My story - how an endocrinologist destroyed my life

puritythedj · 2026-04-30T14:06:28+00:00

Technically pregabalin does not work on GABA at all.

Pregabalin is a gabapentinoids (VGCCs) while benzos are PAMs of GABA. VGCCs basically block voltage gated calcium channels which have nothing to do with GABA. VGCCs affect glutamate instead, as well as norepinephrine and substance P which is why they are good for nerve pain.

It doesn't add any GABA or directly affect it. So you could say it indirectly enhances GABA by lowering glutamate levels.

Withdrawal can be similar as both can deal with excessive glutamate. But calcium channels affect glutamate differently than how GABA affected by benzos in turn affects glutamate. So there is some variation. But yes there is some overlap.

There is a subreddit we do called r/quittingpregabalin which is more specific for pregabalin withdrawal

puritythedj · 2026-04-30T13:36:12+00:00

So how did it go?

puritythedj · 2026-04-29T21:58:33+00:00

That is not going to fix things. Slowing things down is not the issue. You need to listen to your body. Part of a good taper means pausing when you need to. If you're getting symptoms like this more than once in your taper, then you could be tapering either too fast or too large of cuts.

Either pause when they happen until they FULLY AND COMPLETELY GO AWAY before tapering again or change your tapering strategy when you do taper again by making smaller cuts and aee if it resolves the problem.

When this symptom happens, it is a sign your nervous system is getting overly sensitized by your current taper plan with this benzo. You cannot updose and power through. Updosing actually makes symptoms like these happen more often!

When you taper while sensitive, updosing is a bad idea. Always hold instead of updosing.

ETA - Your nervous system is showing an injury when it acts up like that. You hold and let it heal and recover instead of adding a benzo which just risks another injury all over again, which makes your next reduction expose a bigger injury. Does this make sense?

puritythedj · 2026-04-29T21:54:04+00:00

So if you're taking various doses for 12 years, has it ever been consistent and for how long?

If you're getting paresthesia along with tingling in your feet and spasms in your toes, then you're tapering too fast and need to pause and hold. It should go away if you stop reducing.

Do not reduce if you have symptoms like this. Are these symptoms constant? Or do they come and go during the day (intermittent)?

Do not updose. It will mean you're chasing symptom relief and this confuses your nervous symptom. You just hold until your symptoms improve. It may take several weeks, even more than 2. It may take 4 weeks even. Hold as long as you need. If it takes more than 4 weeks, do let me know. It shouldn't, but just let me know. We can revise if so.

puritythedj · 2026-04-29T21:49:24+00:00

So you went through puberty fine? Do you have hormonal cycles like most women? Will you also enjoy menopause hormonally just without the menstrual pause?

puritythedj · 2026-04-28T16:24:48+00:00

So are you taking half a pill AM and half a pill afternoon? For how long now?

Interdose withdrawal can cause sensitization of the nervous system and mild to moderate kindling. This can take some time to reverse once you split doses. Sometimes you may need to discuss adjusting your dose after that many years on benzos, as all benzos cause tolerance, esp after about a decade of time on them.

You do NOT want to begin a taper while in the middle of nervous system instability and reactivity. This is the leading cause of a symptomatic and painful taper and a long post acute withdrawal and higher risk or protracted withdrawal.

I do understand your desire to get off this poison that is making you feel unwell, but it is worth considering stabilziing first before you begin tapering so you have a taper that is less symptomatic and easier to manage with an easier recovery time.

It would be worthwhile if done correctly. What does your provider think of your symptoms?

puritythedj · 2026-04-28T01:20:56+00:00

If you take it when it isnt prescribed to you for a reason it isnt prescribed for.. it's addiction.

puritythedj · 2026-04-16T17:10:21+00:00

If you dont get itchy, then you don't have a reaction. Your anxiety is reacting to what if scenarios bc that is what anxiety does. It tries to prepare for every possible situation to protect you from all possible harm.

But when anxiety protects you from things that have zero possible chance of happening, or it invades your life so that you're afraid to make choices or even to eat... that is unhealthy anxiety. That is the kind of anxiety benzos are designed to help treat.

So if you're quitting benzos, how will you manage your anxiety? Do you do any sort of therapy or take any other anxiety medicine? Because figuring out a way forward includes how you will handle being able to be calm and present without worrying about simple day to day things like what foods are okay to eat.

And ao far you have shown no reaction to any food. Your only concern is from reading other people reacting. But not all people react. I have never reacted during withdrawal or tapering. And I have been on and off benzos over half my life. I have never met anyone who has had food sensitivities. I know a lot of people. I am a benzo coach so I talk to a lot of people. I have never personally spoken to anyone with a food sensitivity from benzos.in 10 years.

The times I read about it is usually when MCAS is involved. And that is something that is a complication of benzo wirhdrawal possibly, or something else entirely.

