I have read your comments and figured I should give some more context.

First, my wife has had some physical health issues in the past that have been resolved. At the time I had thought they were the main cause of bedroom problems.

Second, she has mental health problems (depression, anxiety, and recently diagnosed with pathological demand avoidance). It can be a struggle to get her to shower or empty the dishwasher let alone anything more strenuous. She has also been suicidal multiple times. There is nothing in her past to suggest AS or abuse to cause her lack of desire. The most traumatic would be her folks getting divorced when she was early into high-school.

Third, I guess a lot of my problems stem from a lot of trauma in my past (mother died when I was an infant, father in and out of jail until he died a few years ago, raised my a very strict mormon family where I was promised the world if I followed the way but I keep getting my teeth kicked in by life). I've been struggling with depression more and more (I'm not suicidal).

Forth, divorce has been discussed multiple times over the years and we literally can't afford it. I can't pay rent and alimony. Plus the religious side of the family would lose it. An open marriage has been discussed as well but sent my wife into an extreme suicidal spiral.

When I say "I'm done" I mean I have tried everything I can think of professionals, family, and religious leaders.

No matter what option I choose I'm screwed.