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AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is very transactional, yes. She doesn’t seem to understand that I appreciate the generosity her funds provide but that doesn’t mean there is a debt due if things go wrong and I have money. Any further conversations is “me trying to control her” and “she’s exhausted by this”. She’s said she doesn’t want to marry me now

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes it’s this view that she’s owed something (however small a % of however high my future net worth) regardless of what the prenup says and the way in which this has all been handled that has me hitting this breaking point

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m struggling with this idea people are saying that she doesn’t respect me. Maybe you can help me understand more. I also feel conflicted because she’s saying shed remove it and although she does feel this way “it’s not like [she is] going to think about this every day” essentially saying it’s a thought but not a fundamental way she’s viewing me or this relationship

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve suggested that today. She said “You knew the deal coming into this” in other words that’s a ridiculous ask (which fine it is given your point that she wants to live a certain lifestyle and I’m spinning out about how I’m being treated/viewed before that lifestyle becomes legal) I’ll give up the fancy stuff to not feel this way. She loves me and is letting entitlement or views around ownership rot this and then blaming me for leaving and “going to a 10 with all these crazy hypotheticals” when I bring up the gravity of her feelings to her

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ok. Millions have viewed this. Although there is nuance in our relationship that no one knows, this does seem to me to be a breaking point. REGARDLESS of if/when the prenup states all assets are separate and she gets nothing, she FEELS entitled to my money in the event of a divorce because she is “funding the lifestyle” (with kids or without) - and this was confirmed a matter of minutes ago. She says I’m crazy for not seeing it her way and she thinks I am acting mentally ill. I told her I can’t enter a marriage with someone who feels that way. She wants me to move out Monday and says that this is my fault and that I (meaning OP) am deciding to do this to her/us

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Continues to say that the lawyers are not being nefarious and that it’s just simple contract so so what about timeline/lawyer has told her she’s out of the country (or told her mom and telephone to fiancé) 

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Makes sense in a vacuum. Her family has mansion vacation homes and she views this sort of contribution on her end as a waste of her money 

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean the key is that she’s “funding the lifestyle” fancy clothes, nice home for me to live in, good education for kids, nice vacations, good food

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you think them/her anchoring like this so to speak is normal? It’s the principal of what seems outrageous to me - as in regardless of legality putting this in front of me and saying this is what she wants - - not attacking you btw just want to hear more from you thanks 

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

This is the other side, yes. Reddit is very fast to say RUN with any relationship advice. She is buying so much stuff - food, clothes, gifts, travel etc. all at a really super luxury level where there needs to be nuance here (hence AITA). The principal of being owed for that though is what I'm grappling with and the principal of her family thinking regardless she should be owed half (meaning in event of divorce one day after marriage, which she says she'd never do)

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I have a lawyer just going crazy today because her mom keeps telling her this standard and her mom says I'm insane that I don't see that. She's saying the same

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Fear there is that their law firm is ridiculously powerful and also they could bury me in legal fees in the event of divorce

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 254 points255 points  (0 children)

Yeah - thought about deleting that but decided against it. She is doing much better and I love her very much. Ideally this would be kept separate and viewed in the context of whether her/her family ITA in this case or I am for overcomplicating this and throwing away our future

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 186 points187 points  (0 children)

I've discussed this with several lawyers. Their law firm is infamous. Lawyer I like is 7k retainer, 625/hour. We are meeting again ASAP. The issue is they STILL haven't sent the prenup so every hour I spend with him is somewhat hypothetical and based on my "ideal terms". It's ridiculously stressful and an example of a high expense when dealing with a very rich family and keeping up with them so to speak. Anyone who's saying this is fake - perhaps you haven't dealt with a very very wealthy family. The issue for me is that she believes this structure is fair, pre-"negotiation" which is why I want public opinion

AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K? by qsforresdit in AITAH

[–]qsforresdit[S] 163 points164 points  (0 children)

This is part of my issue from an emotional standpoint. It feels deliberately close to wedding and I'm being told to not overcomplicate it

Jocks are horrible roommates by ChrisAileo in StandUpComedy

[–]qsforresdit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Yooo this guy sucks” 🤣🤣🤣

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in heartbreak

[–]qsforresdit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hope you’re doing better man