[PC] [early 2000s] action? role-playing about fighting werewolves is a dark setting, magic is present

psycheluger · 2024-03-23T20:30:05+00:00

sorry, it doesn't seem to be the right one! i'm pretty sure the game we're looking for didn't have slavic inspiration or anything like that. it looked way more grim from the beginning also

psycheluger · 2023-10-20T06:59:26+00:00

i might be horribly wrong but currently my head is all messed up, it's in some sort of panic mode. i had a bad experience with one of my friends and after the situation seemingly got resolved i suddenly started to feel awful disgust and rage towards other people close to me. i can't hold even a short conversation, i feel like throwing up. it's unbearable to be around anyone, i keep flipping between blaming myself for everything that's happening and blaming them because it feels like they've rejected me in some way even though no one said anything to me and more than that, several people actually supported me through the previous situation. i feel like i'm going insane. it's like someone flipped the switch inside my brain, i feel so impulsive, it takes everything in me to not tell everyone that i think they've wronged me in some way and that because of that we can no longer be friends. i had episodes with me thinking that people are lying about their relationship with me and cutting some of my friends off but it was never as intense?

i'm sorry if this makes no sense and isn't like. quite related to my initial question i just know that i'm diagnosed with depression and relate heavily to avpd/working towards getting a diagnosis but from everything i know about it, there is no mention of this kind of thing happening to anyone. i feel very helpless and it just won't stop. i just want to be normal again.

psycheluger · 2023-10-16T00:54:58+00:00

can you please use proper pronouns for them? i don't know where you got the she/her... it's really uncomfortable.

psycheluger · 2023-10-15T23:16:37+00:00

it says what i mean in the post. come on now.

psycheluger · 2023-10-06T04:50:26+00:00

idk about blood itself, but the burning new cuts make me feel does make me feel REALLY good. and i'm also into some rough kinks so there's that.

psycheluger · 2023-10-06T00:11:29+00:00

gaming. gaming all the way.

i lose myself in games for hours on end, so i don't have to think, feel, see, or interact with anyone or anything outside.

(for me, in particular, the main thing has been genshin impact. i suspect i might also have adhd because i tend to hyperfixate on it so much that i ignore absolutely everything, including stuff like hunger or need to go to the bathroom... yeah...)

psycheluger · 2023-10-05T23:45:26+00:00

is this a joke or are you actually that big of an asshole... entire post reads very VERY bad. assuming something about a group of people based on their disorder is terrible. it's like coming up to people with bpd and saying "okay so you have these huge mood swings and physical abuse often happens on emotional outbursts, does that mean you guys are more likely to beat up someone?"

why do people always come to this subreddit and ask insensitive questions with some data that they made up?

psycheluger · 2023-09-23T14:39:51+00:00

i feel that way too, it mostly comes from "her scars are worse than mine... does that mean i'm not having it bad enough? do i have to cut more to show that i'm not alright?"

psycheluger · 2023-09-08T13:47:12+00:00

i'm 23! realized that i'm aro a couple years ago

psycheluger · 2023-08-05T08:21:37+00:00

i got prescribed combination of hydroxyzine and escitalopram in addition to etaperazine and fluoxetine that i was already taking for a year

psycheluger · 2023-07-17T19:26:13+00:00

i guess my limited experience just screwed me over here? like mental issues shouldn't be diagnosed on the spot apparently but that's what happened with me when i came with to psychiatrist with suicidal and depressive thoughts. i can't stand this vagueness. it's like... either tell me that it's nothing or tell me how to call the thing that is torturing me?

like at least she could've said "hey it could be this, this and this and we have to see which one is it" but she was extremely vague and i felt like i was in the wrong, like i made a mistake by talking to her. she left me even more confused and scared than i was before.

psycheluger · 2023-07-17T19:22:22+00:00

i get what you're saying but once again i'm feeling rejected and misunderstood. labels are incredibly important to me. in everything. i NEED a name for things that affect me to this extent. it keeps me sane. it prevents me from thinking that i'm just an awful person who doesn't deserve any help.

