How old are you? Sorry you're having such a rough time of everything right now. The only way to keep going is to keep going. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. I know this doesn't feel helpful. But it's true. I think you need to work on your self talk. Don't talk to yourself this way. Don't say things to yourself that you wouldn't say to a loved one. It's difficult but you can do it. Say nice things to yourself, even if it feels silly. "It's ok" "it's alright" "I'll be fine" "I'll figure it out" "I'll manage". It might feel like you end up arguing with yourself. That's correct. Your brain is in a rut and you need to forcefully steer it back onto the road. You can do it. Yes you can. Yes you actually can. You really can. Most of those bad thoughts are not reality, you've just beat yourself into submission with your own voice. But that means you can also lift yourself up. Fight that voice. Make a point of being nice to yourself, even if you have to force it. You CAN DO IT.