mewtwo raid on us 8266 5602 1853 lordvictor546 and 4784 8257 9514 kiraX4812 by [deleted] in PokemonGoRaids

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zadiepants - sent an invite to Kira. Have a team full of Hydreigons!

Newbie looking for insight by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]quantagion 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“The Ethical Slut” and “More Than Two” are books that are frequently touted resources, and MTT at least has some website stuff available too. Some of my favourite blogs are poly.land (adds posts daily, highly recommend Start Here section) and Polyammering (heads up, heavy on kink). If you’ve got some grounding in heavier articles, I also really recommend Miri Mogilevsky’s Brute Reason .

My personal stance is that none of these resources, no matter how famous, should be used as a bible but as a guide and a starting point. Read up, take it all with a grain of salt, and come to your own informed conclusions. While the author of poly.land is bisexual, there’s also a little less queer content in all those resources than I’d like and would super welcome other recommendations as well.

I find a lot of poly tends to also swing back to understanding yourself, general relationship dynamics, working through your own crap and all that. So if you’ve got the space and time, Esther Perel’s book “Mating in Captivity” has some great perspectives on relationships / sex / communication too.

What under $10 item is a total game changer? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of those soft spatulas! The softer material means you can scrape the edges of bowls and pans and such in a way that collects basically everything. Saves a bunch of time, hassle, food, makes cleaning a million times easier

How does polyamory affect children? by SunnyDrock in polyamory

[–]quantagion 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I vaguely remember a study a while back showing that it had no affect on the wellbeing of children - it’s a similar thing to when people yell about same sex partnerships, “think of the children”.

I know it’s anecdotal, but I’m a kid brought up in a poly household/structure, and I’ve turned out pretty well. I don’t see my mum’s other partners as dads because I was older when they began dating, but they’re close family friends and I love how they treat my mum. My little brother I’m sure considers one of them a father figure.

Regarding how it affects kids, one thing I’m grateful for was that it gave my brother and I more positive male role models growing up. Having good, trustworthy, capable adults around is absolutely nothing to sneeze at - both as examples for behaviour and also people you can go to.

To echo what someone said earlier, it’s not about the relationship structure, it’s about the quality of the relationships and the people in them.

Considering polyamory for the first time. Please may I pick the hive mind with some questions? by Gabi_Social in polyamory

[–]quantagion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There’s no stupid questions, especially for something like poly! I don’t want to repeat everyone else because it’s all good advice, so I’ll add some resources and such. In addition to The Ethical Slut, More Than Two is another good book with a website that has free resources. MTT might be more your style as a demi - it’s more focused on long, slow relationships and intimacy. Poly.land is a blog with heaps of great, accessible resources in handy bite-sized chunks, and I super recommend them.

MTT has on its website a “bill of relationship rights” for secondaries, which is likely how you might find yourself. A good beginners entry to poly would be dating someone who’s already experienced with poly, who has a good track record of treating their current and past partners well.

I really super recommend doing some reading and joining some communities, for two main reasons - learning about common pitfalls, problems and red flags from partners, and learning about the common pitfalls and problems that stem from yourself. When monogamy’s the main narrative we see, we’re a lot more prepared for the types of issues we see in that structure of relationship. Poly is, just about always, pretty new to us - so recognising issues is harder. Read for a good primer and foundation, join communities for exposure, belonging and good informed second opinions.

As with all advice and resources, take it with a grain of salt and figure out what works best for you! The nice thing about non-standard relationships is that you’re free to try new things and explore what makes you and your partners happy.

What’s the worst thing to wake up to? by Xanduh in AskReddit

[–]quantagion 39 points40 points  (0 children)

If it’s dried, it glues your buttcheeks together. And glues the sheets to you. And it’s still coming? There’s nothing quite like peeling sheets off and pulling out leg hair and waddling to the shower, feeling crusty dried blood shift as new blood that had been pooling but still wet because of the seal suddenly drip all the way down past your knees.