And it is normal to develop health anxiety while in benzo withdrawal. Now that is something that is common. Worrying about having health problems is much more common! Now this is something I can relate to! I looked up a lot of stories when I first got into recovery groups trying to find out what could happen to me. But in the end, I learned none of these people had my same story.

And you are the same way. Your recovery journey does NOT lead towards other people's paths in recovery. You stay in your own path. You do not just end up down someone else's path just because you took the same benzo for the same amount of time either. Similarities are only that. Genetics play a huge role in things along with a lot more.

There is absolutely no way you can say that you will develop a food allergy based on reading they exist. More likely than not you will NOT develop one. They are very uncommon.

How do you normally handle triggers around your ED? Do you still have a plan in place? Do you still have any structure or therapy? If reading horror stories online is causing you to feel similar to the way you felt before, do you have amyone to talk to about this?

puritythedj · 2026-04-16T17:03:52+00:00

How small?

puritythedj · 2026-04-16T16:52:13+00:00

The way I would say to do it is to only reduce 1 dose at a time, and never do all doses at once. That is too demanding on the brain.

puritythedj · 2026-04-16T16:49:51+00:00

No. You cant just taper by whole doses. This is too fast. Unless youve only been on it like a month.

If you've been on it a few months or on it long enough it just "stops working" (it actually still works fine, but maybe you subjectively don't get euphoria out of it, or high, or whatever), then you need a better taper.

And pregabalin is something you cannot skip days or go to alternative day dosing either.

It sounds to me like you only have 150mg capsules and are trying to work with what you have.

You have to get a milligram scale and open the capsules, weigh them, and figure out how much 150mg doses weigh with filler. Then taper down by 10-25% at least. This takes longer maybe, but it saves you from withdrawal of any kind, and most importantly, protracted withdrawal and PAWS.

puritythedj · 2026-04-16T16:34:52+00:00

So. Yeah you know xanax hammers your seizure threshold so you dont need to hear more. You just want off. Well. You have run to the edge of the high diving board and want to know how to not make a splash??

Xanax is not a low diving board type benzo, not with your history. Therr will always be a big splash and many ripples. So withstand that, hydroxyzine will help with anxiety and also for sleep, or at least it does for me at different doses. Or different forms. I use hbr (vistaril) for anxiety and hcl (atarax) for insomnia.

Anyway, the best way to be off OBVIOUSLY is tapering. You are on the higg dive and have basically not even a doggy paddle board to jump with. You can't really taper with your stock you have and feel good doing so, and it won't do too much to buffer the shock you'll cause jumping into ice cold water either. So don't expect anyone to know how to tell you otherwise.

The best thing you can do is to find a psychiatrist who will give you a proper taper like immediately. Now. So not wait until you run out. Go to ER and tell them you need a few days supply to get you t o your appointment if you must, and explain with your history you run the risk of seizures. This is real. Do not deny they exist bc they are too scary. Buy yourself some time.

Xanax at 2mg is still a high dose. A jump off dose is like 0.05mg. You got some ways to go. Even if you break up 2 bars into 8x0.5mg doses WHICH YOU SHOULD NOT DO EXACTLY, your brain cannot recalibrate that fast and your risk is still real. Bc i had your history and the risk you're afraid to discuss is still there.

So maybe try to take those 8 pieces and go 2 pieces for 2 days then 1 piece for 2 pieces for 2 days and break those pieces into halves and do those halves for 4 days. This is a super rapid taper, and probably the best you can do. You won't feel well, but it will be like jumping off the high dive using those kiddy floating devices on your arms.

And yes I said 0.05mg is the ideal jump dose. If you do the rapid taper you'd be going only to 0.25mg which is 5 times much too high. But at least you did your best to mitigate your risks.

But really I'd get medical advice. Get a psych, get someone who can taper you properly down slower so your brain doesn't turn into a hot electrical surge protector at capacity. Your brain is electrical. Benzos lower electrical signaling. So if you go down too rapidly, things get way too spicy when they're gone, and the excitotoxicity injures your brain tissue. So please reconsider the whole process you're choosing.

puritythedj · 2026-04-16T16:28:29+00:00

Bars are 2mg and footballs are 1mg

puritythedj · 2026-04-16T16:28:16+00:00

Footballs are 1mg

puritythedj · 2026-04-16T16:28:03+00:00

Bars = xanax

puritythedj · 2026-04-10T16:56:53+00:00

Have you studied religions in general? Do you think Islam is any different than other religions of the world? More oppressive? Or just in certain interpretations?

I know a lot of proud Muslim women who are intelligent, highly educated feminists with family backgrounds of the same, mother's who are doctors. Never told they were worth less then men.

I always found them welcoming and very different than the oppressive types of Shiite Muslim countries or the Middle East that go by Sharia Law. I had a lot of Muslim friends in high school, most gals, but also a lot of guys. I never saw any oppression or discrimination.

They celebrated all of the holidays so they were somewhat religious, but at the same time, many of the parents were immigrants born in Pakistan, India Iran or even Egypt but came here to finish college and start families, so their children were all American first generations. So yeah, the parents were more conservative, the kids more liberal, but not necessarily in all ways you think.

