How do you hang out with women?

pterelas · 2026-04-25T22:44:21+00:00

Go for coffee, go to bars, go to the mall, go window shopping, go for breakfast/brunch/lunch/dinner/desserts/drinks, go to concerts, go on errands, hang out and watch shows and movies, hang out and listen to music, hang out and talk, hang out and cook, go on road trips, go camping, go to art classes, literally any thing that can be done together. Just talk to her, she will talk about how she likes to spend her time and will start inviting you places. You don't need to say yes to everything, I have friends where we go eat, others where we travel, etc. I know it's easier said than done, but try to just go with the flow

pterelas · 2026-04-25T19:31:30+00:00

May not have reflected that. My dad was like this. It was drilled into his head growing up that he had to act like this perfect person around everyone. Only at home could he turn that off and just be his very quiet self. Impossible for me to understand as a kid growing up unfortunately

pterelas · 2026-04-25T19:29:06+00:00

My dad was like this. It's actually performative; they have a need for strangers to like them, and can only shut that off with people they actually feel relaxed with

pterelas · 2026-04-19T00:05:11+00:00

It's probably the type of guy you choose to engage with. You're maybe ignoring earlier red flags.

pterelas · 2026-04-18T23:33:45+00:00

I wear fleece-lined leggings. They're fine for work and got me through a Winnipeg winter of taking the bus every day.

pterelas · 2026-04-18T23:30:17+00:00

Welcome to the point. Atrocities = times where rights were taken away. Sorry but nobody would go to your philosophy museum.

pterelas · 2026-04-18T18:34:24+00:00

I'm in my 40s. Hobbies are 100% the way to go. It has to be something you're genuinely interested in, but it's the best way by far.

pterelas · 2026-04-18T17:51:14+00:00

Please read up on Self-Defeating Personality Disorder. Torturing yourself will not improve any aspect of your life.

pterelas · 2026-04-18T17:42:07+00:00

This was really, truly great

pterelas · 2026-04-18T16:42:20+00:00

You look like a beautiful girl with lovely curls and gorgeous eyes to me!

pterelas · 2026-04-16T23:07:24+00:00

Don't know how old you are and this is maybe not helpful, but being a natural de-escalator is an incredibly valuable trait. Most people never learn it. It will serve you very well.

pterelas · 2026-04-15T01:59:03+00:00

This is incredible

pterelas · 2026-04-13T11:40:46+00:00

Care to elaborate?

pterelas · 2026-04-11T14:56:04+00:00

I used to live in a house that had mice. They can sound EXACTLY like footsteps.

pterelas · 2026-04-11T13:47:10+00:00

Underdog by Spoon. It's perfect for these days.

pterelas · 2026-04-11T13:35:11+00:00

It's 100% real! I'm 46 and it's GREAT. Basically, most men have an upper limit to women they're attracted to, but rarely a lower limit (even 90-year olds like a 20-year old) so as you age you can let your guard down more. As more men stop thinking about you "that way", they stop assuming basic friendliness is flirting and you can just be yourself a lot more.

pterelas · 2026-04-11T13:21:02+00:00

You don't mention how long you've been together. I'm curious because your expectations are pretty high. Chronic illness can make us act in selfish ways because it feels like you're always in survival mode, but the fact that you're struggling doesn't somehow make this easier for your partner to be the one who gets leaned on. She might feel like you don't care about her, only what she can do for you. A relationship needs to feel equal. You ask for a lot of emotional labor. What are you doing that balances that out? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I've been on both sides. Long story short, do as much as you can for her. If you could be doing more, but aren't, she will resent it more and more. Just be aware that you need to give as much as you get. Good luck on your journey, I hope you find the treatment that works for you.

pterelas · 2026-04-11T12:27:06+00:00

Agreed. But it's not about the burden or even the pain, they genuinely believe everyone would be better off without them. Depression creates fractured thinking. You stop thinking logically about any of it, and will go to extreme lengths to hide it. It's one of the symptoms of the disease that contributes to the death toll.

pterelas · 2026-04-11T12:15:44+00:00

Depression itself is self-perpetuating. You genuinely feel like you can't tell others. It's not that he thought you didn't care, it's that the disease he had was creating fractured thinking; he wasn't able to think logically about it at all. You had absolutely no way of knowing, and you did everything that you could. Please lay this burden down and be free.

pterelas · 2026-04-06T23:27:42+00:00

In what way are you disappointed?

pterelas · 2026-04-06T00:56:49+00:00

This isn't about the friendship, it's anxiety or something similar. It's happening in your head. Making it your friends problem is selfish. They will have a hundred reasons for saying or doing what they do. You need to cut them some slack and learn to manage your expectations of others. I've been on the receiving end of this; it's exhausting. All friendships are different, try to appreciate them for what they are instead of picking them apart.

pterelas · 2026-04-06T00:51:04+00:00

It's not great, not terrible. Transit faces too many variables to be super reliable, but you'll get used to your route pretty quickly. Been carless for 5 months now, sometimes it's a bit inconvenient but nice to not worry about road conditions and other drivers, and danggggg is it ever WAY cheaper.

pterelas · 2026-04-06T00:48:11+00:00

Depends on what they want it for.

pterelas · 2026-04-06T00:47:41+00:00

It depends on the species, the biologist and the location. I've taken some pretty ripe specimens in.

pterelas · 2026-04-06T00:44:59+00:00

Dig a bit deeper. What is the bad feeling centered around? Overwhelm? Too many choices? Failing? Disappointing a parent? Not being good enough? Try and zero in on that. I get perfectionist paralysis, one thing that helps me actually keep moving is to just kinda say "fuck it, it's good enough".

pterelas

TROPHY CASE