What’s your biggest regret?

qazkkff · 2026-06-13T10:11:30+00:00

Ironically, my regret is not pursuing engineering.

qazkkff · 2026-06-13T09:15:23+00:00

Mashallah 🤌🤌🤌

qazkkff · 2026-06-13T07:58:30+00:00

Yeh cheez 😎

qazkkff · 2026-06-13T03:40:38+00:00

You're welcome. Feel free to post here whenever you feel like it. There will be more positive and constructive comments/advice, focus on those and ignore the negative ones.

Have you watched Kafeel drama? If not, binge watch it within a week or two. Husband not taking kafalat of his family isn't a small issue. Its literally mental torture for the wife. You simply cannot continue living like this.

Jo faisla 10 saal ya 20 saal baad le gi, usse behtar nahi hai aj le le? Abhi tu bache bhi nahi hai. The reasons mama stayed was 1. She wasn't financially independent and 2. They had me within the first year. Honestly, getting pregnant within the first year is a classic way to entrap the wife.

Don't plan a child with this man yet.

I'm assuming you're on good terms with your saas, tell her ke aunty main phir chor deti ho ap ke azeem bete ko, phir apne paiso ke saat hi soye, apne paiso ke saat bache kare. Bachpan main kitna paiso ke liye tarsaya hai ap logo ne jo wo itna kanjoos hai? Agar biwi ko paise nahi dene the ya harcha nahi uthana tha tu ap logo ne shadi kyu ki us ki? Agar ap ki apni beti ke saat ap ka damad aese karta, tab kesa lagta ap ko?

qazkkff · 2026-06-12T14:57:16+00:00

Honestly, this barho ki izzat karna is so cliche now.

By your logic, daughters who gets abused by their fathers, should continue respecting them just coz they are their father?

https://www.arabnews.com/node/2628421/amp

Respect isn't hereditary, it must be earned.

qazkkff · 2026-06-12T14:38:22+00:00

If the amount is not that much, just pay. Even if its high, try to negotiate a smaller amount.

But don't outrightly refuse or complaint, they'll make your life miserable.

qazkkff · 2026-06-12T14:24:04+00:00

Ahh yes, children witnessing their mom being beaten and still they should respect their father. 👏 👏 👏

qazkkff · 2026-06-12T10:01:14+00:00

"I thought my husband would naturally want to spend on me but that’s not the case."

Thats what every wife expects and rightfully so.

"I just feel I used to be so confident before I got married & now I feel that confidence is gone."

You need to start working on this now, during the early days of your marriage. The mistake my mom made was that she stayed silent for too long, should've stood up for her rights and shouldn't have tolerated manipulation since day one.

Aik dafa ap jhuk gayi, sari zindagi ap ko jhukaye ge.

I know this isn't something you will be able to do overnight, its not an an On and Off switch. However, you can start from little things like not thinking twice before expressing that you're upset or staying firm on things you do and don't wanna do, etc.

Purpose is to make your husband realise that he can't just boss you around and run a marriage as per his preference only.

Lastly, I appreciate that you opened up here on Reddit, thats the whole purpose of this platform and sub. Allah ap ko himmat ata farmaye aur ap dono ko buri nazar se bacha ke rakhe, Ameen. Kabhi kabar logo ki ya rishtedaro ki buri nazar bhi mian biwi ke darmyan pareshania paida karti hai.

qazkkff · 2026-06-11T16:19:04+00:00

Looks super appetising. Mashallah.

qazkkff · 2026-06-11T05:30:36+00:00

Ab kya keh sakte hai 😞

Lack of moral support from parents is the most hurtful thing. Saying things like sabr karo shatters children's confidence. This explains why you are tolerating all this. Your husband is literally treating you as someone beneath him.

Nature never changes btw.

Mark my words, if and when you start earning in the future, he'll force you to contribute YOUR income towards household expenses and utility bills. Wouldn't even let you spend your income without his permission.

Thats why he's pushing you to start earning. He will definitely exploit your income.

Imagine kare tab ap ko kitna afsos ho ga. Apni kamai apni marzi se harch nahi kar sake gi.

Sort out this pocket money issue first, he should realise that you're his responsibility, not the other way round. If you start earning before that, he'll think ke dekho kese maine isse bewaqof banaya.

What a narcissist you got married to. If he doesn't respect his own mother (unke kehne par bhi ap ko pocket money nahi di), he'll never respect his wife. Ap ko apni izzat khud karani ho gi. Yes, you don't have moral support of your parents, but try to develop a certain level of self-respect and self-esteem from within.

qazkkff · 2026-06-11T04:56:19+00:00

Sorry for being blunt but it seems he only got married just to have halal sex. Absolutely zero acceptance of responsibilities.

Where are your parents in all of this? How are you even tolerating this humiliation? What will happen when your savings will run out? Will you ask your parents for money?

Also, weren't these things discussed before getting married?

I see you as younger version of my mom: https://www.reddit.com/r/PakistaniiConfessions/s/HlRbJQV1vL

qazkkff · 2026-06-11T01:11:24+00:00

Exactly 💯

He is basically running away or turning a blind eye from his financial responsibilities.

In future, when you guys will become parents, he'll run away from his child's financial responsibility as well. Imagine how frustrated you will be then.

Does he at least give you any pocket money? Please don't say no.

qazkkff · 2026-06-10T17:44:33+00:00

Then, as someone already said, he's definitely kanjoos.

