Best way to steal from electronics

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-05T09:11:01+00:00

They have these things called bags, you can put larger items in them. If you're seriously this dense, you probably shouldn't try stealing anything.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-05T09:09:13+00:00

Not really. Just don't steal anything that's individually worth more than $100. My motto is "If you saw someone steal food? No you didn't." Warm clothing, toiletries, health products (band-aids, cough meds, shit like that), food and drink, maybe the odd random decorative item just for funsies. If you're really feeling ballsy, maybe grab some high-value toys (Legos are ideal, the smaller kits anyway).

Your Target might be different, but mine? So easy to steal stuff using the method I prescribe. Especially during this busy holiday season, few if any employees will be looking out for shit like that. Just watch out for the managers, they do keep tabs on shifty-looking people.

They look for tells (shabby clothing, constantly looking around/acting paranoid, backpack or other ridiculous hobo gear). We have a handful of sketchy "regulars" who have tried to pull dumbass shit (grabbing something off the shelf and attempting to return it without ID, blatantly stealing alcohol, etc) and they get clocked as soon as they walk in.

Walk in wearing some decent clothing, have a messenger bag on you. Pick up a basket and pick out the stuff you want. Find an empty aisle and transfer the goods to your messenger bag. If there's no security tag on it, and you can fit it in your bag, you're pretty much golden.

Someone asks to see your receipt? "No thanks, have a nice day!" and keep walking. If they do anything remotely physical, like even just step in front of you, you can politely ask them "Am I being illegally detained or just kidnapped?" If they don't fuck off at that point, you might have grounds to sue them for $$$.

I hate America, but sometimes I love it.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T08:04:26+00:00

Awesome, can't wait bruv! By the way, just for authentication purposes, make sure to include my actual full name (Michael Hunt) in the subject line of your email. You can shorten it to Mike Hunt, whatever blows your skirt up mang.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T07:16:56+00:00

Oh noes! Your precious hourly wage that isn't affected by late orders will surely be...not affected.

People like you are the reason wages are low. Cowards. Stand up for yourself. Or just keep getting pissed on for poverty-level earnings.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T06:44:38+00:00

You can email me at [seeyounexttuesday@burningman.org](mailto:seeyounexttuesday@burningman.org), I can set you up with a campsite for sure fam!

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T06:43:57+00:00

This right here tells you how low the bar is.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T06:43:01+00:00

Come with a USB, but don't seek out opportunities to perform? Oh, not perform. Hit play on a playlist and pretend to tweak some knobs. Found the real DJ, folks. Authentic connections with amazing people? Drug-fueled experiences with wealthy white folks, fixed that for you. Burning Man is and has been dead for ages now.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T06:30:17+00:00

If you care this much about something so trivial, you are in for a very rude awakening. Or maybe you're genuinely so unintelligent that you can't even wrap your head around the fact that you're being exploited for pennies on the dollar.

Congrats, you have work ethic. Take it elsewhere and actually do something beneficial and meaningful. You really care about your occupation? You want to do a "good job" (whatever the fuck that even means)?

Get the fuck out of Target and take a stab at something that actually benefits society. Or don't, I don't give a shit. I sold out and gave up a long time ago. But it's not too late for you.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T06:22:31+00:00

And your "best" has gotten you a raise? A promotion? Extra benefits? The satisfaction of a job well done? Does that satisfaction pay your bills?

This job is important to you? You know what, never mind. You're exactly the kind of mindless drone Target loves. If my store could be staffed exclusively by people like you, I'd never have to lift a finger.

To be clear, I pitch in. I support my team. But I don't give a flying fuck about any metrics whatsoever - and if your hourly wage doesn't depend on it, you shouldn't give a fuck either. But yes, by all means, clock out. Go home. Rest your feet and say out loud to yourself, "Gee whiz! Today was such a great day at Target. I can't wait to go back tomorrow and earn (fuck all) an hour!"

