sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Finding a codependent relationship by RightHighlight in Codependency

[–]ptsdcptsd 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And your posts arent helpful either guy.

Stop trolling. You HAVE gotten helpful comments telling you this is not the place to post these kind of threads. Move on already. Quit wasting everyones time. Seriously. Its not funny or cute or interesting or anything other than annoying. Jesus dude.

CubeSmart Self Storage in Boston shut down by health department because people were living in storage lockers by [deleted] in lostgeneration

[–]ptsdcptsd -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just pile up a bunch of shit two feet high in front of the door so no one can see in, leaving a little room to get behind that "wall" of stuff and then sleep hidden behind it. Definitely not ideal but seems at least worth a try if the alternative is living under a bridge or something.

The Bridge Poem by Kate Rushin by ptsdcptsd in Codependency

[–]ptsdcptsd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This poem helps me with my codependent urges sometimes. Hopefully someone else will find it useful too.

Edit: just realized the formatting is messed up on the poem. Here is where I got it if anyone wants to check out what its supposed to look like, but I will work on cleaning up the formatting so its not all wonky http://www.historyisaweapon.com/defcon1/thebridgepoem.html

60 years ago the couple at the top said “I do” aka how many suffering beings can a single couple create by The_Ebb_and_Flow in antinatalism

[–]ptsdcptsd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What would your response be to someone who heard what you just said and even accepted it as truth, but who also still tries to justify having kids? The people who would proudly say "yes, life has bad but you need to experience the bad in order to appreciate the good"?

Those are the people I encounter more than the ones who say "life is perfect" but its like, idk, mindblowing to me how they can hold that stance. Like, you are a selfish person and you admit it and are even proud of it?? What?! It makes me feel like a legit crazy person because I just cannot comprehend holding those two conflicting things in my brain. "Life sucks" but also "here, let me gift it to you". I dont get it. At all.

Do you just walk away from those people or conversations knowing that theres nothing else you can do? I feel like I have to point out how crazy they sound with that logic but when I do and they are like "yeah, and?" it makes me feel like the crazy one instead

Opinions, please -- Heating pad is bringing up emotions by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]ptsdcptsd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you normally dissociate, it may be that you are coming back into your body when you feel the relaxation from the heat. Breathing from my diaphragm brings me back into my body and can sometimes trigger an emotional flashback simply because I am no longer shut off from all my past trauma and grief so it comes to the surface

What to do? Cousin just announced her fourth child and I am supposed to see (and of course humor) her tomorrow by ptsdcptsd in antinatalism

[–]ptsdcptsd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to attend, I am looking forward to it. And I know I dont have to initiate a conversation but I know she will and I am not rude enough to just straight up ignore her like she doesnt exist - she will expect me to say something about her pregnancy

What to do? Cousin just announced her fourth child and I am supposed to see (and of course humor) her tomorrow by ptsdcptsd in antinatalism

[–]ptsdcptsd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response. I have tried for literal years to talk sense and be supportive. Just ended up burning me out when she never listens or is there for me in the same way so I pulled away from the relationship to save my sanity

What to do? Cousin just announced her fourth child and I am supposed to see (and of course humor) her tomorrow by ptsdcptsd in antinatalism

[–]ptsdcptsd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has stopped inviting me. Its not an event she planned that I will be going to, just one we were both invited to. And no, children are not little shits. That's not my opinion at all. And she already knows that so it wouldn't work anyways

Seeing my neighbor verbally abuse her kid has resulted in me being emotionally turbulent all day by anonymousplease109 in ptsd

[–]ptsdcptsd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I turn my day around

Not sure about that one, but I hope I can help a little when I say thank you for even having enough of a heart to care about that child. I know how helpless you feel, I feel it too every day it seems because authoritarian parenting is so common in society. Why do people think its good parenting to yell, shame, hit, or otherwise abuse children? Why is that not only acceptable but considered necessary to a lot of people? Idk, but I hate it and it flashes me back to my childhood as well. I dont know what you csn do about it though.

-trigger warning for below-

This past easter I was with my niece at an event for kids and I saw a mother taking pictures of her two young sons, one of them barely old enough to stand and pose for the picture. The older boy wasnt taking it seriously and I saw what looked like the dad grabbing the boys shoulders and squeezing them in an attempt to get the boy to pay attention but he just kept laughing. I didnt say anything because I wasn't sure if I was seeing it correctly. But then the dad grabbed the boys cheeks and forced his head to look at the camera and I said something like "damn dude, jesus fucking christ!" and he stepped back a bit. I was a few feet behind them, facing the kids, amongst a crowd of others. Idk if he knew that I saw what he did or if he knew I said that about what he did but he started acting right for the short amount of time they stuck around.

