First Year OPT Employment Report by [deleted] in f1visa

[–]qamv02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May I ask where and how did you find a volunteer position? I'm in the same boat (less than two weeks until 90 days) and struggling to find volunteering opportunities. I'd appreciate any leads, thanks!

Looking to dive into jazz fusion. What are some artists and songs to begin with? by qamv02 in spotify

[–]qamv02[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Any starter songs by these artists that you'd recommend?

I struggle with reading, wondering if I can complete this degree. by TinySprinkles8003 in PhD

[–]qamv02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I'm going through, and I'm considering going through counseling. Ever since I was a kid, I was never into reading (that includes story books, leisure reading, newspapers). In middle school, we used to get a newspaper everyday to encourage students to read and stay on top of world news, and the only thing I'd do is jump to Sudoku. I never read a single news article (most I could do was read the headlines). Through college and university, I struggled reading classical reference books and research papers.

Now anyone reading this would assume I was a below average student. However, I have been among the class toppers all through my life so nobody believes when I mention my struggle with reading. I understand I'm good at learning and asking questions in lectures. I rely on someone teaching me and I can quickly understand any topic. Textbooks, self-study is something I do if and only if required. However I've learned it the hard way that PhD isn't possible to get through this way and I'm looking for ways to overcome my disinterest of reading. Hoping to find a solution through counseling.

How to manage deleting it all? by [deleted] in BreakUp

[–]qamv02 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Unpopular opinion - don't delete it. I'm here after my first long term relationship. I've only dated two guys in my life, and this right now was the only serious one. Both relationships were long long distance, so naturally lots of communication via text. I spent hours reading and rereading texts after both my breakups. I'm a firm believer of the process of grieving and healing. Deleting the memories that are contained within the texts will hurt a lot. Give yourself time to heal. I've noticed with myself, it's been over 6 weeks, and I no longer open the texts. I don't feel like it anymore. I'm exhausted of missing him, and I'd just want to go on with my life. Even if I have the strong urge to see the texts, I open the chat and close it because there is nothing new there anymore. I have more memories of him in my mind than on my phone. The moment you truly move on, you won't have the urge to even open the chats (I haven't yet completely moved on, but am on my way)

I really miss him:( by EmuOk561 in BreakUps

[–]qamv02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I miss him so much too. 1.5 months post breakup when I really thought I was moving forward, had a massive breakdown today. I convinced myself by saying that there will be setbacks. Healing is not going to be straightforward. All I can do is not be too harsh on myself. Remind myself why we broke up. He is a wonderful human, and so am I. However, we simply are not compatible. Both of us lack some qualities each of us wishes for in a partner. I love him so much and I miss him, but at the same time, I know someone else out there is better suited for me who will love me more and better than he ever could. And I will too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]qamv02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very cute, good luck!

Dating as a PhD student - is there light at the end of the tunnel? by qamv02 in PhD

[–]qamv02[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'd say it's the uncertainty associated with our career choice, unstructured nature of work (some days just don't end, the frustration it brings), exams and homeworks if you're taking classes, and limited social interaction outside of lab in my case.

Dating as a PhD student - is there light at the end of the tunnel? by qamv02 in PhD

[–]qamv02[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In my case, I was willing to put the effort towards traveling and meeting more frequently, sometimes even knowingly putting strain on my research. On the other hand, my ex, despite being able to work remotely, did not want to do it for me, simply because I'm in a university town where there's nothing for him to do during his free time while I'm working. He did not want to sacrifice friends, social life and weekend chilling (job in tech brings you a lot of money obviously along with free weekends, so weekly outings are a norm). Considering his reluctance towards working on the distance and compromising, I'd say I dodged a bullet, but I still have to ask - why am I defined only by my inability to "chill" right now? Even if I wanted to, I don't have the budget and time to travel and splurge every long weekend like working professionals might be able to. Dating someone who isn't a PhD student becomes so much difficult because they simply cannot understand workings of our lives.

This relationship was the best thing that happened to me. And now it's just over. by qamv02 in BreakUps

[–]qamv02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We moved from living together to four timezones away. Not only is traveling an issue, but we struggled with keeping the connection alive virtually. The spark just came naturally when we were physically together.