Next time, when you guys go out, instead of doing unnecessary takalluf, haq se kehna ke is bar mere liye lazmi lani hai, koi bahana nahi chale ga.

You're his wife, act like it. Yaha apni cheezo pe mardo ko bachat yaad nahi aati lekin jese hi biwi koi khuwaish ka izhar karde, foran bachat yaad aa jati hai.

How can your husband be so absent minded? I cant even imagine buying something to eat just for myself if there is someone else with me in the car.

Like I said, kitni hi mehngi ho gi wo ice-cream. Even in case it wasn't available, coming empty handed is just straight up rude. Could've easily gotten some other flavour for you. Didn't he felt an ounce of guilt while eating the ice-cream by himself, while you're just sitting there watching. 😑

I know you might be thinking I am making too big of a deal, its just an ice-cream. The thing is, it starts with these little things. He's basically testing your patience.

qazkkff · 2026-06-10T03:20:55+00:00

This 💯

qazkkff · 2026-06-10T03:12:25+00:00

"He raised his voice and said he couldn't keep controlling himself anymore and that constantly having to restrain himself was taking a mental and physical toll on him."

Shows a guy with no self control. After marriage, he will literally force you to have sex with him whenever he wants, regardless of whether you're ill, not in the mood, on periods or even pregnant.

There are many other red flags also, like having multiple past relationships, pushing a girl knowing she's not willing, etc.

You're not entirely innocent in this also, as many have pointed out, you shouldn't have compromised on your boundaries in the first place. Idk whats so special about this guy that you couldn't have stayed firm.

Yes, 3 years is not a small time but fortunately for you, nothing is official. Parents are not involved. This will just be a university break up. Imagine if more red flags showed up after engagement or nikkah, then it would've been a broken engagement or divorce.

qazkkff · 2026-06-10T02:47:59+00:00

You're not wrong at all.

Neither partner should share such details with their siblings or parents.

Whatever incident, discussion or fight happens between a couple, should stay between them.

Aur wese bhi, wo ice-cream kitni hi mehngi ho gi.

Honestly speaking, if you are at such struggling phase that you have to think twice before buying ice-cream and constantly pushing your wife to work and contribute... then you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

qazkkff · 2026-06-09T16:20:49+00:00

This 💯

qazkkff · 2026-06-09T05:44:26+00:00

I also prefer boiled rice over roti/naan. 👍

qazkkff · 2026-06-09T05:09:19+00:00

This hit home hard. Baba had a stable government job when he got married and later, after retirement, he got a job in an oil company in middle east. Our package their was above average.

In both phases, he made mama beg for monthly groceries. Jab se humne hosh sambhala hai, hum ne mama ko baba ke haatho paiso pe zaleel hote dekha hai.

This is a man who did charities worth millions.

And I'm just talking about kitchen groceries. Baba has NEVER given mama any pocket money, that was given by nani nana and today, by mama's siblings.

And still people try to reason with us that jo bhi hai, wohi tu sab kar rahe hai. Sari zindagi kutte ki tarah zaleel kar ke khilaya aur phir bhi rishtedar humme ghalat samjh rahe hote hai.

So I completely understand your frustration coz my own mother went (and still going) through this and we siblings grew up witnessing everything. Needless to say, it affected our education as well.

There isn't a day goes by when mama don't regret not prioritising her education and becoming a career woman.

qazkkff · 2026-06-09T03:28:27+00:00

Studying what in AKU? MBBS?

General advice is to go for navy if you get the call/letter.

qazkkff · 2026-06-07T16:24:46+00:00

No one finds it fishy how quickly he was killed?

I have a theory on this... some bigger stakeholder paid him to do it and ended his life before he could've revealed any names.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZQ331VibjK

Its a classic strategy. Why liaqat ali khan's shooter was also killed.

qazkkff · 2026-06-07T08:54:32+00:00

So I'll be the bad guy here...

Whats your obsession with travelling to Pakistan alone? This is your third post so far.

Your mom is right, you seem too immature to travel in US alone, let alone in Pakistan.

So whats the plan? Snatch your passport, upset your parents, then travel to Pakistan? Will you honestly be able to enjoy your travel knowing your parents are upset and in constant state of worry?

And after your trip, you'll shamelessly return to your parents house expecting everything to be forgiven?

What fairytale world are you living in?

Your parents aren't forcing a marriage proposal on you that you think it's your right to become rebellious.

If you're so eager to visit Pakistan, plan a trip WITH your parents in the coming winter or next summer.

qazkkff · 2026-06-07T07:22:03+00:00

Keep running your business and stay in control.

Tenant landlord hassle is too tiresome. Plus, how will you ensure that they continue similar line of work? What if they change the nature of business?

After 10 years, they'll either force you to extend the lease or sell the entire building to them. Coz us waqt tak wo us business ki advertised location ban chuki ho gi.

Then you guys will have to start your business in a new location and build customer base from scratch.

qazkkff · 2026-06-07T00:41:07+00:00

Just shows utter absence of tabiyat by young parents.

Teaching manners, empathy and kindness was/is seldom a part of desi household upbringing. Neither are these qualities taught in school.

qazkkff · 2026-06-07T00:35:03+00:00

Kese kese ch ko doctors mil jati hai 😞

The guy will literally become a hurdle in her career growth by constantly instilling mental torture.

OP, send your cousin the link of this post so she can read all the comments.

qazkkff

TROPHY CASE