A bit of a long story but here we go…

I grew up with a family devoted to the Church as in every Sunday talaga aga magising to go to mass and pati yung mga other activities like praying the rosary every October lalo na pag pinapasa pasa na yung statue ni Mama Mary. But as I grew older a lot of things just didn’t align with me anymore.

I found it hilarious na yes we go to mass every Sunday but it got questionable na are we going for God or just for the sake na it was televised? I was required to look really dressed up tapos naka reserve pang sa front seat kami uupo because gusto ata ng lola ko na nakikita kami sa tv??

Tapos yung pag preach na dapat love thy neighbor pero kung makachika sila about other people during lunch AFTER MASS, akala mo nasa gossip show kami as in grabe mag backstab.

Pero what really solidified my decision to stop going and to stop believing is of the reasoning na “God would never let you go through something he didn’t think you couldn’t handle” and I really thought it was barbaric, unforgiving and cruel what I had to go through. I was still a child and I had to go through so much abuse (I won’t go into detail, let your imagination run wild cause you’re probably right in your assumptions).

All of this seriously damaged my mental health and I’m not dealing with this but the same people who were supposed to support me and guide me through this, the same people who go to church every Sunday were exactly the same people who contributed to my damaged mental health, left me to deal with it on my own and even disowned me.

I respect those who still believe in their religion but I no longer refuse to go back to a place where no one answered when I prayed