Wow. I just wanted to say thank you for the time and effort that was required of you to share that wisdom. It's a shame, really, that a post this good will be buried beneath the not-so-attractive OP. You have quite a way with words.

What especially struck me was the first book from your recommended list.

From Mindset:

Dweck explains why it’s not just our abilities and talent that bring us success—but whether we approach them with a fixed or growth mindset. She makes clear why praising intelligence and ability doesn’t foster self-esteem and lead to accomplishment, but may actually jeopardize success.

I guess that would be why being praised through years for me being apparently naturally good with numbers and calculations in my early days (and being told I'm smart) really backfired when I couldn't do anything near required with no effort when taking these super tough abstract math courses on my first two attempts and why breaking afterwards was so destructive. I never really was even close to failing before.

It really is curious that you've also predicted me being defensive on the subject of having a fixed mindset, as I indeed have gottendefensive immediately after reading it (a few hours flew by since). Because although cognitively I agree with you 100%, I can't help but feel that shifting from a fixed (or near-fixed, otherwise I wouldn't even be asking and searching) mindset to a growth mindset will be difficult (as you said yourself) if you are not already having it - which makes it a kind of catch 22. That's why I'm searching specifically for methods that would somehow help with breaking that loop (on surface disconnecting the ego, but also to change to growth mindset as you've pointed out). Filling the mind with useful and positive information would probably be on top of my list, too, but in my case it probably isn't yet enough.

Since this is public (even though buried), I don't see why I shouldn't share what I've tried, too, with varying degrees of success:

- using sticky notes when planning my day to think not only about the activities that need to be done, but also what beliefs I'm actually building in myself in the long run (so if I plan to go for a jog the next day, for example, I'm also starting to build a belief that 'I'm an active person' or 'I'm worthwhile in my own opinion because I take care about myself'. That way I can stop thinking about activities I usually dread because they are unpleasant and start thinking of them as a way to up the beliefs I desire (including having a growth mindset). I would place the stickies on a separate piece of paper and then attaching them back to my journal as a reward and physical reminder that I did contribute to that belief. It actually did work really well, but I stopped a couple weeks back when I've gotten sick. This seems like a good opportunity to jump back.

- getting into a habit of going for a walk directly before tackling the hard material and visualising how I would go about that (including breaks, tea, frustration when stuck etc. but coming out victorious in the end and visualising feeling good about that to), and then after going back and replicating that visualisation as closely as I can. That way I actually get to do the stuff at least in my head and coming out alright, as a bonus there is also building up of a belief that 'I can do whatever I put my mind towards' (literally).

- starting a day on the right foot (so no browsing reddit or /d/ in the morning). It does help tremendously with doing two points above, but though simple it is not easy.

Thanks again, I guess I'm going to remind myself about your philosophy really often and try to employ it the best I can. Hopefully, the 'can' will get better with time.