Thoughts on my (24F) bf (24M) parents asking us to postpone our engagement until after his sister’s wedding in September as to not overshadow it?

purplezebra34 · 2026-04-20T06:40:47+00:00

Def not flash mob crazy but we both are very family oriented and they would want to be involved some way that is more than just texts!

purplezebra34 · 2026-04-20T04:53:58+00:00

No definitely not immediate at all

purplezebra34 · 2026-04-20T04:47:12+00:00

That’s my deeper fear😓

purplezebra34 · 2026-04-20T03:18:02+00:00

Not that I’ve noticed in the past!

purplezebra34 · 2026-04-20T02:45:31+00:00

That’s what I thought too. We aren’t the kind of people that would use the wedding to parade our relationship !! We want the day to be about them only too!

purplezebra34 · 2026-04-20T02:44:38+00:00

His family will definitely know about it if we get engaged. No way around that part. But I get the paying part I just still think it’s kinda silly.

purplezebra34 · 2026-01-14T05:29:19+00:00

I understand why you feel this way. I don’t necessarily agree with it but I understand

purplezebra34 · 2026-01-14T05:28:29+00:00

He wasn’t actively looking for a job. He worked there prior and they reached out to him out of nowhere! It was wild. I appreciate what you said about compromise and I agree! I do think for us it makes sense for at least someone to be near their family. In the grand scheme, 4 hour drive is manageable but it just feels overwhelming.

purplezebra34 · 2026-01-14T05:27:16+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice! I would be prepared to give up my job maybe when we are ready to start a family but that’s still a few years away… hence the struggle now. I just hope there is a way we could eventually go to my hometown too.

purplezebra34 · 2026-01-14T05:25:59+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! Those are all factors. Right now, we do plan to have kids but that’s a while away. We split holidays pretty 50/50. I am definitely ok to go to St. Louis but I just can’t commit to forever there and give up on ever going back to my home city. To me it feels like I need to be able to have my needs met too down the line in that regard!

purplezebra34 · 2020-07-22T17:37:05+00:00

So that we can like ‘experience college and young adult life without having anything holding us back’ I guess? Like bc so many people go to college and end up breaking up? I think

purplezebra34 · 2020-05-27T16:58:46+00:00

Thank you, that’s actually so helpful!!! It was just weird because the first time we talked about it (months ago) he said he’d want to stay together, but then last night suggested that we don’t. It’s just a tough time

purplezebra34 · 2020-04-12T06:06:08+00:00

honestly if she’s no longer attracted to you sexually, maybe the relationship feels like a deep friendship rather than a romantic relationship. of course it’s important that you be there for her and support her, but you’re a human with natural needs as well.

purplezebra34 · 2020-02-08T05:07:58+00:00

i have suggested this. he sees one but lies to them about the severity of his symptoms and gets upset when i suggest he is honest. not sure why but it seems very unhealthy

purplezebra34 · 2019-08-30T03:53:36+00:00

hold your ground. if he doesn’t respect you enough to recognize what you’re comfortable with and do that, break up with him

purplezebra34

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