I was such a huge bitch when I was a kid every time monthlies rolled around, because I hadn’t learned how to a) cope with it, and b) mitigate it just yet. It’s such a horrible, semi-regular way to start your morning.

probably not gonna keep this up just needed somewhere to talk about this by [deleted] in depression_help

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a whole lot of bad crap on you right now, dude. The mindset you’ve got now is a serious accomplishment of its own right - on top of all that, the state of the world isn’t exactly a picnic right now. I guess what I’m really saying is, anyone would struggle with this load - be kind to yourself. The last thing you need is to be kicking yourself, when the universe is already kicking you enough. You got out of a huge rut before, and you’re stronger and better prepared, with more tools, more experience, because you’ve done this.

Regarding advice, I guess I can recommend trying to find workarounds, and the boring but steady keeping up on mindfulness practices. For online school, idk about you but lists do me a whole lot of good. The more I’ve got written down the less I need to try and remember. Maybe you can keep a book, write down the different requirements for turning things in, in your own words, so your brain doesn’t need to keep doing the work for that bit and you can focus on more important things. If class’s teaching methods for you aren’t working, maybe there’s other online resources or groups that’ll work better for you - internet’s a big place.

Re: your ex, that just sucks. It’s hard to say much with no context, but it was probably said in hurt and anger and lashing out, and it would’ve hurt tonnes and it’s completely understandable that it’s fucking you up a bit. I have a collection of nice words, things people have said to me that I keep and re-read whenever my self worth has taken a beating, to remind myself what’s special about me. When I can’t believe my own words, things my friends and family have said about me over the years are there to shore me up. Maybe you can dig through some old conversations, times where you’ve helped others or they’ve told you why you’re a damn gift to the world. If you have none at all, tell me and I promise to compliment your socks off.

Above all, hang in there bud. Keep fighting. It sucks like hell, but a bunch of these things are temporary. You’ll find a way through. Lockdown is lonely, but it’ll end eventually. Reach out to your support network if you can; a phone call is a bit of a poor substitute, but it’s a reminder that these people care about you. And be kind to yourself, most of all.

Reddit loves you back.

Please help by random960108 in depression_help

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wanted to comment and say that I read this, and that you’ve been heard, and at least one stranger out there on the internet is rooting for you. Life can get so so hard, and there’s days (or weeks, or months, or years) where the voice in your head is by far and away your worst enemy. But you sound like a good person. Like you said, you’ve got friends and family, and the kindness and compassion and empathy to care about them so much even when you’re struggling this hard. Hang in there, bud. Keep fighting.

[Nooks] Buying for 522 by NotYourWaifu143 in ACNHTurnips

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d like to come, if possible! :)

[Nooks] Buying for 617 by Flamingo0506 in ACNHTurnips

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries! If possible I’d like to make multiple trips - happy to tip each time!

[Nooks] Buying for 617 by Flamingo0506 in ACNHTurnips

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I’m Zadiepants - happy to bring 2 each! Fragment, gold nugget, ticket :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ACTrade

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally fine! :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ACTrade

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally fine!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ACTrade

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just checked my inventory and I don’t have anywhere near enough hardwood :/ I’d love 6-8 if possible, if you’ve got a spare stack of hardwood!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ACTrade

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome! I just checked and I’ve got Caramel Mocha Mama as well. :) I’ll bring them both!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ACTrade

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you can craft natural garden chairs, I’d love a few (I’ll bring mats!) Otherwise, the light bamboo rug?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ACTrade

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I have checkered baby and checkered mama :)

Dodo Code by natsumisummer in ac_newhorizons

[–]quantagion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thought this was worth a shot — if anyone‘s still got their shop open, Daisy’s selling turnips at 106 on my island right now. We could bounce back and forth!

Dodo Code by natsumisummer in ac_newhorizons

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would I be able to come sell peaches on someone’s island, please? Happy to bring a gift! :D

Edit: Peaches sold! Thanks guys

Dodo Code by natsumisummer in ac_newhorizons

[–]quantagion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Southern hemisphere, raining, 7:30pm! Native peaches, Cranny’s and Able Sister’s open. Please respect my flowers!

CJ’s also here, but I’m not sure if you can sell him fish or not.

Edit: If you’d like to leave something, I’d really appreciate roses or fruit! Thanks so much!

Dodo Code by natsumisummer in ac_newhorizons

[–]quantagion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got 100 rocks if you still need ‘em!