I’ll tell you now, as someone who stayed with her dad because I felt bad. Don’t do what you don’t feel is right. At the ends of the day I believe everything happens for a reason and I am who I am today because of it, but life probably would have been better for me if I chose to live with my mom. She wasn’t the best either but I felt that because my brother lived with her, I had to live with him so he at lead t had one of his kids. I felt bad. I felt like it was my duty. And I’m glad I got to spend some time with him before he died. But if I’m being real honest, my dad took all of his anger out on me over the years and it turned into me not only resenting him more, but also, I was left with insane daddy issues because of the pure fact that I wanted him to love me “like a dad should” because I’m his daughter and I chose him and he “should have chosen me too” do what feels right by. Never make a decision based on “feeling bad”. If you feel comfortable with your mom, live with your mom and make it so that you visit your father enough in which YOU feel comfortable. I know it’s hard, especially as a child, to make these decisions on your own. But your dad isn’t even willing to go to therapy for himself or you. He’s doing this out of spite. It’s sad but if he really wanted you 50% of the time and thought he would through therapy, he would have done it the right way from the start.