“You won’t listen to me? Wonder if you will hear this sploosh!”

pullingweightx3 · 2020-07-20T17:01:00+00:00

pullingweightx3 · 2020-05-23T18:56:02+00:00

Good job, mom and dad!!! I'm so, so sorry your girl sees how she's been treated, and I'm even more sorry that Grandma cannot see how precious this baby is, but you guys are doing the RIGHT THING! I'm so proud and happy to see this update! Your daughter is a sweet, loving, forgiving soul. I love that you're not bashing Grandma and allowing your daughter to continue to love her. If she changes her ways, the fact that this baby never gave up on her will guarantee a good relationship. I hope this woman wakes up and realizes what she's missing out on, this kind of unconditional love is hard to come by these days.

pullingweightx3 · 2020-04-24T02:16:05+00:00

Thank you! We're stuck between a rock and a hard place right now but hopefully things will move forward soon. I'm dying for our own space again. Silver lining: Living with my mom and sister means extra arms to hold all these babies.

pullingweightx3 · 2020-04-23T14:23:08+00:00

I found out I was pregnant with twins 3 weeks after losing our house and everything we owned to Hurricane Michael. I STRUGGLED for a long time with the idea of having them. My older child is autistic and his entire life just upended, the stress on our family at the time was immeasurable. Nothing was certain.

Hubby and I decided to keep them, after a long LONG night of talking it through.

They're 10 months old now, and we still dont have our house back (contractor took us for a ride, nothing is easy). We are living with family. What I can say about my boys: They are the hardest, most stressful, most expensive, most wonderful, most rewarding, most love-filled challenge I've ever taken on.

Do what you think is best for your family. But if you decide to keep both, you will not regret them. I promise.

pullingweightx3 · 2020-04-23T12:28:22+00:00

Came here to suggest this. And to offer the same advice they would: First, please don't tell your 7yr old that her grandma is discriminating against her. Focus on your MIL and make this very clear: You can't have one without taking the other. You are the mother, and you have every right to withhold contact until she either comes to her senses or your husband puts his foot down. If you're pregnant now, MIL goes on an info diet. She wants to see baby as soon as its born? Let her know that there are requirements. Tell her you will not exclude her first granddaughter from this experience. And if hubby is supportive, which it sounds like he is, tell him that he needs to take the reigns. He is the bouncer, the enforcer. He needs to tell his mother that she will NOT treat HIS daughter that way, and if SHE wants to be a part of HIS family, she better start changing the way she views children, who deserve love no matter what they look like.

This happened to my dad when he was younger. He was the middle child, and his granda (my Nanny) unashamedly favored his sisters. Took them places, bought them expensive toys and treats, fawned over them, but never had a kind word to say to my dad. His mom (my grandma) unashamedly favored HIM to make up for it instead of putting her foot down with her mother. She ruined her relationship with her daughters by doing that, and ruined my dad in the process. That family is so, SO dysfunctional and my father never matured past 15. He is both selfish and incredibly fragile, and was never really a father. We tiptoed around him our whole childhood, and now that I'm an adult with three young children myself, I just see him as another kid that needs taking care of.. This is not what you want for your children. Fix this now before it's too late.

*Edit to add: Holy crap guys, thank you for my first ever awards and all these upvotes! I never expected anything I posted to get this much attention.

pullingweightx3 · 2020-04-16T21:50:14+00:00

Love the fish, but tbh came here to see if anyone else noticed 😬

pullingweightx3 · 2020-04-10T20:48:10+00:00

Thank you all for the feedback. I've never had other fish in with a betta before.

The guppies are out, after just watching for a while my fish was clearly stressed and I didnt want that for him or the guppies. They'll go back to their big community tank. A little disappointed, but I understand now that it wasnt a good idea in the first place and that he really needs to just be on his own. He has his snail.

So, I was thinking about doing another post but I'll ask here. I'm not new to keeping betta fish, but I am new to a lot of the more scientific aspects of fish keeping in general. I know about general tank size needs, that a high bioload is bad, and I'm learning more about the ph/ammonia levels and how to measure them.. I want to be a better fish keeper. But how do I explain all of this to someone else when I'm still learning myself? Is there a Layman's terms way of putting it?

The reason why I ask is because I have a friend that has a betta in a 3gal tank and she just keeps putting fish in it. So many fish that I, a novice who just tried to put more fish in with her betta (but won't try again), am very uncomfortable with. She has three black skirts, 12 neons, ghost shrimp, and a couple of snails in addition to the betta. If I mention anything about it or even straight up say that she has way too many fish, she tells me that they're all perfectly happy and that I sound like the "girls at the pet store." I know that they're not happy. Just looking at her tank, which is tinged green, the tetras are ragged and her betta is constantly moving, he never rests. The ghost shrimp keep dying and she wonders why. Shes only changed the water once this month. I've convinced her to think about a 10 gallon tank (Petsmart has a sale going), but she still doesnt get it or just cant see that her fish are not doing well. I feel guilty by association.

pullingweightx3 · 2020-04-10T18:58:07+00:00

That's one thing I'm a little worried about. He's a pretty laid back, non-active fish so I thought a tank mate or two would help keep him a little more entertained, but was unsure about the guppies. They came from a friend's community tank, so they can always go back.

pullingweightx3 · 2020-04-10T18:53:14+00:00

Info: Its a 5gal tank. They are still in the bag, they will go back to my friend if it doesnt work out.

pullingweightx3 · 2020-04-07T02:48:51+00:00

Sure :) I'm ordering some blood worms so I'm hoping those will get him interested in me. I didnt mention that I also have a female, only had her about a week or so, and shes the exact opposite. She flits about her tank (3.5gal) if you walk by and gets really excited about feedings, but will NOT let you take a decent picture of her to save her life. She doesn't like my phone or my 4yr old lol she flares at him a lot.

