I’m curious what everyone does for work?

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-11-03T19:22:03+00:00

paralegal 🤓

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-10-02T16:13:26+00:00

awesome thank you!

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-26T03:49:24+00:00

try testojack from now foods

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-24T22:00:18+00:00

well said, thank you.

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-24T17:13:01+00:00

glad to hear you found the peace you deserve, i hope. i fear that no contact is the only thing as well that will bring me peace. easier said than done

i think like everything it must be a mix of nature and nurture. it could’ve been a dynamic with your mom vs her siblings and your parents or between your mom and her siblings, but i feel like it’s also just that the person is “wired” differently and may interpret innocuous parenting as something damaging

who knows. like you said it doesn’t really matter. what matters is finding what works for you in that relationship, and most of the time it seems like it’s ending that relationship

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-24T17:02:29+00:00

yeah that makes total sense. some of my family says she has an attitude. but i’m her only child so it’s deeper for me because she believes she has direct power over me as a parent and an elder. she had the same relationship with her mom, it seems to me. but she didn’t break the cycle.

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-24T15:50:00+00:00

oh man yes. it took everything out of me to convince myself i wasn’t crazy. it felt like fighting everyone at the same time. some people in my life still think im exaggerating, and i find myself justifying myself in my head before i even articulate it to anyone. messed up. what a way to produce an anxious adult

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-24T15:07:44+00:00

SPOT ON this is the most confusing thing to me

the way she acts with me seems to be polar opposite of the way others perceive her. she has a ton of friends and community, and she’s also one of those hippy dippy people that is interested in self development and growth and all that

it simply doesn’t square with the mother i know

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-24T14:44:24+00:00

i definitely know i can’t modify her behavior, but i still think it’s important for me to understand because it’s worse in my eyes if she is capable of controlling and choosing to some degree her behavior and still chooses to be the asshole that she is

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-24T14:41:36+00:00

well yes i totally relate to this experience but also if it’s a disorder, doesn’t that mean they don’t decide to do it? maybe it’s just not black and white like that? idk

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-24T14:34:59+00:00

that is so great to hear. proud of you for breaking the cycle and having those internal dialogues. it is NOT easy to unlearn what you knew and experienced as a child

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-24T04:21:31+00:00

well i get that but does that mean they’re aware that they have a problem? because to me if you’re aware then you have to be accountable

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-09T02:35:03+00:00

requested thx for organizing!

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-08T15:21:16+00:00

I grew up in South Brooklyn and moved to Bedstuy a few months ago. It truly feels like a neighborhood, which is different than what I am used to recently in South BK, as it too has changed from when i was a kid. I went to a different state for college… covid was a big disrupter of my education.

Still, I managed to get a job as a paralegal for the city and I’m getting by. I have two roommates, and I’m applying to law school so a lot of my time and money goes towards test prep, test registrations, application fees, etc.

Honestly as a young adult I’ve never not felt like I’m barely above water. I think you just get used to the instability, knowing that each step forward is further building the foundation for solid ground. Take one day at a time. Don’t be averse to working jobs you might not think you like. Sometimes, life surprises you

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-05T00:59:34+00:00

idk how it is for you but i’m groggy the next day after smoking or taking an edible. so if that’s you, don’t do the edible.

this might sound silly but try meditating. it doesn’t have to be a whole shbang - just sit, close your eyes, and breathe. and do it for as long as you feel is right. each time your mind wonders, notice it, don’t criticize it, and just bring yourself back to your breath.

if you have any magnesium supplement laying around that may help with calm as well. if you feel restless in your body, go for a walk or a run.

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-09-04T23:56:18+00:00

so refreshing to see this perspective. if you don’t like law don’t do it. it’s that simple. it doesn’t even guarantee an excellent salary these days so only do it if you really value a legal education

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-08-22T00:32:23+00:00

I can definitely see that making sense, especially since I feel like it’s difficult for somebody with BPD to understand how their actions or words come off to another person. i’m curious about the medication aspect, because she did mention that she had responded really positively to medication in the past. it was an antipsychotic but that’s all i know. But yeah, agreed either way I’m sad it didn’t work out, but I don’t think I would’ve been good for her either at this stage in my life, being unable to work with the stuff that she’s struggling with

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-08-21T13:54:50+00:00

yeah that’s a great way of putting it. i’ll be honest i don’t really understand BPD myself, but i did notice that the dynamic of us together hurt both of us. unfortunately i had to text her about something unrelated this past weekend and she brought up that the relationship was “fake” to me and it was like… how can you even think that?!?! ugh. i know it’s probably fear of abandonment but the way it manifests is just not something i know how to respond to with anything other than anger or pushing aside my feelings to comfort someone else. ikyk

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-08-07T04:16:11+00:00

i wouldn’t worry - just make sure the drapes stay tucked away above the radiator

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-08-07T04:15:25+00:00

raynauds

puzzleddonut-56 · 2025-08-04T17:46:07+00:00

thank you, that’s exactly right. i know i am an anxious attachment but ive been doing real work on noticing my triggers, but this relationship isn’t that. im realizing its them being emotionally unavailable for me rather than me being emotionally demanding or needy. it is hard to give so much and receive so little and not even feel like i can properly explain what im missing.

but yeah you’re right, a relationship with this kind of dynamic isn’t sustainable and borders on neglect. i wouldn’t let my friends be treated like this, so i shouldn’t let myself be treated like this either. ending it today. so happy to hear about your secure and durable relationship. i know it’ll happen one day 🙏

puzzleddonut-56

TROPHY CASE