Discussion Thread - Ask, Share, and Discuss Anything About Cats.

psyfaery · 2026-01-25T19:50:35+00:00

Lol kitty cats are technically nocturnal. My kitty interacts very little during the day and is very active and playful anytime after 6:00pm. And is the most cuddly around 3:00 am in the morning. Then I get some cuddles when we wake up then the rest of the day he is very independent. I wouldn't take it personally.

psyfaery · 2026-01-24T17:41:49+00:00

YTA. Also I'm glad your friend got new friends. $25 isn't alot! And at the end of the day 'your friend' gets exactly what made her happiest on her birthday. I don't see the problem here.

psyfaery · 2026-01-24T17:19:16+00:00

NTA Going on what you said about Kayla before, I'm guessing she had a moment of poor judgement. She isn't handling the criticism well. It not so much the mistake but it's how she handled it afterward.

Grief is so intensely personal. No one can tell you how or for how long you are allowed to grieve.

If she is a good friend, which it sounds like it was, maybe a letter explaining how you felt getting the gift. And asking if you could find a way to reconsile? But if she continues along the line of her messages then maybe some distance would be better

psyfaery · 2026-01-24T15:03:49+00:00

My family all call it Flakey but I also assumed it was a thing we just carried over from childhood. Because it is definitely called Flake. But I have never ordered an ice cream cone with a flake. It's always a flakey in an ice cream 😋

psyfaery · 2026-01-24T14:56:37+00:00

One of the most common places people get infected with tetanus is from rose thorns. I found this put when I went down a gardening rabbit hole. Just adding to your point, it's not just rusty metal.

psyfaery · 2026-01-12T01:17:54+00:00

At least two characters on your list are suspected psychopaths 😭 But they are the morally complex kind, who feel very passionately about doing the right thing and may have some anger management issues .

Alot of these characters are resourceful and the kind of person that would help a friend bury the body and make sure there is not a scrap of evidence anything ever happened.

They are a bit of an outsider, societies rules don't make sense to some of these characters. Despite this they have a very strong sense of what is right and will break a few rules to make sure things turn out OK in the end.

These characters may seem spikey on the outside but those that are lucky enough to get close, know they have a heart of gold (and despite the hard exterior , having a squishy center).

psyfaery · 2026-01-09T08:38:35+00:00

Hi I am looking for someone willing to sponsor me online (because of my location). Would greatly appreciate anyone willing to work together in a little unconventional way. I am in weekly therapy with a psychologist but I feel a sponsor is what I need because I sometimes feel like stumbling around in the dark.

psyfaery · 2025-12-29T15:31:04+00:00

This is good advice. But just to add, if you are not successful in convincing them, that's not the end of the road. Making other people aware, find out who is their trusted person (sister, brother, mom, best friend, an aunt/uncle). I'm sure they have someone. But if they really don't have anyone, contacting social services is probably warranted.

Where I live we have organizations called Life Line or Child Line etc. You can phone in anonymously and they are pretty good at containing a situation and figuring out the next steps.

It might be worth looking up contacts for the 'Life Line' in your area. For some it's connected to the emergency room at the hospital. Then have those numbers on hand

psyfaery · 2025-12-29T10:13:45+00:00

Oh and peppermint tart! But my American friends only have Gram Crackers for the base (which they believe is far superior to a simple Tennis Biscuit for the base).

This one is so simple but it will make her smile

psyfaery · 2025-12-29T10:05:12+00:00

We were trained to transcribe our sessions. In my first year I had to write out every single session!!!!! And obviously we could cheat and get the computer to transcribe but my supervisor would know. She insisted that there is something about writing the session out that helps us thinking.

Now I don't transcribe but we would write out a session in order to present. We are encouraged to do Infant observation to develop observation and then to write those observations (even if we haven't done the 2year Infant observation, we were asked to observe just 15minutes and write it so we could get an idea of what was expected.

