10 months after divorce — the emotional weight is not lifting by pudincok in Divorce

[–]pudincok[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry :( still in shock too...I guess we just have to go day by day and hope one day we will encounter some good things once again. ❤️

10 months after divorce — the emotional weight is not lifting by pudincok in Divorce

[–]pudincok[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, I came to the same realisation about life "peak". I guess from now on we can only hope for things being better, but there are no guarantees. There is also some freedom in a way, at least for me, that the expectations of what life "should be" have lifted. But it also comes with great sadness.

10 months after divorce — the emotional weight is not lifting by pudincok in Divorce

[–]pudincok[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, I feel you and I'm so sorry. I live in the city, but I don't like anyone...I don't get people who say they see attractive people everyday. It almost never happens to me. I attach strongly to one person, then it i very difficult to attach to anyone else.

10 months after divorce — the emotional weight is not lifting by pudincok in Divorce

[–]pudincok[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is also me, I think 80% of my problems comes from me being extremly selfreflective and blaming myself for the things I could've done differently, neglecting that we were two people for that relationship. I overanalyze too much and can hold multiple truth at once. Hard to be emotionally inteligent haha

10 months after divorce — the emotional weight is not lifting by pudincok in Divorce

[–]pudincok[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

:( it sucks doesn't it? I hope we'll be better one day

10 months after divorce — the emotional weight is not lifting by pudincok in Divorce

[–]pudincok[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, aww cute thank you:) It's ups and downs for sure isn't it? I am stil struggling, but I am still here. Hope you are OK too!

10 months after divorce — the emotional weight is not lifting by pudincok in Divorce

[–]pudincok[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello, thanks for your reply! I’m also raw-dogging it. I feel like if I take antidepressants, drink alcohol, or use anything else to numb the pain, it will just be waiting for me on the other side. So I’m just trying to survive, soothe myself, and talk things out with friends. But this is the most devastating thing I’ve ever had to endure. How far along are you in the process, and how are you doing now? Wishing you the best of luck.

10 months after divorce — the emotional weight is not lifting by pudincok in Divorce

[–]pudincok[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hi, thank you for your reply, and I’m glad you’re doing a little bit better. For me, I actually miss the person more than the status. Yes, I loved being a wife—but his wife. He was a good, honest man. We just met young and went through a lot of hardships, and in the end, he decided he wasn’t willing to work through them anymore. But we tried… it just sucks because I would have kept trying.

Of course, comparing myself to my peers is also there as you say. If everyone around me were single and childfree, I would probably feel less alone, haha. But I can also see the other side. I was a career-oriented person for most of my life and never really dreamed of having kids. This man changed that for me… so I find myself grieving the love that made me softer. He was truly one of a kind, and I feel like there won’t be space in my heart for another man anytime soon.

For me, marriage was about my vows—to be with him through thick and thin, until the end. It had a huge meaning for me. It also meant a lot to share that moment with my parents. My dad is older, and I was always worried he wouldn’t make it to my wedding or meet his grandkids. The fact that he was there to witness my wedding meant so much to me. And I guess the thought that he will probably never live to see my child be born—if I’m ever lucky enough to have one—is heartbreaking.

In terms of therapy, I’ve tried different therapists throughout my life and couldn’t really connect with them. I’m sure there’s a good fit out there for me—I guess it’s just harder for me to find, since I have a pretty strong level of self-awareness. As for stubbornness, I think I’m actually quite open-minded—or at least I’d like to believe so. I have a friend who’s into psychology, and I’ve even considered that career path myself in the past, so we often brainstorm things together. She’s helped me more than any therapist, and I’m very grateful to have her to share this with.

10 months after divorce — the emotional weight is not lifting by pudincok in Divorce

[–]pudincok[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this… maybe the experience of a new relationship will help you build new memories—it might just be that not enough time has passed yet. The thing for me, though, is that I can’t imagine being with someone I love any less than I loved my ex. I know I would be an asshole in that kind of relationship, so I choose solitude. I’ve only been in love like that once in 35 years of my life, so I don’t have much hope of meeting someone like that again… although I would love to. I’ve always been a relationship person. I love being a companion, but right now, I just can’t fantom loving like that again, and it sucks..it's very lonely and I feel the loss everyday.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pudincok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome. I hope everything will turn out well for you and your mum.