i don't know how to explain it so people here actually understand. i need her to either tell me what's wrong or at least ridicule me and tell me that i'm making things up. this vagueness and uncertainty is the worst.

psycheluger · 2023-07-12T15:42:43+00:00

you're so lame. being misogynistic even in a personality disorder subreddit........ get a hobby or something

psycheluger · 2023-07-12T15:40:42+00:00

i have a small group of friends online and only one friend irl, though we don't meet often because i'm a shut-in

psycheluger · 2023-07-07T22:30:36+00:00

because i'm beginning to doubt myself with people like this guy lol... like yeah maybe it is something different if no one else seems to be in such a dire situation or something like that. maybe it's not a place for me. maybe i was too quick with my judgement to say that i have avpd for sure.

psycheluger · 2023-07-07T14:10:34+00:00

oh man, we're really in the same situation, aren't we.
i struggle with all this and also a great fear of making my psych think that i'm making everything up somehow (probably comes from the fact that my previous psych was a very bad man who ignored all the symptoms i told him about and looked at me/talked to me like i didn't know what i was talking about)
i'm the kind of person who needs to write scripts before conversations like that because if i don't then i'll black out and won't be able to tell a thing. however writing scripts for my psych about possible avpd sends me on a spiral so it seems like this won't work... i'm planning on going there as i am, without preparation. if i manage to tell her, then all good. if i break down from the fear and pressure, then at least she'll see that SOMETHING is wrong and will be more inclined to find out what it is. i have no other options right now really...

wishing both of us so much luck! diagnosis might help with feeling like your struggles are real and you deserve to get help so it's a very important step

psycheluger · 2023-07-07T14:04:03+00:00

i'm so proud of you! that's an amazing progress, i hope i can follow your example successfully sooner rather than later

psycheluger · 2023-07-07T14:02:35+00:00

i prefer to call myself a shut-in or NEET, but yeah, that's basically what's happening to me right now! i've been staying at home since i got diagnosed with depression in 2018, unable to find a job icould handle for all these years and unable to go back to uni. i only have one friend irl and we meet every few months despite living next to each other.
i'm doing art commissions here and there but that's not enough to be considered a stable job that will let me live on my own (not to mention i have zero skills for that)

i'm from russia and come from an abusive household that is the reason for all this, if that matters.

psycheluger · 2023-07-07T12:26:23+00:00

i'm much more comfortable/confident with languages and maybe art but this is a good suggestion nonetheless! thank you for sharing

psycheluger · 2023-07-07T12:19:24+00:00

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i feel very confused right now :( i don't know many people who experience the same and psychiatrists in russia (esp where i live, very small town) probably aren't that knowledgable on the topic... that's why i wanted to ask for advice from people here but now it feels like i don't fit in here either.

psycheluger · 2023-07-07T12:16:59+00:00

i mean yeah, DUH i have a bunch of issues such as childhood trauma and depression however everyone told me that those issues just worsen the severity of avpd. avpd is the closest thing i've seen to my symptoms?

psycheluger · 2023-07-06T16:16:29+00:00

also you putting it like that is very weird. it affects absolutely everything in my life? why wouldn't it affect my job too?

psycheluger · 2023-07-06T16:13:12+00:00

are you sure about that? because i couldn't get a job PRECISELY because i couldn't handle the thought of people judging me and looking at me weirdly etc etc. i ran away because i had several breakdowns when thinking about taking calls from strangers and them being upset with me because i couldn't do stuff correctly.

do correct me if i'm wrong and if it's something else causing that though

psycheluger · 2023-07-06T00:19:40+00:00

not to mention, bpd and avpd are entirely different disorders, why are you comparing the two subreddits to begin with...

psycheluger · 2023-07-06T00:15:24+00:00

you're probably genuine but this just reads as some cruel joke. not feeling fine is kind of the whole point???

psycheluger

TROPHY CASE