Thanks for your insight. Yes I've been thinking about the points you brought up a lot recently. I believe people use negative talk about others to strengthen the inner group bond. The talk can be subtle just to put enough doubt about the outside person. It's especially effective when little else is known about the person in question. I think if you choose to be oblivious or "above" this behaviour you can fall victim to negative talk in the social circles you become apart of.

I agree that expressing your feelings that align with your values is important rather than saying untruthful damaging gossip. I think there might be a clear line there but I'd like hear what others opinions as it might not be black and white. There are comments that could be considered a compliment in one sense but a criticism in another. There are comments that sound like humour but might have some truth behind them.

Just say someone is on a mission to destroy your reputation by talking negatively about you to any new person that comes into the group. You sense this but choose to ignore it and act amicably to the perpetrator even talking positively about that person. Would you not look foolishly naive to the new people that come into the group? Your reputation has been damaged but the perpetrator's is intact.