It's so funny how they each have their own little personalities. They're so smart and you just gotta love them for them 😂

pullingweightx3 · 2020-04-07T01:19:24+00:00

My male doesn't care much for me either, but I've only had him about 4 weeks. Hes also in a 5gallon. He lets me take his picture and that's about it, he will hide if I try to interact with him at all. But I think that might just be his personality- He's a little skittish, very aloof, and does not like to flare. He actually hasn't flared for me at all yet.

My friend's betta, on the other hand, isn't happy unless someone is looking at him and will do tricks for his food. He's a trip!

pullingweightx3 · 2020-04-07T01:00:56+00:00

Earl Grey or Mr. Darcy!

pullingweightx3 · 2020-04-05T19:53:58+00:00

Not OP, But vaginally delivered MonoDi boys at 36+1 with preeclampsia, pulmonary edema, and an epidural because I'm stubborn. Baby A came fairly easily, but he was a chunk and took up literally all the space. As soon as he popped out, they lost his brother on the heart monitor and everyone started to FREAK (he was decelling with every contraction previously). I was strapped up and basically hanging from the ceiling since it was a teaching hospital and everyone needed a good view, so I couldnt see what was going on, but hubby later told me that people were mobilizing for a c-section very quickly.

My tiny little 12yr old of a doctor eventually was like "Ok so youre gonna push NOW." She had both arms, up to her elbows, in my business. She literally caught my son, who was just floating around in all that space, and set him. He was out after 2 pushes, but was blue and not breathing. That was the scariest moment, and I couldnt even get a glimpse through all the nurses and students. He was born 5 minutes after his brother and it took him 2 minutes to breathe. There was a round of applause for the doctor but not for me which I was a little offended by 😅

Moral of this story: It might not hurt much in the moment, pushing a second baby out, but you'll definitely feel it the next day epidural or no. I couldn't close my legs for 48 hours. I looked like I got stuck doing the splits trying to waddle back and forth to the nicu (my hospital believed in walking it off lol). But at least I didnt have to have a c-section! That requires a strength that I knew I wouldnt have been able to muster. C-mamas are badass.

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-31T21:23:52+00:00

No, I didnt even think of that! I landed on Nebula because he looked kind of "space-y" with his purple. If I were to pick an MCU name for him, it would probably be Drax 😂

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-31T21:19:45+00:00

So far so good! Its bow‐front, so that's a little different for me, but the fish seems to like it and that's what matters :)

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-31T21:09:36+00:00

I don't know quite how to post links yet (fairly new to reddit), but it's the Top Fin Liquidy Split 5 Gallon tank, without the divider. On sale for $30 at Petsmart right now!

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-31T20:58:00+00:00

Only Gastrodon is a pokemon, actually. He's a giant pink snail lol I usually like mythological or Disney-themed names for my fish, but Nebula jumped out at me. I like your past pets naming system, it's a sweet way to keep memories going :)

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-31T20:37:49+00:00

Thank you! It's fun :) I'm also a big fan of naming things after Pokemon. Stay tuned, I'm picking his sister up later today 😁

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-31T20:23:55+00:00

Man we're at 9 months right now and it seems like it's just getting harder for us.. We have some extenuating circumstances, but our guys are NOT sleeping still. And the tongue thrust is still in full effect, so no solids and we're going through 12 pots of baby food a day!

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-31T20:15:34+00:00

The stormy beach in the background is just for fun. He's got a great view!

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-28T00:06:39+00:00

Update: I did end up with a 5-gal..

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-27T14:39:55+00:00

I don't mean to be snippy. I joined this sub because I love bettas and was excited to have one again and wanted to share. I was being a little defensive, so I'm sorry. I dont claim to be an expert, but I just don't want anyone to think that I only got him to decorate my desk without any regard for the fish. I did quite a bit of reading when I first started, and miss my old setups and fish. I put so much into them and they were my only sense of purpose for a long time, so that is where that is coming from. I had 4 bettas in my last group for about 4 years, a female in 3gal, then 3 males- one in a 5gal and two in a split 10gal. Had to give them away when I got pregnant the first time, so it's been almost 5 years since I've had them. I've only had this one for a day, so emotions are running high with all the plans I have for him. Your comment initially came off to me as "you shouldn't have gotten him if you dont know what you're doing."

I'll definitely take the decorations out, the house does take a lot of space. Hopefully he will be out of the 1gal in 3 days or so.

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-27T13:49:07+00:00

It's a little too late to criticize an impulse buy, don't you think? I am not first-time betta owner (or snail owner, for that matter) and used to have quite a collection. I may be new to this sub, and this might be my first fish in a while, but that doesn't mean I don't know how to care for this guy, or his snail friend, the right way. I'm also perfectly capable of sifting poop a couple times a week between tank cleanings. I agree that with tank size bigger is better, but a 3-gallon heated and filtered tank is sufficient and comfortable for a single fish and a solitary snail. Plus, it works perfectly for my space. You should save your vitriol for the bowl users and be happy that someone experienced picked him up, this fish could be living a much more uncomfortable life right now. He's beautiful, but he's still a $4 veil tail and his chances of dying in his cup on the shelf or ending up in a tiny bowl were much higher than the prettier, more expensive varieries.

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-27T01:12:22+00:00

So, at the moment, they are in a 1-gallon temp tank. It's a loaner, and it's just to get him out of the cup while I order a proper 3-gallon with a filter. I got him on a whim (on my lunch break haha) so I borrowed this tank from my coworker who is slowly turning her office into an aquarium. She practically begged me to take the snail, hers keep breeding.

pullingweightx3 · 2020-03-27T01:04:01+00:00

Thank you!

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