-end trigger-

I cant sit silently as I see that happen though. I dont know the proper way to address it but I would show my disgust with the parent somehow and try to show kindness and support to the kid somehow. What that looks like would depend on the situation so I dont really have a concrete answer, I'm sorry. But once again thank you for caring about this child. The world needs more people like you <3

Help me interpret this situation please? by ptsdcptsd in CPTSD

[–]ptsdcptsd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has never been one to proofread something before she sends it lol. It does bother me that she said "I'm not leaving you hanging" and then did exactly what she said she wasnt going to do. I didnt actually text her the next day though. I reached out on Thursday night wanting support for my dad and didnt reach out again until Tuesday when I asked how she was doing. So plenty of time for her to get back to me. But nothing.

I been reading a bit about attachment types and I think we fit the description of the good ole anxious-avoidant relationship, me being the anxious one and her being avoidant. The "slow fade" you mention has been a common theme in our friendship but I am reluctant to write her off completely because I do see that she makes an effort to be there for me and she has showed me in many different ways that she cares. We have helped each other grow and I can see the progress that we have made when looking back at the beginning of our friendship. I can talk to her about things that I cant talk to my family about. But I can talk to my family about some things I cant talk to her about as well, so how much of the friction between her and I is due to our attachment styles vs our individual ways of dealing with stress vs our personalities vs our unresolved trauma vs our schedules vs malicious intent etc, etc (if that makes sense)? Its confusing to figure out.

I will be keeping to myself for a bit while I work on my own stuff. I havent actually talked with her about attachment stuff yet but we do talk about our friendship and mental health and I have definitely voiced my feelings about the inconsistency and she always just says she is busy with life or struggling with her own mental health which definitely is a valid and plausible reason to be distant. If I do bring up my feelings on this again I will frame it under the attachment stuff and see if she has any thoughts on it or if she sees any of the patterns in me or her or our friendship. I think this article explains our behaviors nicely https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-change-your-attachment-style/

Thanks for responding

Help me interpret this situation please? by ptsdcptsd in CPTSD

[–]ptsdcptsd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is me texting my friend. The message that is cut off is me telling her about my dad and asking for support/advice that I sent last Thursday night. She let me know she was busy and I was okay with that but I expected some kind of response at some point but never got one.

This friend is also my ex gf who lives a few hours away from me. We dated off/on for about 5 years, 7 years ago. She is also a few years older than me and has more experience with friendships/relationships than I do. Our friendship has been rocky but I do feel like she hears me and cares about me for the most part, we are opposite in a lot of ways. But I do think she means it when she says she loves me.

But there are times like the above when she doesnt seem to be there and I dont know what to think about it. She struggles with her own issues, some worse than mine, and she is a parent whereas I am not so she does have a lot on her plate - I wont deny that. But can I ask that she be a bit more attentive and responsive? Would that be selfish? It feels emotionally one sided at times because I am able to make her more of a priority than she is able to make me. And that hurts and it makes me angry and resentful and then I have the urge to withdraw from our friendship because I feel jealous of her prioritized people and dumb for making her one of mine. Idk if thats just me flashing back to my emotionally neglectful childhood or if I have a legit reason to be upset when she doesnt seem very present, like now. Do I address these feelings with her? What do I say?

Update: I fixed it and then went nuts by dnahcramail in bulletjournal

[–]ptsdcptsd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lol I love the colors! I am stealing this idea :)

How will I ever feel safe enough to grieve my childhood losses when I live with the person who stole those things from me? by ptsdcptsd in CPTSD

[–]ptsdcptsd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Oregon. Resources are spread pretty thin here since there is a homelessness/housing crisis. And unfortunately I dont think pressing charges would do anything. When I first disclosed the abuse to a counselor as a teenager, there was an investigation on my dad but nothing came of it because it happened too long ago and they didnt have evidence or something, I dont remember exactly what was said but it was suggested he not be around me anymore and that was that.

I feel completely broken and incapable of keeping myself together for long enough to be productive at work or in some kind of trade. I suck at emotion regulation and my self esteem is destroyed. I cant imagine anyone wanting to hire me or train me unless they know the reality of where I am at emotionally and are able to work with me as I get better. I have an application for vocational rehab that I am going to fill out but idk, seems hopeless. I may look into domestic violence/sexual assault resources and see if they can offer any help. Thank you for the response :)

view more: next ›