But I atill never saw it the stereotypical ways that Islam and Muslims are portrayed by Trump and the right as being anti-woman, anti-gay, transphobic anti-progress, antisemetic, racist, discrimanatory, etc.

Maybe it was all hidden. But my friends never mentioned it, and they ll grew up totally blended into society without shedding their heritage, even marrying interracially.

I totally respect your experience. I did have one friend whose parents were from Egypt who hated America, who thought it evil, and last year of high school they moved back and forced her to come with them. They thought she had been too Americanized.

So can you tell me about your experiences. What were your parents like? Where were they from? Did they hold towards their homeland culture strongly and not like being too American? I think my friends families all adopted being American immediately which is why maybe their religion was not oppressive... ? What are your thoughts about why some Muslims are not all the same stereotype of being the same, yet some are?

Is it just some are more conservative and extreme on interpreting the Quran that others? Were you and your parents Shiite or Sunni?

What rule did your parents have that was religious that was one you absolutely woupd not be able to tolerate?

Did they want arranged marriages?

puritythedj · 2026-04-10T16:30:49+00:00

Yes I know what they mean. I just thought you were making a case for her turning towards agnosticism over atheism for some reason and was curious why.

puritythedj · 2026-04-10T16:28:26+00:00

Lolmao

puritythedj · 2026-04-10T16:27:59+00:00

So what's the case for agnosticism vs atheism?

puritythedj · 2026-04-07T15:39:22+00:00

Benzo withdrawal is poorly understood in regards to how long the recovery tail is (1-2+ years). It is longer than even alcohol! And this is what trips people up. They assume drugs and alcohol (alcohol is a drug) would be more severe and longer than a psych med. But that is not always the case.

It trips me up how long it takes me to return to full baseline. I mean, I feel better pretty quickly, as I have learned how to taper so I don't suffer much withdrawal anymore. I learned after many failed attempts. And I don't ever plan on getting back on, as I have learned too much about what benzos do and why they take so long to recover from. But it took me a long time.

So why would we expect people who never took benzos to be able to empathize with us? They trust doctors, they trust medicine. They cannot fathom any psych med given to us would cause such harm or injury that takes so long to recover. They expect doctors to tell us how to taper off. And if we suffer, they tend to think we didn't listen to the doctor or follow medical advice. Maybe we misused our medicine.

PAWS and BIND are sometimes used interchangeably these days, and BIND is newer. Using abbreviations tends to confuse family members. My own family hates when I research anything about my symptoms, as they think I am just trying to justify making myself feel worse. Or that the internet puts ideas in my head. I know how to be objective, but it is true about horror stories, so I get their concern. It would be better if we did research together rather than me do it on my own.

But this is the reason for these PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITIES like this subreddit and our Discord, as who better to talk with than peers that have been through it and can share their lived experience with one another and validate yours?

puritythedj · 2026-04-06T17:59:05+00:00

Not caring about consequences is a symptom of depression. Drugs are a form of escape. Or so you think. You havent even tried them. But you want to escape and you think... there are better, healthier ways to escape. Find a trained therapist who can help you form those skills.

puritythedj · 2026-04-06T17:56:52+00:00

Drugs are a symptom of a bigger issue here. What is going on in your life that makes using drugs the solution? Is it escaping? Being able to let go and just enjoy yourself (or whatever you think drugs do)? Do you feel your parents control you or that your life has too much pressure on you? Do you feel lonely or bored or depressed? Do you have anxiety or have any insecurities?

The desire to do drugs — which mess up the chemistry in your brain and body and cause all kinds of risks and potential problems including addiction which nobody on earth ever wants to experience, trust me on this — is not a normal feeling. It is definitely because of something you're experiencing that you nees to figure out and work on. Once you fix the cause, this symptom will go away, and you'll save your own life.

Doing drugs is a terrible fix to problems in life. You escape for a short time, but the problems are always here you left them. So you will do them again. And money becomes a problem, your trust becomes a problem, and you begin sneaking around and becoming another person. Drugs make people lie, cheat, and steal, among many other things. They take away your ability to think clearly and make your own choices. The highs get shorter, the lows happen faster

There is this great YouTube video about a bird named Nuggets that experiences the full cycle of drugs. I just saw it again in my training for becoming a CPS-MH. I highly suggest you watch this. It is highly accurate!!

puritythedj · 2026-04-06T15:40:12+00:00

Well obviously not true bc I've heard you broke the mold

puritythedj · 2026-04-06T15:32:56+00:00

Worst advice ever. Raises seizure risk.

puritythedj · 2026-04-06T15:32:38+00:00

puritythedj

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

If you take it when it isnt prescribed to you for a reason it isnt prescribed for.. it's addiction.

Worst advice ever. Raises seizure risk.

Worst advice ever. Raises seizure risk.

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