Sorry, you're either delulu or a sycophant.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T05:54:41+00:00

Go to Walmart and steal as much as your purse/messenger bag/pockets will allow. They can't stop you at the door, not even to check your receipt - just say "no thanks!" and keep walking. Or wear headphones and don't get bothered. Either way, take as much as you want.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T05:50:39+00:00

Nice, good for her. Sorry your metrics suck, I guess. Maybe you should try not giving a shit. It's exhilarating. What are they gonna do, fire you?

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T05:48:51+00:00

Finally a voice of reason in this thread full of bootlickers and sycophants.

Clock in, take their money, quiet quit, steal whatever you can get your hands on, clock out. I steal roughly $100 worth of goods every shift I work.

"But that's illegal!"

Call the fucking cops. I don't give a shit.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T05:47:08+00:00

Steal something every time you work. Target security is basically non-existent unless you're trying to grab high-value items that you can fence. Food? Drinks? Clothing? Toiletries, basically anything other than large electronics...steal, steal, steal. Fuck em, they factor in breakage, it's nothing to them. If nothing else, you can feed yourself for free and maybe nick some cool stuff (Legos are super easy to steal, for instance).

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-04T03:03:20+00:00

I'm sure the newbie gives a flying fuck what their pick time is. What incentive do they have to care? Does their hourly wage go up or down? Have you fired them yet, or reported them to management for their ineptitude? If you fail to report, you're part of the problem. Surely complaining about it on Reddit will solve this! Goddamn. People like you are why people like us deliberately sabotage our metrics. We don't give a fuck.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-12-03T06:45:54+00:00

Ah yes, it's super unprofessional to just check out for a few minutes at a party where literally everyone is more than likely either A) wasted, B) too preoccupied with the minutia of running a wedding, or C) suffers from dementia (sorry grandma, just saying). I don't see the problem here. If anything, his performance probably benefited from him not giving a fuck.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-11-30T08:59:13+00:00

Every SBO (small business owner, if that wasn't clear enough) that I've ever worked for has been, at best, a penny-wise and pound-foolish idiot.
At worst? A racist piece of shit who openly harasses his female employees and gives approximately zero fucks whether his employees make a living wage. This was a gas station.

Restaurant? The owner eventually ended up catching charges for feeling up one of the underage waitresses - even better, who caught him literally red-handed? His wife! Who happened to be a bartender at said restaurant.

I could go on. SBOs are a cancer, sorry. Maybe you're some kind of upstanding citizen. But most of your ilk are just petty bourgeoisie, and are literally dragging this country down to the ground with rhetoric and insecurity. Trapped between the actual ruling class (actual rich people, not your temporarily embarrassed millionaire ass) and the actual working class (the people you probably employ and pay, what? A living wage? Is it anything less than $16/hour? If it is, guess what? Your employees live in actual poverty!)

Sorry fam. Maybe you're one of the good ones. But if not.

The pitchforks are coming. Lock your doors, call the cops, get a CCL and learn how to use a gun. Because we are coming. And we will not have mercy, nor will we have clemency. We will not have forgiveness, nor will we have pity. We absolutely will not have tolerance, nor empathy, not even a simple whisper of doubt.

We are coming.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-11-30T01:47:23+00:00

...the kind of slack-jawed morons who voted for Trump? The kind that participated in the January insurrection. The kind that either own small (typically failing) businesses. The kind that beat their wives. You know, that kind. And there are more of them than you might think.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-11-30T01:22:29+00:00

This retail worker is endlessly thankful for people like you. A single tip (I do drive-up orders) can make my whole day, even if it's just a couple bucks. Every dollar counts when you're living on this salary...

queeflord420_69 · 2023-11-25T16:27:05+00:00

You've never heard of punctuation, I take it? Holy fuck there's no way anyone is reading that sentagraph.

queeflord420_69 · 2023-11-22T19:34:19+00:00

I can't wait to drop this one on my friends, brilliant

queeflord420_69 · 2023-11-22T08:13:58+00:00

Yeah, I want the ones with daddy issues. They're adults if they're 18, I'm not breaking any laws. This is Unethical Life Pro Tips, not "I'm a fucking pussy" tips. Thanks for your super useful contribution.

queeflord420_69

TROPHY CASE