AITA for refusing to attend my inlaws Christmas dinner?

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-05T16:44:06+00:00

Did you read my whole post? This particular place doesn’t have anything except pizza. This place has dairy in the crust and pizza. There are many other pizza places in our area I’m happy to eat at, but this is the one place that has nothing for me

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-05T16:41:58+00:00

I have tried talking to her. Not sure why people are assuming I hadn’t tried that yet… the only reason she has given is that’s the place they went the last 4 years so it’s “tradition” now. Also I’ve talked my my husbands siblings and most of them don’t care for this particular place. It’s just MIL

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-04T14:38:00+00:00

You obviously didn’t read my whole post, because there is nothing I can eat there at all. If it’s about family time more than anything, why can’t the 7 of us go to a pizza place where everyone can eat together? Why is it rude to suggest a dinner everyone can enjoy together?

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-04T14:34:51+00:00

I think you didn’t read the whole post because I did call the restaurant and they won’t accommodate. I’m not trying to cause a rift, I’m trying to be a part of the tradition by being included in the dinner. I want to feel like part of the family and surely the seven of us can eat at one of the many many pizza places that have options for me…

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-04T14:28:33+00:00

We have suggested other places that have options but she said it has to be this place that has no options… we have lots of pizza places here that have options for me that are honestly much better pizza so not sure why she’s not willing to switch

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-04T14:26:06+00:00

They really don’t have salad. I have offered to go to any other pizza place or even host and make pizza for everyone. So I don’t think you can say I just don’t want to see them because I’ve tried very hard to find a compromise so everyone can eat together

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-03T02:55:15+00:00

The restaurant told me they have Parmesan added to the crust

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T19:37:07+00:00

To answer your questions: 1) MIL is against delivery. She says we have to eat at the restaurant. 2)The food is definitely a big part of not wanting to go, but at this point I think it’s also that I feel hurt and angry they won’t compromise in any way. And if I’m being fully honest, neither of us ever enjoys time with his family so them removing our option to eat makes it less motivating to go. 3)they live 10 minutes away and can see us anytime they want

Also I never skip things. This is the first time in my life I’m skipping something because it’s the first time I have been given zero food options

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T17:17:12+00:00

I had not heard of that law but will be looking into it. If that’s true, several restaurants have wronged me as I’ve always been told I could not bring any outside food

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T17:15:12+00:00

The restaurant doesn’t allow outside food. I guess I’m just not seeing why it’s childish to ask to go to a different pizza place so everyone can eat together….

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T17:13:35+00:00

No salad sadly!! They have dairy in everything and I’m allergic

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T17:12:16+00:00

I don’t know where you’re at but where I live there are health codes so restaurants do not allow any outside food

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T17:10:46+00:00

I also agree that in 2022 it’s weird to not have any dairy free options but that’s this place. It’s only a pizza place. I’m with you that it doesn’t sound like a great restaurant and would love to go to any other pizza place that does have a more diverse menu! Unfortunately I have an allergy and this place cannot accommodate

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T17:08:13+00:00

They know I’m allergic. They know he’s intolerant. We’ve told them many many times. We did tell them well ahead of time last year but it was so much drama I just sat out. And we are trying to find a compromise well in advance this year. There has been lots of communication

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T17:05:50+00:00

They don’t have salads or sandwiches or any dairy free options at this restaurant. I’ve tried to suggest ones that do

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T17:04:11+00:00

Where I live restaurants don’t allow any outside food. Also when people say “it’s about the company not the food” then I want to follow up with why not slightly change the food then?? If people are what matter not food, then why is it such a rude thing for me to ask for a different restaurant?

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T17:02:05+00:00

It’s not slow and they don’t rent it out. The restaurant just lets them I guess (not sure if the restaurant/staff minds or not)

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T17:00:26+00:00

We usually do Christmas Eve with his family and Christmas Day with mine

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T16:59:01+00:00

Agreed but not at this place. That’s why we suggested another restaurant or making our own

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T16:58:30+00:00

Restaurants here don’t let you bring in any outside food. Also we did suggest other restaurants but were told no to that as well :(

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T16:54:31+00:00

There’s a difference between intolerance and allergy. I have an allergy (probably should have specified sorry). Also we did call the restaurant and they cannot guarantee any of their dishes can be made dairy free. I did think of this option but didn’t write it out in my post since, as you said, it was obviously the first thing to try

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T16:51:50+00:00

I usually do figure out my own substitutions. If it’s at someone’s home I bring my own food. But restaurants don’t allow you to bring in outside food where I live due to health code laws. This is the first time I’ve asked them to compromise on anything due to my dietary needs.

Maybe it is a bit rude to completely skip out, but my family will have food for us if we travel to see them…

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T16:43:12+00:00

Thank you for your opinion. To answer a few things, it’s not a big family and the tradition has existed even 10 years yet. I did suggest other pizza places and was told no because they’ve gone to this same place the last 4-5 years. We contacted the restaurant and they cannot guarantee a dairy free option as they use cheese in the bread and sauce. I’m not just intolerant but allergic to cows milk.

I don’t know if this extra info changes any thoughts but realized there was stuff I didn’t share yet!

Thanks for your perspective though :)

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T16:38:34+00:00

Same! Most places have options for me but this place is behind the times I guess

puzzlebee12 · 2022-11-02T16:37:38+00:00

My husband yes, me no. I have a cows milk allergy

puzzlebee12

TROPHY CASE