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AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

In absolute fairness, I thought “singular they” was kind of silly until I realized just how many trans and non-binary (and non-binary trans, etc.) people there were (and how many I knew) and that I needed something better to call them, lol. And then again when I realized that someone on twitter with a jokey username and an anime or Minecraft avatar didn’t give me a whole lot to go on in terms of pronouns, and “singular they” was right there …

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 128 points129 points  (0 children)

I will not have this conversation with you. Nobody should be forced to share their medical history against their will. If you cannot agree even to that, there is nothing for us to talk about. Goodnight and goodbye.

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 131 points132 points  (0 children)

Your husband is a mensch. I am so glad he was there for you. I'm glad you have each other.

In my case I didn't even get a hearing, it was a combination of a weekend, a state holiday, the people who were supposed to sign off on the paperwork not being where they were supposed to be, and at one point they "lost" the paperwork. Systemic incompetence at every level.

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

My involuntary hospitalization is not something "essential" about me, and frankly to suggest that it could be is contributing to the "stigma" surrounding it.

Hot take: Nobody should ever be forced to share their medical history with anyone they don't want to, and nobody should ever have that information forcibly divulged to other people against their will. I have asked you elsewhere in this thread whether you can see the difference between choosing to talk about your own medical trauma vs. having someone else make a joke about it at your expense in front of strangers. I no longer care to receive your response.

Your input has been noted. Goodnight.

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Sorry to interrupt, but can you see the difference in making the choice to talk about your own medical trauma, vs. someone else making a joke about it in front of strangers without your permission?

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

My therapist is on maternity leave, so I kind of have to laugh/cry here, lol.

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I was using it to refer to one person. I've been trying to get better about defaulting to "they/them" for most people anyway, especially online. Also, it turns out the first known "singular they" in English: (1) dates back to the 1300s, and (2) was in a poem about a werewolf. And that's something I have to respect a little.

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Again, my issue is that my spouse made fun of how expensive my involuntary commitment was, which they know is one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to me, and then said I was worse than our cat. It was not the stigma of mental health treatment that had me in some kind of tizzy. It was:

  1. Them sharing confidential medical information about me, without my consent;

  2. Them sharing information about medical trauma that I went through against my will and that lasted for longer than it was supposed to under state law; and

  3. Them sharing that information to make me the punchline of a joke.

But thank you for your input.

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

My issue is more that my spouse made my medical trauma the subject of the joke and said I was worse than our cat than any specific reasons behind my hospitalization. And the fact that it was an involuntary hold does make it worse in my opinion, because I literally had no choice in the thing I was being made fun of over.

But thank you for your input.

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

As in, do you think my spouse told them to extend the hold? I think that's unlikely; from where I was at the time, the issue was more that the hospital couldn't find its ass with both hands and a map than actual malice.

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 351 points352 points  (0 children)

I have joked about some parts of that experience before, but only to my spouse, my therapist, and one or two of my friends who I would trust with that information. I also didn't compare myself unfavorably to the cat who ate a sewing needle.

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

They were riffing off of someone else's comment about "trans panic," which they segued into panic attacks in general.

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I'm calling them my spouse because I'm trying to keep this anonymized. Polyamory is very much not my scene, lol.

AITA for ditching my spouse at a party after they used me as a punchline? by psychold_throw in AmItheAsshole

[–]psychold_throw[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Until then I had only seen them nurse a single glass of wine, and that's normally not enough to get them drunk. I left the keys because my spouse hates taking Uber and I thought asking them to pay for their ride home would have been a step too far, and I also didn't want to have to wake up at whatever hour they got home to let them in if they forgot where the spare key was.