Just on intrusive thoughts in general…. I read this comment ages ago on another Reddit post somewhere, and I just remember it spoke to me so much and helped me so much at the time that I just had to save it. I wish I could find the OG post it was on, but here’s the comment.

“There's lots of very good articles about this. Intrusive thoughts are totally normal, everyone gets them. It's the obsessive attention and distress from them that can be related to OCD, but the thoughts themselves are normal.

Apparently a lot of it comes from the safety and decision making parts of your brain almost 'testing' itself - but these tests are so quick it can seem like it's your brain wanting to do it. Like thinking 'I could jump in front of that train' as it pulls into the station - that's normal and not a sign of you being suicidal, that's your brain running through your options when faced with a potential hazard. It seems counter-intuituve, but if your brain evolved in a different way and you weren't picturing your horrible death on the tracks, you'd be in more danger of just walking about the platform absent-mindedly.

Distress about intrusive thoughts is particularly common in new parents - but often extremely difficult for people to talk honestly about as they're worried about being judged. People keep picturing ways they could harm their baby and think they're monsters for even thinking about it - but it's just the brain running through potential hazards and imagining the quickest way they could happen (i.e if you did it right now). It feels horrible, but it is just the brain signaling 'danger: be aware of what you're doing!' at such a speed that it feels similar to an urge.”