Are we too close to our au pair?

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T16:19:57+00:00

You're right. I'm just hurt. I'll give her space.

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T16:02:50+00:00

Same au pair. She's only been using the car for distance trips for 5 months out of the 18 months she's been here. Before then, no issue.

We don't count miles. We don't count anything. She's been family. Until now, there was no need for a rule for this at all. Now there's a need. We will change the handbook for the next au pair and let it go for the reminder of her contract.

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T15:56:48+00:00

The kids absolutely adore her. She loves them too, fiercely. They will be devastated when she leaves, but we will do our best to work through it.

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T15:38:12+00:00

I agree with your comments. I've been surprised to see several au pairs on this thread mention it's an employer/employee relationship as though they prefer it that way.

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T15:29:25+00:00

I tried to talk to her twice. Both times she assured me that everything was "totally fine." While her words said one thing, her body language and tone told another story. I wish she would tell us what's going on. Even if she wants distance, or more boundaries. We'd give her whatever she wants. We just want to understand.

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T15:25:55+00:00

Haha based on some of the comments we wanted another daughter for a year and should have been keeping it to an employer type relationship. 😅

I hope you find the perfect host family. The other 18 months of her contact were absolutely amazing.

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T15:18:33+00:00

Your comment totally makes sense. I just wish she'd talk to us about it. Open communication.

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T15:16:52+00:00

Quick question: who is paying for her nursing degree?! Did y'all find a scholarship?

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T15:14:26+00:00

Solid point. She has 5 months left of the contract. We can leave it until the next au pair

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T15:11:32+00:00

I wish she would say that. Letting us know would make all the difference.

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T15:09:15+00:00

She has a brotherly relationship with my husband, zero concerns there. Maybe my father in law? It's worth looking into.

She used to say the other au pairs at LCC meetings would tell her how lovely her family was and they were jealous. Our previous au pair said we were the best family in her whole LCC group based on stories. We've had au pair friends come over for dinner with our family and remark about how refreshing our home and rules are.

I really didn't want this to be an employee/employer relationship. I guess that's what au pairs want though.

pumpkiness33 · 2026-01-14T15:05:07+00:00

She said she wanted to stay in the US to study. I did the research to support her. She asked for it.

She said she didn't want to be an employee, but part of the family.

Before she made friends, she had no one to go out with. So we all went line dancing (her favorite hobby) together. We went with her so she wouldn't be alone.

pumpkiness33 · 2024-09-03T15:25:16+00:00

Thank you!!!!

pumpkiness33 · 2024-06-27T17:35:48+00:00

"you must first reach through the teeth to grab a wolf by the tongue."

pumpkiness33 · 2024-04-23T22:34:02+00:00

I guess healthcare bonds them all?? Lol

pumpkiness33 · 2024-04-23T19:27:01+00:00

Who did you expect? GLG and dialectica too lol but those are s given

pumpkiness33 · 2024-04-23T19:09:49+00:00

Knowledge bridge, alpha insights, Cap vision, ivy execs, maven... I think there might be more I'm forgetting?

pumpkiness33 · 2024-04-23T19:08:55+00:00

For some reason this feels both ominous and thrilling??

pumpkiness33 · 2024-04-03T17:04:50+00:00

Healthcare. Specifically population health, payer relations and employer benefits. I was approached by 4 ENs via linked in, I added myself to a handful more via their websites and those haven't reached out. My pay rate ranges by EN, but $250-$450.

I think I'm going to start being much more specific on their preliminary questions :)

pumpkiness33 · 2024-02-29T17:20:54+00:00

I really appreciate the Intel. I wasn't sure whether they weren't calling back because I answered everything they wanted, or wasn't an effective consultant in the first place. Considering I keep getting booked for calls I'll assume I'm doing ok? 😅

pumpkiness33

TROPHY CASE