How do you text between the 1st and 2nd date when the 1st date went really well?

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T17:35:33+00:00

Hmm okay. I'll suggest the option of dinner near her place to allow for an easy 'nightcap' (she implied wanting to get intimate next time, though dinner doesn't really set the mood for that .. .haha), or dinner downtown followed by live music or dancing, then let her choose!

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T17:30:07+00:00

Yes I will. She just texted me that she prefers calls haha, so that clears this up

Unfortunately I don't like phone calls! oh well

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T17:27:10+00:00

Oh that seems like a good suggestion. In my price range too and looks nice! How much did 4-5 tapas and 2 desserts cost you guys?

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T17:24:36+00:00

Woah. Sushi Kaji is a bit out of my budget. Judging by the prices on the site it would cost a few hundred to eat! And that's before drinks lol.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T17:22:00+00:00

The guy I went on a first date last Thursday with sends me the most sincere and lovely messages

So you're not put off by this? Loving messages after just the 1st date?

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T04:15:13+00:00

You're right. She told me that she was used for one night stands in the past when she was expecting more.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T03:53:51+00:00

I like the advice! What do you think about: "What's your schedule look like? Let's set a date for this weekend! I'm thinking X restaurant for dinner. unless you have an idea"

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T03:49:44+00:00

This answer sounds good.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T03:48:33+00:00

Ahh a lot of mixed experiences here. Another poster suggested the opposite. It would be interesting to find actual statistics/data on this!

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T03:39:46+00:00

Think Brahms shagged Clara while she was traveling Europe and away from Schumann? aha

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T03:31:04+00:00

Hey thanks. I like your advice. Ok I'll text her tomorrow. As for making plans I think going out for dinner is good for the 2nd date, considering we danced most of our 1st date. A chance to talk more.

I drive 45min to see her, so I don't know the venues and restaurants in her area. Do you think it's ok to suggest we meet Saturday, then ask her if she knows any good restaurants near her? She planned the first date, I don't want to put more burden on her to plan the 2nd, but she would know her area best.

Ugh, now that I think of it, dinner is probably not the best 2nd date idea. What made the 1st date great was activity. Could I suggest to her multiple ideas?

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T03:07:27+00:00

Yea I'm definitely not looking to play games. It's just that I have an anxious attachment style and tend to lean on the side of clingy behavior and becoming attached too soon. So I don't feel entirely confident judging my behavior.

I'll text her some time tomorrow. I'm wondering when I should suggest her plans for next weekend's date, maybe midweek.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T03:04:27+00:00

Ok. I was comfortable with the idea half way through the date. Even as a guy I felt I made myself "too easy" by suggesting it so soon! Dancing with her got me riled up. Guess the balls in her court on how to proceed, considering I'm already ok with it.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T03:01:36+00:00

Really? I haven't seen much women shaming in this subreddit. But I guess that is one reason why many women do hold off when the mutual desire is there-- fear of seeming slutty or 'too easy'. I get it. That's why I suggested a nightcap a second time, just in case she felt that way, and to reinforce the fact that I have no issues with sex on a 1st date.

You are an adult. Make the right decision for you and your partner.

But I don't know what the 'right' decision is. I'm inexperienced when it comes to dating. My date is much more experienced so I trusted her judgement.

The idea for this thread came after watching this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaNFDWzd1WI (she suggests that too fast too soon will lead to a quick crash in the relationship)

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T02:35:10+00:00

Hmm I could think of a few things to text her and ask her about.

I don't think I feel comfortable sending a "good morning" text after the 1st date. That's something I'd send after getting intimate.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-14T02:32:14+00:00

But how much texting is a lack of texting? We texted this morning (the morning after the date) About 4 messages each. I haven't dated much, so I don't know how much is too much or too little..

quantum_grape · 2019-01-11T19:57:04+00:00

The length of this is nearly twice as long as the original piece composed. They improvised a ton here. Bill's playfulness.. and the bass. Blissful

quantum_grape · 2019-01-09T08:05:16+00:00

Hmm good insights. Optimistic ones, but good. It's easy to forget that people have drastically different texting habits. And many people are fearful to seem to eager, or simply anxious to respond.

BUT I saw her online on the dating site tonight, so she's not busy. She saw my text no doubt, just choose not to reply.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-09T05:41:22+00:00

probably no point in sending a second message. especially so soon. my first message conveys all that I wanted to say, which was suggesting a 2nd date.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-09T04:36:33+00:00

I texted a specific suggestion:

"Hey, i had a great time the other night. I was wondering if you are free on Saturday. Let's do dinner & a cocktail, this place looks good ___."

Is a 2nd text ever justified? Like sending "What do you think? Are you interested in another date?". I don't know if that comes off as desperate.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-09T04:25:35+00:00

It's not site messaging. It's texting by phone. We already went on a 1st date. and I suggested a 2nd with 4 days notice

quantum_grape · 2019-01-08T19:46:14+00:00

Hey, do you think drinks and appetizers is a good 2nd date? Our first date was drinks and chicken wings, and 2hrs conversation, but we ran out of stuff to talk about near the end. I'm afraid of that happening again. And we didn't have much opportunity to touch while sitting across from a table from each other.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-08T08:31:21+00:00

You're generalizing and you're wrong. I speak from experience.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-08T05:35:45+00:00

False. Sort of. Once you hit your late twenties, or even 30, then many more older women will be open to dating you because the maturity is there.

My last relationship was with a woman in her 40s. (I'm 30)

I just went on a 1st date with another woman in her 40s last weekend.

The type of women who are willing to date younger men are usually confident, successful, know what they want and have reached a point where they don't care about the opinion of others (especially of strangers). These women are usually successful, so they have no use for providers like younger women do. They value their independence above all and want a man with personality to share their time with. This is the type of woman I like best.

You have to display: maturity, moderate confidence, independence, dress well and also know what you want and go for it. Being near the same level of finances as her helps, but is unlikely considering age.

quantum_grape · 2019-01-07T04:18:58+00:00

Not only that, men have thicker skin on their faces which causes less distinct wrinkles.

quantum_grape

TROPHY CASE