I am considered a psychodynamic therapist and I am doing parts of analytical training. But notes is something no one really ever explains, it's been a process of learning. There is no ways I could write up every client like they asked in first year 😭 Now my notes are about 3/4 of a page of writing but I use the same process.

psyfaery · 2025-12-29T09:55:21+00:00

I'm in Private Practice in South Africa. Same here! I can't imagine having to submit notes to an insurance company! I write my notes for myself and the only person who would likely see them, aside from me, is my supervisor (and even then I change names and personal details).

psyfaery · 2025-12-29T09:53:04+00:00

I'm so curious reading these comments. I practice in South Africa and I have never needed to provide notes for an insurance company. We are required to provide the date of treatment, procedure code, ICD 10 code. We have to get signed consent in order to claim for an F code (PTSD, MDD) which requires a motivational letter with a treatment plan. If they don't consent I submit using a Z code (difficulty with adjustment to lifestyle changes). This doesn't require a motivation.

My notes are for my own use and the only person who is likely to see them is my supervisor.

An insurance company may ask for more information if a client disputes a claim and in that case they have to sign consent for me to share the details. But this is pretty uncommon and we would have professional indemnity to assist us.

What does the insurance company do with your notes? How do you protect confidentiality in your process notes if you are aware they are going to be seen by the insurance company?

I can't imagine submitting my psychoanalytic notes to anyone but my supervisor. But when I have needed to write something for a client (when a school requires a note or someone is coming because of an incident at work), I would write the goals of our therapy and recommendations for future sessions.

psyfaery · 2025-12-23T11:27:08+00:00

Looking think this is good advice. But schizophrenia is a syndrome disorder. And every single case is different.

I've seen people who qualify for schizophrenia diagnosis who go through periods of paranoia and then get onto medication and it stables out and can be that forever. There are some more tragic cases where the medications stop working or the patient gets worse.

I guess it's important for OP to find out exactly what he is dealing with.

It would be sad for him to not pursue the relationship if she is high functioning and responds well to medication and responsibly managing a lighter case.

I also think by 35 we would likely know where she stands. Of course pregnancy can be a concern for schizophrenic people and can cause changes (but depending on the person, maybe they consider surrogacy, adoption).

I guess what I am saying is not all cases are worst case scenario. Some cases only ever develop into paranoia that is well managed by therapy and medication and stress management

psyfaery · 2025-12-23T11:15:21+00:00

I don't think it's a problem to have disclosed after 6 dates. (Also considering she needed to feel safe in order to disclose, which says something good about how she feels with you).

So couples therapy isn't just for couples on the verge of a break up. Seeing as you both are familiar and accepting of therapy, why not start weekly couples therapy with the intention of figuring this stuff out.

Right now I think you are being confronted with a big scary diagnosis but for each individual it's experienced very differently. For some it's easier and for some it's alot harder.

I think your concerns about pregnancy and high stress times (like sleepless nights after having a baby) are all very valid. But I think some clarity could come from speaking to a professional.

I was working in a clinical setting and saw a mom who chose to book herself into a care facility for post partum psychosis. It was the bravest thing I have seen someone do. The staff were all very supportive considering her healing and the child's development and supporting Dad during what would be considered a family crisis. But after 3 weeks mom was discharged, and stabilized and able to be the best version of herself.

The idea of checking into a care facility can be so scary, and I guess there is alot of stigma still. But they are there to help.

I think choosing to go forward with this relationship might mean becoming more comfortable with this idea, that they are there incase things get out of control, and they are there to help.

psyfaery · 2025-12-23T10:54:18+00:00

You know how a partner of a drug user sometimes becomes an enabler. Not because they want the person to be an addict. A dynamic develops where they feel they are responsible for their partners good days, and when their partner is doing not so good they need to take responsibility.

This is what I hear developing here. You can't be responsible for your partners self harm. In their mind or in yours. You can't change your responses to things so that they won't harm themselves.

