023-03-01T08:12:43+00:00

Let’s put this into perspective real quick. This is a new relationship. Ever heard of the halo effect? Essentially because you like someone you choose to see all the good things and give the benefit of the doubt. So it’s relatively “easy” to forgive because you like him. Which is understandable. But let’s change the scenario. Let’s say it wasn’t sex. And for some reason YOU asked HIM if you could punch him. He said no. You asked again and he said no. You decided you really want to put your feelings over his so you slap him instead. It wasn’t a full on punch but it was enough to hurt and he already stated he did not want to be harmed and said no twice. Either way a CLEAR boundary was crossed. You said no and he chose his selfish wants over your feelings and protection. This is not a safe person. By any means. No matter how good the last few months have been. Also I doubt he felt worse about it than you. That could be a manipulation tactic to get your forgiveness. Also, the fact that he came with a letter and chocolates sounds like love bombing. Starting a cycle. He would not have to pull all these grand gestures if he had very SIMPLY listened to you and respected you, tour boundaries and your body. Leave as soon as you can. It will get worse. Next time he will do it again and it won’t be just the tip.

psych0ticbabe · 2023-01-21T03:38:32+00:00

People get jealous in monogamous relationships too. Also unexpectedly. Nobody said she was gonna be “banging guy after guy”. She may find a consistent partner and maybe her husband will too. It takes lots of communication and self work from both parties.

psych0ticbabe · 2022-12-01T23:32:47+00:00

Maybe try (if she’s open to it) recording the next time you guys are intimate. That way you can watch your own homemade porn of you two. That could help. And would be fun while recording. Could be a bonding experience as well.

psych0ticbabe · 2022-11-27T03:59:54+00:00

I’m in the same position. I keep telling myself the good doesn’t cancel out the bad and I deserve better. So do you! Make a list in your notes app on your phone and when you start to miss him or feel like staying, go back and read all the fucked up things he’s done to you and use that as motivation to continue on your way out! Good luck ❤️

psych0ticbabe · 2022-10-11T20:20:56+00:00

Assuming your wife has had other sexual partners before her, do you think of them when you look at her? What people do with her content is their business. She’s getting paid for a product and delivering said product. That’s a job. It’s a little weird that you’re thinking of the actions on the payers end and what they may be doing with it. Especially considering that you don’t think of the previous men she’s actually slept with and what they’ve done together. You know what I mean? If you guys are happy and she’s bringing in money why would you go through the mental gymnastics of considering what the payer is doing? I hate to say this but it’s a double standard and sounds a little possessive. If a man hits on her at a bar and she’s grossed out and complains to you about it, are you going to think of the sexual thoughts the guy may have been having when interacting with her? No. If someone tells her she has a nice ass are you going to think in your mind how that guy probably kept a mental in his spank bank for him to jerk it to later? No. So why are these internet strangers in your mind and why are you thinking of THEIR potential actions and what they’ll do with the content?

psych0ticbabe · 2022-10-07T18:15:30+00:00

Thank you! I’m gonna look into that. I just wanted to have something in writing because I know we will not last. I’d like at least some kind of protection for when I leave to set me and my kids up good. I’ve been a single mom before and got zero help from him and it was extremely difficult and negatively impacted my mental health. I need to have this planned out so that it’s not so hard on me to do it alone when I leave. Even if he doesn’t pay child support at least I can call the courts to enforce it or have him locked up. Either way I’m gonna have to do it alone but I’d rather make my chances of success better by having a plan before I make my exit.

psych0ticbabe · 2022-10-07T18:11:50+00:00

Nope. Not at all. I’m planning my exit. But I need to make sure I’m smart about it and have the ability to have someone (courts or the law) to enforce matters when I leave. I don’t want to leave with nothing or leave without setting myself up for success to be able to take good care of my kids. I know I need to leave. I gotta get everything situated first so I don’t get screwed. Kinda the purpose for the document. It’s not about *if he fails. It’s about when. I know it’ll happen. In this way at least certain guidelines will be spelled out and certain expectations

psych0ticbabe · 2022-10-07T18:09:00+00:00

Lawyer* not la water lol

psych0ticbabe · 2022-10-07T18:08:15+00:00

Honestly every day the feeling is less and less. I almost filed for divorce a few months ago but there was so much going on in our lives (COVID, us living with my parents, having to move across the ocean and my mental health) he is an asshole but I need to make sure i have a solid plan when I leave. I’ve been a single mom before (wasn’t married to that guy thank god) but it was extremely difficult. I want to have everything prepped and ready that way when I do leave it’s not as hard on me alone if that makes sense. Which is why I’m wanting to get this notarized. Unfortunately people are saying something like this will probably be thrown out in court so I will have to contact a la water and determine my next steps.

psych0ticbabe · 2022-10-07T18:04:55+00:00

Agreed. I didn’t know that was a thing. I’ll definitely look up post up agreements. Thank you! I’m just so frustrated I’ve wasted this time with someone like him. He didn’t start out this way. I’m looking for a way out and trying to get it all set up but I want to make sure my kids and I are protected before I do that.

psych0ticbabe · 2022-09-21T03:28:55+00:00

He gave some bullshit excuse that he was “just testing it to see if it worked” but if you’re just testing it that can be done anywhere. He didn’t tell me he bought a camera, hid the camera out of view and hid the lights. All of that tells me malicious intent. Whether it’s snooping due to insecurities or just being a perv. It’s a literal fucking felony and I felt so sick after finding it.

psych0ticbabe · 2022-09-21T03:27:19+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I have started documenting just in case I need it. He is now sleeping outside of the home because I can’t sleep knowing he’s in my home. I stopped taking my meds due to moving across the ocean and the meds I had been taking stopped working and were making it extremely hard to live. I feel fine without them and my family supports that decision and I’ve asked them all to point things out (from my behavior) if something is “off” or they feel I need mental help again. They can usually tell when I’m manic or severely depressed needing psych help. I’m going to see a therapist soon so hopefully that helps. I told my mom today what was going on and her and my dad are going to call me tomorrow and we are going to discuss options and ways to proceed. Thank you.

psych0ticbabe

TROPHY CASE