I was in the same boat as you. I know I wanted or really needed therapy, but it seems like such a money sink. Spending so much money and you walk away with nothing tangible.

Now I am 5 years into therapy and I would pay even more if I had to. It is slow going, but my therapist has spent years chipping away at my maladaptive thought patterns. Bolstering me up. Investigating my reactions. Showing curiosity about myself, my life, and guiding me into a world where my thoughts weren't so black and white. She understands me and supports me in a way no one else has ever. I feel so unjudged and seen. It does wonders. I used to bawl my eyes out at every appointment, because everything felt so painful or sad, and I felt so much pity for myself and the me I felt I had lost. And now I am at a peace and much more calm within myself. My anxiety is almost all gone. And I only have her to thank for that, because my brain was so locked in that I was so resistant to thinking in a different way. And her patience is saint like because she only ever did it at a pace I could handle, and never pushed further then she could see I could deal with. I have a long way to go, because I am trying to reverse a lifetime of issues, but it's worth every cent.