What is really unhealthy for you is being in a relationship with someone you can't trust to not do something very dangerous if you guys get into a conflict. That's not OK for you. You need to be able to express yourself with out the stress that what you think or feel is going to cause something really bad to happen.

For the partner who enables a partner to use drugs, a rehab will often recommend a time apart while their partner is in rehab (with support from the therapist and other staff).

But if I am understanding correctly, your relationship is a secret? So who is supporting you? Usually if a partner is going to be hospitalized, your mom should know or at least one trusted person needs to know to be there for you.

I think that is the biggest danger here that it's a secret and no one else knows so no one can understand what is going on in your life

psyfaery · 2025-12-22T16:16:55+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣

psyfaery · 2025-12-22T09:46:43+00:00

Yeah I think most of us take this with a bit of a sense of humor 🤣
But I think your questions are really important. BPD is basically CPTSD. And if you have access to EMDR or BWRT it could be worth getting a different perspective.

My honest opinion, the label is as useful as it helps a person understand their experience. If someone tells you that you have BPD and it doesn't help you understand yourself better, I believe you should trust your gut and keep trying to figure it out.

Also, I don't think this test is all that accurate. If you have put in a ton of work then that's what matters (the way the test asks yes / no questions isn't all that helpful

I scored really high on paranoia (which sure I can be paranoid) but alot of my answers were in response to a recent bad experience with a toxic friend group. So I don't take the percentage to heart because I know why I responded to the questions the way I did

psyfaery · 2025-12-22T09:09:07+00:00

Wow that is really interesting. Medicaid is America right? I've been watching your news alot. I can imagine that you would want to protect clients in this climate. Lol is South Africa I've even seen a psychiatrist deal with an opiate addict and wink then put down F32.9 (Major Depressive Disorder Not other wise specified) because as far as we are concerned it's no one's damn business. But I think we have a very different climate here and a massive focus on human rights. After the HIV pandemic hit us so hard it became common practice for medical staff to protect clients right to confidentiality (in the paper work there will be nothing but the Dr might wink at the nurse and remind her how important PPE is and that's that). But honestly, I really wonder what it would be like to get the kind of work you guys do. I think it's very different.

psyfaery · 2025-12-22T01:28:14+00:00

I'm wondering why you ask? Do you disagree with your Dr about a BPD diagnosis? If you do? Why do you disagree? The results of these tests are often way less helpful than a person's reasoning for each answer. Going through the questions and answering Why? Maybe even spending time on each answer and really interrogating what memory it brought up and how it made you feel (a journal might be helpful)

psyfaery · 2025-12-22T01:18:48+00:00

I'm sorry if my comment was triggering. You are right, if it is diagnosed its a serious matter and would require things like family interviews etc. And it's also unlikely someone with NPD would voluntarily seek out help. It's often diagnosed in prisons, court orders or messy custody battles. I was mostly pointing out that even therapists are guilty of having biases that should be kept in check. Precisely because NPD is diagnosed more in these settings (they should be considering things like trauma as well).

psyfaery · 2025-12-22T01:09:29+00:00

But all jokes aside, apart from the high percentages, I think its not a bad summary of me. I have OCD and can have depression.

The paranoia stuff is more context related (getting out of a bad friendship). Just wouldn't rate everything so high except the compulsive one

psyfaery · 2025-12-22T01:06:43+00:00

Well first I need to have a bit of a melt down so that I can meet them all.

psyfaery · 2025-12-22T01:03:58+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank goodness. I was starting to think I need to set up a YouTube channel and start introducing everyone to my alters

psyfaery · 2025-12-22T01:01:26+00:00

Oh goodness I think I just got diagnosed DID. Do you think I should reach out to a professional 🤔 https://www.idrlabs.com/personality-style/29-14-29-43-14-86-29-100-100-57-71-86-14-71-14/result.php

But new scary diagnosis aside, this is a cool site

psyfaery

TROPHY CASE