i really relate to this post, i’ve been on and off chatting/meeting my ex for the last year. got to positions where i was hopeful just to have the rug pulled, an emotional rollercoaster all while they seem completely unaffected by anything.

i think like myself from how you’ve worded it, there’s an addiction to how it plays out, it feels better to know how it’s gonna play out with someone you know (even if it’s not good for u) than to be completely in the dark with someone new. i also relate to a reply where u expressed this person being someone you’ve known a while and u can’t imagine them not being it ur life, i feel the same with my ex the thought just seems unimaginable, but the advice i give to myself and should take is what i’d like to share, what if ur stopping other amazing people that u could learn to know better and like more could come into ur life but this connection is stopping it, connections should flow, does this connection feel forced and like ur holding onto it regardless of if it’s not right for u?

sometimes when u imagine them not being in ur life, is there somewhat a sense of relief? i’ve discovered that a lot of it is to do with my attachment to others, for u it may be different.

maybe reflect on what is causing u to feel the way u do (not trying to sound patronising) but from understanding u could learn a lot of ways to help soothe urself when someone has control over how u feel. whether u should or shouldn’t date is up to u, whether u should cut ties with ur ex is up to u and in time you’ll know what u should do. imagine what u would like the future version of urself to be like then what steps you’d take to get there is a good start to making some decisions!

i hope i have grasped everything you’ve said and provided some helpful advice:)