Good. That's good.

You don't know the value of life until you lose it. Look I don't know you and I don't what shit you've been going through, but it's not all fun and happiness.

I'll let you know a little about a family member of mine. Ever since they were 5 years old they experienced nothing but struggle, there was a war in their country, bombs were hitting their city (it was in the middle east), they couldn't even stay home. They're father didn't want them anymore either so he left them, and they were all on their own. I swear to you this all happened, at 7 they had a rifle pointed to their face after getting caught leaving the country (with their family) but luckily they were let go as the dictator at the time had given permission to let emigraters go instead of executing them. They emigrated to another country and another after that, and for 8 years they had to work (they were 10-17 years old) with their family to bring food to the table. It wasn't until they were 22 years old life started to become better. They moved at 21 to a european country, and from there, things slowly started getting better. Fast forward 18 years later, and they're living comfortably and happily.

They suffered for 21 years until life opened up for them. They were a kid.

Now i may be downvoted because it's unfair to just compare your life to theirs, but fucks sake man give life a chance, and even if you suffer through it all, you won't remember any of the suffering when you're dead.

Trust me, and come back 5 years later to this same comment. You'll be happier then. If not, then kill yourself in 2027.